Monday, February 16, 2009

Single Male. Needs Girlfriend.


For once my friends, WWHM simply has no words.




Thanks Tina!

106 comments:

Eccentric_Lady said...

*ahem* A real winner here...

Yikes. Maybe if he'd actually say things that are well, honest and make him sound more human instead of a psycho-in-the-making he'd actually have a chance. As it stands he's got a snowball's chance in hell...

Cut-N-Jump said...

Damn. They took my speakers away here at work. Maybe that's a good thing?

I'll have to watch it when I get home.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure he's stoned in this video.

Anonymous said...

It seemed to me like he thinks that being "crazy" is cool. He broadcasts it (not just in this video but on his youtube page and in other posts he made on youtube). Either way, I want nothing to do with him.

horseys4me said...

I think I may also be speechless...i would like to know just how lonely and f**ked up a girl would have to be to answer that!?

Drrn. said...

Smoke weed e'eryday.

cactus-wren said...

Love the 'duuuuuhhhhmmm....'s throughout his monologue, as if he's just stumped with trying to come up with an even more nightmarish tidbit to share with everyone. I mean, jeez, there's honesty and then there's omg-plz-stop-talking-now honesty.

Fhtrkstr101 said...

Oh dear god.

I want to cry? or Laugh? I am not even sure.

Heather said...

"you're probably not hot enough to get it up anyway!"

Nice! The line about the 16 year olds made me cringe - I don't care if it's the age of consent, it's creepy.

Lynda said...

I just think its sad... people with his mental health issues have a very hard time in life. Just sad...

The Barn Bitch said...

Well, he's honest.

Jadis said...

WOW...

I'm - well, hell - I'm speechless.

LittleDeadGirl said...

Score! I live in Ohio I could drive to see this stud. Oh yeah ladies, eat your hearts out. I want to say what he said freaked me out but to be honest I was too busy staring at the line/hair down the middle of his forehead and couldn't focus on anything. Than again when I did tune in all I heard was "dhuuuuummm" so I don't think I was missing the cure for cancer or an Oscar worthy script being recited ...

Persnickety Ticker said...

Uhhhh...

That's all I got to say about that.

My Vancouver said...

At least he's honest. Not that it's a selling point, but it's better to find out riiiight at the start.

I've known women to marry men not much more desirable than this, by the way.

Gustibus said...

Did I really hear him say getting a job for his girlfriend is how it worked BEFORE? Do we think she's one of his special invisible friends, or can she possibly be viewed by others on this planet (I know I'd like to get a look at a woman who'd fall for this jerk).

Being a Michigan gal, I've got to say I have this sudden, intense urge to emigrate.

ranearia said...

.....umm..no comment *laughs*

Anonymous said...

It's like a trainwreck, you don't want to watch, but you do...

Looking at other videos of this kid, the stains down his shirt made me puke a little in my mouth.

His friends are almost as cool as he is.

Doublebanker said...

Awesome clip..a definite winner!

Voted for you in all the categories for the blog awards!

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DB

RebelJubilee said...

wow, just wow. I am now very very frightened to be single, if there are people out there like this in the dating pool...

fairy-firefly said...

Uhhhh.

I think someone forgot to take their medication when they woke up.

And he lives in Michigan....that's an embarrassment to us all....makes me want to watch a Lions game.
And maybe get eaten by a lion.

*shudders*

easyduzit592 said...

haha WOW. i think my belt tightened a few notches when he said he was from michigan...hopefully now where near me

the stuff said...

I'm single. I am officially very depressed now (More so than before). This is what's left out there isn't it? Well at least there's the money at the end of the shit slide. And getting to fuck other guys. I'm interested... sign me up.

Tukaram said...

I thought it was pretty funny. His satire was... oh wait... was he serious? I better watch it again *^.^*

Brandy said...

If you're making a dating video, try looking at the CAMERA rather than YOURSELF! Unless, of course, you're as autistic as you sound.

And there's a difference between not FEELING or being able to IDENTIFY an emotion and not HAVING any. You have them. Otherwise you wouldn't be feeling lonely, and therefore wouldn't need to make a dating video.

And WHAT is with that braid????

You MUST be young, to think that 'like a million' dollars is even close to a lot, or even enough. If I live another 40 years (and the odds are good), I will make a million dollars in disability payments. It's not a lot of money, dood.

That writer guy said...

Yeah, the problem with this blog is that I don't know when the people are joking. I like to tell myself that they are joking, it keeps me from crying (sometimes).

Ladyfingers8 said...

Why does he want a girlfriend if he has a limp dick? I think the weed is killing his penis!

Tribblehappy said...

"Hit me up"-side the head with a clue by four. Please. Because I'm lonely and my average size penis won't stay up because I smoke weed. Thank you. Duuuuuuhhhhhhbuhbye.

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Viva_Lolita said...

Oh my God, this is in Michigan? Ten bucks it's a product of Muskegon.

And my mother wonders why I'm interested in dating????

Anonymous said...

Whoa.Well any hungarian readers would get some xtra laugh about the hair. Reminds me of a certain celeb. XD

Anastasia said...

Holy cats.

WTF is with that little hair deal? He is like the Saddest Unicorn. I'm glad he is putting off the many blind deaf retarded 14 year olds that might be into him. Of course blind deaf retarded 16 year olds are a whole different deal.

I actually think his somebody should forward this to his parents. Dimes to dollars he would suddenly get the motivation to have a job.

Hyena Overlord said...

Saddest little unicorn is right...at both ends.

He looks like an Eddie Munster wannabe on anti-psychotics and a sedative.

If he's okay if his girlfriend fucks around with other guys why would she need him? He has no redeeming qualities.

LG said...

For the record, I know some really awesome people who are bipolar and/or schizophrenic who really amaze me with how they make it through life and manage their symptoms and figure out how to lead a normal existence.

They all have one thing in common: they don't advertise their mental illness for sympathy points in this way. Ug.

Crazy Raven Productions said...

Ummm... I'd just like to say good luck there, sport. Wow. What a winner.

Anonymous said...

is this for real? or is it a joke?? No guy would really say that, would he?

Trainer X said...

Oh for the love of all things good and holy...

I Hate Your Horse

robyn said...

This is too funny!! He shoulda at least had a script of some kind--would've helped w/ the pauses..

But you know, schizoprenic and bipolar that he is, even tho he does drugs, he COULD change, ya know? We just should give people the benefit of the doubt, ya know?

*huggles*

9_9

Anonymous said...

Being the "rich relative", and having married into a family of "rich relatives", I can assure you that "rich relatives" have no real "motivation" you leave your lazy, bi-polar, schizophrenic ass ANY money.

They *might* however, leave you a trustfund; tightly controlled by a sane, fiscally conservative, anal-retentive banker-type, who expects you to present paperwork to justify the spending of said trustfund money.

See, that's how I could really tell that guy was living in la-la land. :)

casualencounters.com/blog said...

Just had to share this with the world.

Betsy said...

Did he really start this off by saying that he's planning on leaving his contacts in until they fall out of his eyes? Really?

Eeek.

Also, I'm fairly sure that the age of consent is only 16 if both parties are under 18, otherwise it's statutory rape. At least, that's the law in Ohio.

LittleDeadGirl said...

Best comment so far goes to Anastasia with; "He is like the Saddest Unicorn .. " I almost choked on my drink when I read that ... thumbs up ...

agustin96 said...

Maybe he is hoping for someone to help him off his rich relative...

astrothsknot said...

"I want a job so I can weed."

I like ambition in a man

Andi said...

...as I know a good number of us gals seem to live in Michigan, when someone actually sees this "guy" out in public do you wanna do the rest of us a favor and let us know where he lives so we can avoid him like the plague?

Andi said...

"Oh my God, this is in Michigan? Ten bucks it's a product of Muskegon."

At least make the distinction between Ravanna and the rest of Muskegon will you?

And no, an 18 year old boinking a 16 year old is apparently legal.

Anonymous said...

Please tell me that this is a joke. If not, these are sad times we live in.....

Anonymous said...

Awww, Am I the only one who feels real...pity?

PickyBitch said...

I wonder, do we add "pathological liar" to the list of ailments that this guy has??

..nevermind. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Liz said...

I wanted to just say, "Wow."

but it was taken.

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

Hey, I know how to find him a girlfriend!

He needs to get involved in some kind of fandom. That's where all the bipolar, schizophrenic, jobless girls who live with their parents are, and there are 100 girls to every guy at any convention that doesn't involve Star Trek.

CaliGirl9 said...

Psychotropic drugs can be beneficial for some people. That's why chemists make them! This tool needs to be at the front of the line.

Eliwagar said...

Hmm. Usually the guys shown here just make me...want to rip my eyes out and swollow them so they I don´t have to wittness this disaster anymore? With this one I am not sure if he is not really sick..IF he is actually schizophrenic as he claims to be this is just the "normal" schizophrenic behavior. Is there any chance to contact that guy? Oh, no orries. I am sitting over in Germany, so no chance I will be over there to try to get his 6 inch penis up *yikes*

Anonymous said...

I usually stop by your blog for a good laugh, but all I can do is shake my head at this one.

Dusty said...

Dont worry about not having words, this little smooth talker has plenty of them.. Jesus..
And yeah, wtf is going on with his hair??

cattypex said...

'sgotta be fake.

'SGOTTA be.

Alison said...

Suffering from a mental disorder myself, and knowing several people who suffer from bipolar disorder, and having known a few more who were schizophrenic, shit like this really pisses me off.
If he doesn't have them, he's an ass because he's just listing these to sound "cool" and "troubled."
If he does have them he's just sitting on his ass smoking pot and making youtube videos and waiting for his relative to die instead of dealing with it or even trying to deal with it, so he's STILL an ass. However, my bet is on the former, especially with the Dexterish "I don't feel emotions" comment. Just because the show is awesome doesn't mean that'll make you awesome, jackass.
Also, I'd like to beg you all to please not blame the disorders for his assishness; they have nothing to do with it. He's just an ass, all on his own.

Kyla said...

I actually felt sad watching that. That video wasn't funny at all.

Anonymous said...

I just feel sorry for this guy, shit sucks to have no motivation and he has become desperate due to it. Pity is what I have to offer

Anonymous said...

I'm crushed; after seeing that, I had to scratch Michigan off my bucket list . . .

FjordWoman said...

Unfortunatley, his 'list' of skills/troubles [depending upon how one views them] and his infinite chasm of non-motivation
are all too common among dopes his age.
It's us parents, the ones out paying the bills and thinking we need to give our little darlings the best of everything that are producing these creatures and allowing them to live [and I use that term loosely] off of our hard work. Those parents need to stop ALLOWING this shit. Kick his lazy butt out of the basement, force him to stub out the doob,turn of the My Chemical Romance CD, send his underage 'girlfriends' packing,see the light of day,and get a freakin' job...NOW! No more free passes, play times' over, dumb ass.
I have a 17 yr old son, and let me tell you-he'd be out on his tukas quick as lightning if this were him.
Oh, no wait, I actually am doing all I can NOW to prevent this from ever happening.

Moonbrain Mare said...

Aww. I wanna pat him on the head.

And then run away.

And disinfect my hand afterwards.

Nat said...

Part of me wonders if he posted this to AVOID getting a girlfriend... for whatever reason.

Nicki said...

This is actually my ex-boyfriend, I sent a link of this video to another blog because I died laughing when I saw it. Glad that people generally have the same reaction towards creepy losers.

Anonymous said...

I'd LIKE to say that THIS is the most horrifying, disturbing, fucked-up, if-I-had-a-gun-I-would-put-this-shithead-out-of-his-misery, vile, piece of human garbage I have ever had the displeasure to lay my fucking eyes on...unfortunately, thanks to this site I've learned there's always something even worse right around the corner.

Jay said...

Hey now, Fugs, not all members of Fandom are that batshit insane. As a member of a couple, I can honestly say that about.... eighty-five percent of the fans that I've seen are actually quite cool ladies, and I've been in one fandom or another for about eight years. Though, as far as I can tell, he could have his pick of the more... unique females of the species if he goes and starts nattering about *cringes* Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. The not-so-affectionately nicknamed "Twi-twats" would love him long time if he made any connections in there. They'd probably start calling him Edward Cullen or something.

Anonymous said...

I'm...not exactly speechless. I watched this with incense smoke trailing across the screen like he was speaking from the very bowels of hell. I just...This...wow.

I heard my neighbor and her daughters playing outside when I was watching this and then the sound of what might have been four bear traps clanging closed on air before some sicking "POP!" noise. When I asked later it was apparently their vaginas slamming closed in an instinctual, primal self-defense mechanism before actually imploding from fear.

bhm said...

I second the need for someone to contact this kids parents. Did you read his posts (see below). Nothing say massacre and femicide more than racist comments, death threats, decapitated heads, rotting corpses, and blood drinking.
---------------------------
Sunday, December 14, 2008

To the stalker
Current mood:sober damnit

I'm just beyond curious about who you might be. I have a guess. But this is what I'm saying. If you don't comment on this post then you are confirming that you are a little bitch nigger. And little bitch niggers don't know me.

I promise if I see you afterward I will not attempt or succeed to kill you. Although I do have half a mind to. I'd make it personal too... I'd use my teeth.

The taste of your blood sexually excites me.

Oh guess what? My motherfuckin drug dealer was out of weed. So I'm sober and pissed. That's what's got me in this mood.

Anonymous said...

I think I actually don't have the adequate vocabulary to describe how ... revolting this was. I guess he didn't understand the concept of stopping while he was ahead, because with each passing second I felt more and more disgust. This is the first time I've actually crossed my legs in response to one of these posts. The last thing he needs to do is procreate.

wheelin126 said...

I'm with Weasel on this one. I think my brain imploded so I have absolutely nothing to say right now about this....wow I think I know what it's like to be him....nothing absolutely nothing

Unicorn_Power said...

Nothing has inspired me to stay single more than this. Wow.

The Beautiful Kind said...

He reminds me of my brother.

Anonymous said...

I think people need to take in to account that he has Schizophrenia and Bipolar. Schizophrenia is a very disabling illness and can make people come across like this. They don't realise it themselves. So c'mon, show some intelligence people!

By the way I do have a sense of humour and yes this site is hilarious :P

Anonymous said...

That can't be real.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure it is real, and as to whether or not he is mentally ill, I think he could well be.

He sounds like a sad, confused lonely guy.

The one thing that frightens me more than anything else is that I could have a kid like this.

Wish I could take him out for a beer and a blether, try and put a smile on his face, get that weird hair thing cut off and put him right about dating and stuff.

So many guys need an uncle's advice.

SR

Grotesque said...

That was just painful. :<

Anonymous said...

this is terrifying, but I really couldn't pay attention to him due to one hugeass problem:

what the HELL is that thing coming down his face? Is that hair? WTF!!!

noleggio luci said...

It is awesome video footage.I think we should be like them.Really memorable and unforgettable moments are captured in this blog.

The Vincible Man said...

..."you're probably not hot enough to get it up"...ummm. i'm stunned by his Silver Tongue. what's more sad than this kid is that there likely is SOMEONE who WILL respond to his video in a positive, "i'm crazy enough to love even you" sort of way...just read some of the comments on his videos if you don't believe me.

OMGWTFBBQ said...

Oh wow... Had to go look at this kids myspace... and his other videos... *cries* This kid not only makes me fear dating, but fear having children.

ally said...

Is it just me, or does he kind of sound like Seth Rogen?

And is that rat tail in the front like an Asian ponytail, just backwards?

Anonymous said...

o
my
god

I'm sure all the ladies out there tried to track him down when he was kind enough to say, "you can fuck other guys"--I suppose you could do that anyway, but you'll be giving up a million dollars in 20 or 30 or 40 years...

Wow

Anonymous said...

rofl poor guy

Anonymous said...

Morons, it's clearly a huge joke. You people are complete idiots.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, a bipolar person who feels no emotion.. Yeah, THAT makes a lot of sense.

Jannis27 said...

My ex girlfriend left me because I was suffering sexual dysfunction and she told me that's happening by my age. Anyway, I order Generic Sildenafil Citrate three times a week and I got a new woman.

Chantel Ryan said...

Chill out ..Groom and be social and you will be able to court anyone you wish..Different strokes for different folks...Enjoy

Anonymous said...

You can't blame a person for their mental health issues. I have a few myself. But you can blame a person for not at least attempting to do something about it.

Anonymous said...

One can only hope this kid will someday get his Darwin award.

Joe Mama said...

Oh my fucking god!

Firstly, what the hell is that hair or crack or whatever down the front of his face? I'm no expert on women but I bet they probably don't find that attractive.

Secondly, if he's OK with his girlfriend fucking other guys, then why would they want or need him for?

And lastly, there probably aren't that many women out there who would want to share a million dollars for 20-30 years of their life with this loser.

P.S. Dude, advertising that you have no job, live with your parents, and just like to smoke weed are not real good selling points.

Joe Mama said...

Oh yeah, you might want to save the talk about being schizophrenic for later on in the relationship, too.

Bobbie said...

...
Wow. Is it wrong that, as an acting nerd, I watched this and my first thought was "AUGH, WHAT IS WITH THE 'UM'S?!?!?"

Like Guys, Love Self-Deprecating Humor said...

Poor Saddest Unicorn.

Lose the braided devillock/reverse Germs tail, shut up about your contact lenses, and focus on sounding interestingly damaged, not just pathetic. I've seen worse losers than you manage to find girlfriends - if only briefly...

Anonymous said...

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Sara said...

My favorite part was, "I would love to feel love. Love would be cool."

So hilarious.

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ladyhrist said...

Why do I suspect that his mental illnesses are of the fake internet variety? It's like he blindfolded himself, opened a copy of the DSM-IV-TR and threw a dart at the pages a couple of times to see where it landed.

Nurse Youtube, paging Dr. Wikipedia!

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Maggieupgc said...

Why does he want a girlfriend if he has a limp dick? I think the weed is killing his penis!