"Birthday wish" -19Well hung white man looking for a forked tongue hottie/beauty for a birthday blowjob (and yes it really is my birthday.) Ken
Awww.. looks like someone's mommy still buys him underwear for his birthday. How cute.
Now you just have to write "Tuesday" on the top with a black felt-tip marker.
You hung motherfucker, you!
Ken is hung like a...............................................(post in comments)
Mosquito suffering from micropenis.
ReplyDeleteRight, how the hell does he think those pants will help him get laid? He isnt a brick.
ReplyDeleteYUCK.
Pastel coloured My Little Pony ?
ReplyDeletehampster
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteA cheeto soaked in lime jello
ReplyDeleteAn "Oops! It's a poopy!" that tried to escape through the front flap
ReplyDeleteA Princess Barbie's Playhouse light switch
ReplyDeleteWoman
ReplyDeleteReally cold ameba that just crawled out of the Juno bay in the middle of January
ReplyDeleteJohn Wayne Bobbit before the reattachment
ReplyDeletehalf eaten jelly bean left behind in your sisters Easter basket
ReplyDeleteField mouse on crack that happens to be hidding in your Grandma Pearl's circulation panty hose
ReplyDelete2 year old
ReplyDeleteballs... tennis balls..
ReplyDeleteIt looks like a penis only smaller.
ReplyDeleteLMAO. You guys are all hysterical. Thanks for the laughs!
ReplyDeleteWell on the bright side.. who wants to try to deepthroat a big honkin long huge thing anyway? But just don't pretend to have one when um... you um.. obviously .. er.. DON'T! Maybe his wife has told him that all these years to stroke his ego or something. ("You ARE so LARGE honey, REALLY")
Wait, I missed this the first time I read the ad. FORKED TONGUE beauty? ...
ReplyDeleteLike, as in "Reptiles or GTFO"?
...miniature in a gallery of life-sized portraits. It's there somewhere. We just can't find it, and neither can he.
ReplyDeleteHe's as well hung as he is rich, self dependent, and good looking.
ReplyDeleteSo he's looking for some sort of lizard or snake or alien to help him wank off? I've heard of having sexy times with dogs or sheep or whatever mammals, but reptiles? That's a new one.
ReplyDeleteHope he finds one with a nice tongue and plenty 'o deadly venom. Darwinism at its best.
Geezus! Take off the glow in the dark, gag joke 'derwear from Spencers and put your Underoos back on.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure even Spiderman had a bigger schlong than that. Even for being a spider...
I would volunteer the gecko lizard I seen scaling the bedroom wall this morning, but not only would I NOT wish that on any living thing, I bet even a Komodo Dragon would choke on your small bone.
His undies make me think of sherbet :-D
ReplyDelete... in a tiny little spoon like they have at Baskin Robbins to sample the different flavors.
However, this sherbet would taste of chlorine and dried spewy.
Methinks Ken is the same dude that was masquerading as a stuffy upper class wine-drinker. lol
ReplyDeleteEverybody stay away from that blacklight switch.
Hmmm...
Ken is hung like a Rice Krispie before the Treat.
...wool Barbie tube sock, drying on the line after a hot wash.
ReplyDeleteWHAT.
THE....
seriously. Those may be the most asexual pair of undies I've ever seen, even without the small dank.
A Pimple............
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to add...
ReplyDeleteWHERE
are his balls?
Clearly he's got them if he posts an ad like this, so I know they're somewhere.
Mom's purse?
The little pocket on his 'Roos perhaps?
... hung like a...
ReplyDeleteGELDING!
Hmmm, I don't know. I have a 2yo gelding who is quite well hung. Hung like a horse you might say lmao. Actually, I had never noticed much difference in size among horses until this guy.
ReplyDeleteHe's hung like a stud field mouse...or at least that's how big I would guess a stud field mouse is?
ReplyDeleteHe must constantly be comparing himself to small children :roll eyes:--that or he's been looking in one of those mirrors where "objects are smaller than they appear".
Is he hung at ALL?
ReplyDeleteOh wait...maybe that isn't just a wrinkle...
AH-HA! I get it now, Green panties, I mean briefs, for the "reptile" forked tongue I wants on his "peepee" (I'm pretty sure that is what he would refer to it as)...I saw this thing on tv that people are actually having this body mod thing where they split their tongue like a fucking snake. What's really gross is that they can move the different sides separately afterwards. Um, yeah that's right up there with "pony play" for me...a big WTF! (Pony play is where one person is the pony, and dresses like one too, and the other is the master. This fantasy usually comes to play in real stables and ranches for the day...which begs to lead to the next question, who the hell whould open up their stables to these people?)
ReplyDelete...tortoise
ReplyDeleteI'm betting on the glow in the dark britches so when Mommy turns out the light and closes the door he can still find his pecker under the blankets so he can rub one out 'like big boys do' before falling asleep.
ReplyDelete*** You hung motherfucker, you! ***
ReplyDeleteThis makes me giggle each time I read it. I can just hear Weas yelling it at Mr. Green Bean.
hermaphrodite hummingbird on steroids
ReplyDeletea castrato.
ReplyDeletesing pretty little man.
Awwww....I've done two or three Asian men in my time...maybe he's just Asian? The biggest I've seen, has been the size of my pinkie...which is about, huh--two inches? Perhaps he's just a well-hung two incher Asian dude?
ReplyDeleteMind you--nothing wrong with the Asian dudes, but, in all seriousness, they are NOT NOT NOT well hung, in the slightest...and it might explain the cahreeeeeepy-ass yellow underwear, his MaMa bought for him.
a tic tac
ReplyDeleteThere was something hanging?
ReplyDelete