Show-Off

c*mmmmmmmm

i am a attractive 32 yr old male. I am an exhibitionist, which means i love showing my c*ck off. I am totally addicted to masturbation and being watch, especially by strangers. Sometimes i will go out in my car and drive up to strangers roll down my window and show them my nice c*ck. Sometimes i will masturbate in front of them. I am totally addicted to this and wanting someone who either does the same thing or turned on by this practice. Or maybe i can stand outside your window and i can show you my nice c*ck.

I hate it when women show me their babies. "Look at my baby," they'll command, hurling the infant into my arms like it was on fire. Which, usually, I wish it was, because that way I could drop it without being charged with a crime.

Some guys do the same thing with their cocks. "Look at my cock," they'll squeal like a little girl who just found a pony in the glove compartment, "isn't this such a nice, beautiful cock?" And then they'll pull it out and offer it up for judgement like an intricate origami pterodactyl they took ten hours folding for a regional crafts fair.

Ladies, your baby isn't special. It's a baby. It stinks, makes noise, and has all the intellectual and communication skills of a mountain goat.

Guys, your cock isn't special. It's not an ornate cheese platter to be offered up to everyone passing you at the bus stop. It's a penis. It has a head, a shaft, a road map of veins that looks like an interstate highway map of Los Angeles, and if you're like Chuck, my friend with herpes, every once in a while it looks like a real life volcanic map of the Hawaiian Islands.

In the end, however, I do find cocks and babies are somewhat similar.

Pay them the slightest amount of attention, and they respond by spitting out a thick, bilious bodily fluid onto your favorite sweater.

Thanks for the submission HH.