Please help me
I have a fetish. I would really like to go down on a woman during her period. What I want is you to start your period and don't put a tampon in. Just email me and I will meet you anywhere you desire and go down on you for as long as you want. Please, Im serious about this someone has to want to do this. Please email Mark at XXXXXX@XXXXX.com, surprise me in the week I'm here, wife is out of town!
We here at WWHM have never heard of this phenomenon before.
Oh, wait a minute, we're WWHM. Of course we have.
Now if all you ladies would stop your collective gagging for a moment, we can get back to this personal ad.
While most women believe Mark should immediately be thrown into a boiling cauldron of angry asps, or perhaps skinned alive with salted envelope lips, maybe we ought to analyze what's really going on here.
Menstruation is a natural process. But women tend to treat it like they'd been stabbed at random by a homeless man in the train station. They're emotionally confused and distraught, they're bleeding, they're angry, they're defensive, and they sure as shit don't want to do the fucking dishes you fucking goddamn cocksucker, but you can't even do them right anyhow you fucking shit-for-brains asshole, it's not like you ever buy me anything anyway. Oh, sorry... I was menstruating. I got a little hysterical.
Anyway, just as if they had been stabbed by a homeless psychotic, women need at least a week to heal physically and psychologically from their periods. They may experience extreme mood swings during this week, hence the "Jekyll and Hyde" nature of menstruation. If you bother them at all for any reason, such as breathing rudely, they may react by sternly chewing the head off your dog and shoving it into the glove compartment of your Nissan. But at least they will fold the chewed-off head into neat, tidy little squares.
But what about sex? Therein lies the problem for men. Is it really wrong to have sexual contact during menstruation?
50% of women proclaim they are hornier while on their period, and the other 50% don't want sex at all. In a nutshell, men are essentially playing Russian roulette with their penis. When they ask for sex, they don't really know whether to expect a punch in the face, a weak handshake, or the sexual experience of a lifetime possibly involving a saddle, a swingset, fourteen giraffes and a box of vitamin-fortified cinnamon rolls.
And Mark's a gambler. Mark sees menstruation only as the natural process that it is, which is your body simply shedding unused eggs. And he doesn't really see the process as disgusting in nature. And maybe he likes eggs.
But does that make him disgusting?
Well, yes it does. Very.