Thursday, June 25, 2009

More WWHM Coming Up Soon!

WWHM Headquarters has been absolutely besieged with emails begging me to post Mark and his website "Finding My Goddess."

I can't bear to read more than 10 words, but if you have 16 hours to kill, suit yourself. You never know, you could even become a billionaire.

Finding My Goddess

I apologize in advance, but I just couldn't pass this next one up.

Are you a bad person? Change your ways, or you might have to spend your next life as an ottoman in this house. Trust me, watch at least two minutes. If you can stand it.




Someone please test that ottoman for herpes.

Lastly, for the two or three of you that might be interested, Janak from sex-oriented blog casualencounters.com recently interviewed WWHM, and you can find the results here. We'll see you soon! -The Weasel

154 comments:

Anonymous said...

WTF??....

Anonymous said...

ditto

Lone Wolf said...

I feel really disturbed and icky. That poor ottoman must have been Hitler in a previous life. I can't think of anything else bad enough to warrant this abuse!

Forget the Febreze - get a flame-thrower.

Anonymous said...

The Goddess website is. . .interesting. Um, he requires her to be hot, to be trim, to have hair of her own (DOWN TO HER SHOULDERS AT LEAST, DAMMIT). Yet this guy is no clone of Brad Pitt, FFS.

Why is it that middle-aged, balding guys expect to find young hot women as girlfriends?

Lone Wolf said...

Re: Goddess dude. Yeah, right. He's EXPECTING a huge fortune (any day now) ... he has an UNPUBLISHED book ... he tried to get his teaching methods out there, but was THWARTED by THE MAN ... he is totally separated from the "world" but wants to have TWO MANSIONS.

Plus - at 58 he's still living in an apartment and has at least one divorce behind him.

So, to summarize, he's an unsuccessful divorcee living in an apartment who wants to find a hot woman to "surrender" to him. Good luck with that.

blackwolf87 said...

Hey Lone Wolf, when you're done with that flame thrower on the ottoman, can I borrow it? After seeing that I no longer want eyeballs. :/

Hjorrdis said...

ROFL!!! The first 30 seconds on that video my mouth was just hanging open at the audacity of it all. However, after one or two of those extremely silly boys slid off that ottoman in various, absolutely hilarious ways.... ROFL!!! You should all watch it again and focus on the way they leave the scene, or what they do once they get off that poor ottoman.

Oh, and they said at the very in "Chorographed by..." which is obviously a misspelling, and how to you choreograph something that bad?

ROFL.

Lone Wolf said...

blackwolf97 - I'll send the flamethrower your way. I've already run my eyes through the "Power Scrub Plus" setting in the dishwasher. As you might expect from that level of visual atrocity - it had no effect. Alas.

Dusty said...

LMAO!!!
Who in their right minds would post something like that online AND PUT THEIR NAMES ON IT?!

Off to check out the website now..

battyjeri said...

... Ottoman gangbang? WTF? I guess the ottoman is the "W" in "WTF"

Cats said...

umm...lol? Seriously, can't stop laughing. Sure, I pity the poor ottoman, but is this supposed to be sexy or what? A worm on a hook would be proud to produce a "dance" like this...


As for the creepy worshipper guy? I would run from the room screaming if I met him. Luckily chances are veeeery slim, as I am the opposite of almost everything he wants in a woman (and I am NOT willing to change, even for him). What a pity, he's such a winner...

Andrea said...

"A goddess is NOT a scientologist."

Well, he's got a point there.

shelley said...

@ the video, WTF? Do they think that is attractive? Laughable, yes. Attractive, not in a million years. I'd love to see what happens if their mothers see it. hehe. Grounded for a month?

Anonymous said...

Why did those guys run a train on that poor ottoman?! Can't that video be used as evidence in their gang rape prosecution? Justice for the ottoman!

Dusty said...

That goddess website creeped me the hell out.. That man must be mentally ill!
A dating profile with a table of contents? I really need to try that out sometime.. At least I'd know that my date could read..
His business is 'on the brink of world wide success'? Yeah, I've heard that one before..
His political manifestation made me giggle.. Let's all move into the light, people! Apparently thats the place to be!
All of chapter 3 really had me in tears from laughing.. At least he's an optimist - I'll give him that!
On a positive note, a life long relationship with that old fart would probably last about 2 years before he chokes on a carrot while chanting... Freakshow...

agustin96 said...

Bwhahahahahaha! So you think you can Dance dance dance... What a stupid video... I can't figure out the purpose... is it a dance??? They all abuse the ottoman the same way until the two strike out on their own with a little doggy action.

Cats said...

ps.: the poor ottoman won't know who the father is...and that will be some really ugly baby...

Xavier said...

Last time I checked, if you're experimenting with things you can fuck, you don't put it on the internet for everyone to see. As I saw the pictures, I was thinking, "what's this?" but as soon as they starting to hump the ottoman, I clicked the little "x" at the top.

As for princess boy. I bet you he's a very lonely person, and tells his shrink he's depressed because women don't answer his ad.

Batgirl said...

I'm with you Dusty. At least the internet can be somewhat anonymous... but FULL NAMES? Bad idea.

And now I have eye herpes from watching that--time to get the bleach.

Christy said...

Why is it that middle-aged, balding guys expect to find young hot women as girlfriends?

Because they watch too much porn? And I guess 58 is 'middle-aged' by today's standards, but eew.

A computer scientist with a god complex. Just what the world needs. He wants a hot, trim, former prostitute who meditates for hours a day. He's in LA, he might find such a thing, but I can't believe one would STAY for any amount of time.

I think my favorite part was "I'm not a lawyer, but I could pass the bar." Yeah, I bet you pass plenty of bars on the way home where your 'goddess' could be lurking.

Berlin said...

I like how those guys were showing off their "moves", but they couldn't even remain on a stationary object. What would they do with a real woman, that moves around during the process? I mean, I know I don't just stay completely still during sex. I can just imagine them falling off of the bed...

Also, the interview is awesome, Weasel.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! The vid had me cringing I couldn't watch it all.. maybe it was a joke ?!
---
That Personal Ad website gave me the heebee jeebees. He'll lock you up in his closet next to his latex gimp masks and restraints! Runnnnnn!

Annapolitan said...

ICK to both of these. Actually that ottoman rape thing had me laughing out loud in abject horror and embarrassment. Is this the new video personals?

Does anyone else think that Mr. Goddess Seeker is just waaaaay too into his own head?

There are no words to express HOW MUCH I hate to read the "I'll give you so many orgasms you lose count" line in personal ads. Something tells me this is code for "I have a small dick."

Electric Eclectic said...

On the website, just skip to 3.6; Sexuality.

Its the best bit, its just.. outrageous. ROFL!!

Anonymous said...

What a bitch pig he is.

jumper said...

Where's the barf bag??? OHG - not just the poor ottoman, but the floor...


*EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*

tatjna said...

That guy meditates 2 hours a day for 35 years and is still that egotistical? He's doing it wrong.

clara said...

oh my god. that video was crazy. the boys just kept on coming lol and how is them humping an ottoman suppossed to turn me on? and don't even get me started on their names.

and the goddess man has WAY too much time on his hands. i love how these gross old guys think that hot young ladies are going to respond to their websites. people are pathetic

Dori said...

That takes "disturbed" to a whole new level. Nasty...

Anonymous said...

"Huge heart that loves unconditionally" ... in a meticulously crafted 6000+ word ad with very detailed "goddess" requirements. And a table of contents.

I do not think the phrase "unconditional love" means what he thinks it means.

I'm a former prostitute with a trim wasitline and hair down to my shoulders -- but I'm NOT "appalled by the results of the famous Milgram Experiment." There goes my shot at hooking up with a billionaire in the making.

Rdallyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Persnickety Ticker said...

I was watching and waiting for the ottoman hump train to derail or for one of those guys to not get off the ottoman quick enough before another got on.

Um...awkward.

Shandra said...

Wow, did anyone see at the bottom where it says "Copyright © 2008 by The Angelic Realm of Intellectual Substance, all rights reserved."?

I sort of feel sorry for people who are so detached from real life. He really has no idea that what he wants from a woman completely contradicts who he is.

G.H. said...

mmm.. cool interview Weasel.

http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Heh. Goddess dude--if you want a gold-digging trophy wife, you have to become a billionaire first. It doesn't work to say "I'll be a billionaire in a few years," because even the most lackwitted among us know you're full of it.

I'd like to order up my own tailor-made boyfriend designed to my detailed specifications, but somewhere along the line--probably around middle school?--I discovered that people are people, none of them are perfect, and none of them were put on this earth just to satisfy my needs. Bummer.

The Crossroads said...

Hm yeah... not sure what to say to that video other than "WTF." Lol.

Hjorrdis said...

Every time I try to read more of the goddess thing, since so many of you seem to find it amusing, I want to puke. I can't get through it. It just won't happen.

Anonymous said...

All I could think of re: humping the ottoman, was, "I can't even get a five-person committee to agree on an ink color for our newsletter. How did these people ever find each other?"

Anonymous said...

That video was hilarious, when the different guys were going past the camera they looked like sea anemones or something.

So much for their "smooth moves", if I was one of their perspective partners I'd be giggling the entire time.

Anonymous said...

Hey Weasel the Interview with the Casualencounters bloke was very interesting. I really like how you set about writing an article but I have to agree with the fact that you are way too hard on yourself.

Anonymous said...

Re: the totally creepy Goddess guy.

Now when the cops find his Goddess chained in a closet after five wrenching years of enslavement and torture, WE'LL ALL BE WITNESSES.

I feel used.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I was totally into Goddess guy until I realized he didn't post his astro sign.

Loser.

sid2580 said...

I am hearing a funny song. It sounds like "you can leave your hat on" but it think this version is "you can leave your socks on"

It's just gross. Doesn't turn me on at all! No moist, no tingle, just yuck!

Queen_of_the_Serpents said...

Website: I read some of it, but my head started spinning before I got through the table of contents. >_<

Video: ...Wow. I guess they were reeeeeaaalllly high.

Anonymous said...

guys, when you want to get your sexy on...please leave out the baggy shorts that you have to keep pulling up *and* the socks with the little fluffy balls on the back. - signed, the ottoman

casualencounters.com/blog said...

I think I'd seen the video before, but thanks for forcing me to relive the horror.

That "personals" website was hilariously painful, though. I honestly couldn't get more than a few paragraphs in before the face stabbing started.

DothNotWisdomCryOut said...

The guy who wants to 'find' his 'goddess' makes me want to 'find' my way as far away as possible.

A personal ad with a TABLE OF CONTENTS indicates supreme ass-hatery.

And am I the only one who noticed that the ONLY two things that are non-negotiable are having a 'very trim' waistline and having long hair?

Walk On said...

Believe it or not, that is a form of "dancing" in some circles.

The women bend over, stick their ass out and gyrate while a guy humps against them. Or sometimes they both end up on the floor dry humping away.

This is actually considered "cool" by some people.

I think it falls under "pathetic".

emrlddragon said...

Do they really think they are being sexy or are they high?

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

That poor defenseless ottoman! What did it ever do to them?

Jen

Maya said...

Those furniture humping....creatures have just left me in complete shock.

I was just on the findingmygoddess site. The guy is clearly a nut. My favorite part is "She is NOT a Scientologist"
Lol, so even lunatics don't want anything to do with Scientology. XD
I love that.

Mara said...

Great interview, Weasel. I can completely relate to the problem of hating everything you write; I write strictly for fun and mostly my own amusement, and I am NEVER happy with it.
I can't wait until your first book is published. I will be first in line on the book tour waiting to get my copy autographed.

hellkell said...

I couldn't get more than a 1/4 through that hogwash. It does go towards proving my theory that white, upper middle class men who are into Buddhism are complete and utter jackasses. YMMV.

Khazar said...

That skanky ottoman was totally asking for it.

Anonymous said...

I...no. Please tell me that the video was actually brilliant satire.

Please.

(Also, good casualencounters interview, Weasel. I am starting to suspect that you are actually a total creep trying to win as many women's hearts as possible. Either that or you're one of the most attractive men--or people--on the planet.)

Anonymous said...

By the way, what is it with men and tantric sex? I occasionally hear a guy bragging about how he can last for hours or whatever doing tantric sex, but I've never heard a woman express a desire for such a partner. The thought of a guy going at it for an hour or more makes me think (1) BORING, and (2) OUCH. 'Cause the woman is going to get awfully sore. Yeah, we can have multiple orgasms, but they decrease markedly in intensity the more we have. I admit it's a little unsatisfying when a guy comes too soon, but at least it's flattering--I can tell he's really attracted to me. If a guy lasted a really long time with me, I'd wonder if he were gay or just wasn't that into me.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how many "responses" his personal ad is getting now that it's garnered the popularity he so craves.

I'm half tempted to craft a fake response myself. Asshat.

Anonymous said...

uh..? What!!? um.. maybe it's like interpretive dancing, and they really are trying to be sea anenomes.. or bacteria or something? I was more disturbed by the guys "dancing" in the background than the guy actually humping the couch. And the fact that at least 2 of them looked about 12. Damn. I feel dirty after watching that.

IGiveUp said...

Oh, please, please SOMEBODY (or several somebodies) craft a perfect reply to this guy's ad, just to hook Mr. Tantric Sex into a correspondence. PLEASE. I don't know a thing about meditation or any of the spiritual stuff he writes about, but there's gotta be someone out there who talks the talk and is willing to engage this guy just for the laughs.

Don't you just LOVE that, in your reply to him (with the mandatory accompanying photos which clearly show your figure) you are allowed to ask The Master one or more questions?

Mine would be "How small IS your dick?"

Sophie said...

Re: the godess hunter

while there are numerous aspects of his approach that you may agree or dissagree with, ultimately I find it impossible to reconcile his disire to find someone who transcends material thoughts and is as "spiritual" as he, yet places such unconditional restrictions on appearance and figure.

Vanessa Tanith VanAlstyne said...

I like how "enlightnement" still hasn't made it to where he can see past people's physical appearances...

but you know, i'm sure a bald old goat who's mad as a shit house rat will have a really easy time finding a hippy love goddess...matter of fact i'm gonna hold his breath till he does.. i'm sure i won't die.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely a great website! Keep them coming!

http://stuffblackpeopledontlike.blogspot.com/

Dino said...

"By the way, what is it with men and tantric sex? I occasionally hear a guy bragging about how he can last for hours or whatever doing tantric sex, but I've never heard a woman express a desire for such a partner. The thought of a guy going at it for an hour or more makes me think (1) BORING, and (2) OUCH. 'Cause the woman is going to get awfully sore. Yeah, we can have multiple orgasms, but they decrease markedly in intensity the more we have. I admit it's a little unsatisfying when a guy comes too soon, but at least it's flattering--I can tell he's really attracted to me. If a guy lasted a really long time with me, I'd wonder if he were gay or just wasn't that into me."

Listen. Even gays don't enjoy hours of pounding. There comes a threshold, where it's like "are you fucking me, or just humping away for the sake of it?"

I call your attention to section 3.7:

"Gallant. INTENSELY romantic. Perfect gentleman.

Flamboyant!"

Uh. Clearly. Also, read the amount of times it says fabulous. Mary done outed herself real quick.

Anonymous said...

My favorite part of the Godawful Goddess site?

She QUESTIONS so-called "authority" and HATES the concept of "blind obedience to authority."

And yet, she is expected to be extremely religious. Hmmmmmm...

Big Hick said...

What.. The HELL was that??

I feel like burning that poor thing..

Anonymous said...

"My favorite part of the Godawful Goddess site?

'She QUESTIONS so-called "authority" and HATES the concept of "blind obedience to authority.'

And yet, she is expected to be extremely religious. Hmmmmmm..."

Well religion is a mixed bag with a lot of different ways to engage it. It's more like, and yet she is expected to be totally obedient to ME, MR. CRAZY. lolololol, what a loser he is.

dukie said...

Da love man ain't so trim waisted hissef!

nikki said...

I had No idea that God and sex were closely linked! In this guys case though I guess it goes something like this...Oh my God are you bald, Or...Jesus Christ you actually think I would fuck you? Or...Shove your Goddamn table of contents up your ass.

Geans said...

"If she has been a prostitute, that is GOOD!!!"

Oh, man. Both entertaining and thoroughly creepy. Why women hate men, indeed.

Anonymous said...

Good God!! I had to switch off Ottomon after his first slow-moving epileptic spasm. And as for Goddess man..... his picture was terrifying. I barely got into meat (nudge, nudge) because of his overuse of quotations. I can just picture him doing air-quotes while drooling over his imaginary girlfriend. >_<

Lynda said...

I cant believe the guys in the ottoman video used their real names at the end. I did snicker when the one in the white shorts had to put them up a few times, and whats up with the knot in the back of the wife beater shirt?

As far as Mark goes... I believe he missed his woman... That would be Joan of Ark... we all know what happened to her! He's just a little late on that one...

Josh said...

@Andrea:
you're certainly right about his scientology comment!



and also, these old men give us young men a bad name!!

dites_moi_ou_pas said...

WOW. Just wow.

dites_moi_ou_pas said...

Well, a lover who gang-bangs furniture is always my #1 desire.

Also, what do they think they're fucking? A woman with an extractable vagina? Who in the hell thinks your pelvis can extend backwards a radius of two feet so that you can "pound" your penis into her? Pleasurably, no less.

Virgins, that's who. Eternal virgins, no less.

Mara said...

Mr. Global Visionary Goddess Seeker notes he was married for 17 years but is now divorced. I'll just bet. It took a woman 17 years and 3 kids' worth of sex to figure out that she didn't want him anymore?

Wish she'd put her 2 cents in here, but she's probably too embarrassed. Don't fucking blame her.

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

From the Goddess site:

>>She loves others unconditionally, meaning that even if they impose a "condition" of rejecting or betraying or harming her, she keeps loving them anyway.... her mature love cannot sour into hatred.<<

Do you think he has an ex or two who wants to shoot him? I want to shoot him and I haven't even met him!

Mary said...

that poor ottoman is going to end up on a show like this:

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/091906/LOVE-SEAT.gif

robyn said...

At least Mark, the billionaire to be, doesn't seem to specify his Goddess-to-be's age. But alas, it'd never work--I love rock music and have too many pets. Ah well.
9_9

cattypex said...

"She QUESTIONS so-called "authority" and HATES the concept of "blind obedience to authority."

And yet, she is expected to be extremely religious. Hmmmmmm..."

Not to mention HE gets to choose where they go out & stuff. Probly buys ALL the clothes and decides when and where she will wear them....

I dated this dude, total loser, but his HORRIBLE website had a Love Resume. Oh, and he had this Gamine Belly Dancer fetish. He told me my boobs were too big.

So, like Mr. Goddess Seeker, he has to turn in his Man Card NOW. And sorry, cuz you need a Man Card in order to obtain a Vadge Pass.

(Really, how can you unconditionally love someone and yet demand all that physical criteria? Whatever happened to "warts and all"? Plus, he looks eerily like Jeffrey Tambor. How come none of his photos show anything other than him?

LA is the only place where "enlightenment" requires plastic surgery I guess....

Mara said...

To our great misfortune, Mark the Goddess Seeker hath spawned 3 times. Proof that the gene for jackassery would be coupled with the one for sterility in a fair world.

Dee said...

I showed the "Goddess" site to my bf, and his response was, "People like that need friends."

I am in complete agreement.

Anonymous said...

Here's a link to the goddess guy's revolutionary computer business: http://angelbase.com/

By "holistically integrating" "computer elements" and investing in "hearts", you'll destroy capitalism. Or something.

Jingle said...

WOW: No other words to say!!!!!

zyzz said...

Jeez, I probably don't meet 1/10 of the goddess guy's requirements, and I'm still way out of his league. What beautiful, spiritual, horny, intelligent, saintly actress (if such exists) would date a sexist, aging divorcee who hates spending time with puppies? I love how he adds that he "falls in love easily" at the end. LOL.

Anonymous said...

The only good thing I can say about that video is AT LEAST it did not take place with a toddler watching!

cattypex said...

OMFG.... a geek angel cult opportunity!

WTF is a "sacred" investment process?

Oooo, the flow chart goes right back to CULT/SCAM!!!!

lamexicanita86 said...

I am pleased to say that I watched the whole damn video. This is why I stay away from young black guys.

AbrashTX said...

At first the goddess megalomaniacal control freak was making me laugh, but then I started reading stuff like this and got creeped out.

"It means if we are at a restaurant and I am hungry and you are busy talking, that when our food finally arrives you realize that YOU must take the first bite, and by ignoring your food as you keep yacking away you are making me starve!"

Wha???? =:o

AbrashTX said...

he is the priest, she is his altar

Also: he doesn't want a woman, he wants a TABLE!

Bella said...

unfuckinbelievable! ick!!!

cattypex said...

I looove how he is so enlightened and Buddhaish...

...and yet so fixated on the external and temporary.

I wonder if he divorced Goddess #1 because she got fat?

Remember, dude, if you're into Goddess-worship, you get the whole deal: Maiden, Mother AND Crone.

Dr DR said...

nice paraphillia there lmfao

Anonymous said...

First, the video: I laughed so hard I cried. I bet they are about 17 years old. I liked the way they "danced" out of the frame. That was about the gayest thing I've ever seen. What were they thinking?? Can you imagine being the girl/ottoman in this gang bang? With these morons gyrating around you? So hilarious!

As for the seeker of the Goddess, what a loser. I have a trim waist, long hair, former prostitute and took and passed the bar.I actually have a career unlike Mr. Dreamer. I would rather "be the ottoman" with the dumb kids than even have dinner with this pathetic loser, even if it meant that I could enjoy myself by continuing to talk even after our food arrived so I could watch him writhe in hunger waiting for me to take the first bite.

CaliGirl9 said...

If that video wasn’t satire, it sure could push me over the ledge to become a lesbian.

Because there was nothing sexy about any of that—scrawny little boy bodies humping that poor innocent ottoman. If only they’d humped each other …

Their parents must be so proud!

Raven said...

I have a mantra I'm chanting right now.

It's "Thank goddess I became a lesbian".

Guys like these are why.

Anonymous said...

What? Why?! Why would you...why would you take video of that? AND THEN POST IT ON YOUTUBE?

What has to be going through your head to think "yes, I'll film myself in a gang bang of my furniture and stick it up on the internet for all to see, with my name attached"?

Also: these guys have so clearly never had their penises anywhere near anything not inanimate, other than their own hands. It doesn't work like that, boys...

Louise said...

"She is in excellent health, although she may have some minor health issues she is working on."

...wha?...like, "I'm really sorry I'm not in 100% perfect bouncing health, but I'm taking my vitamins and I'm trying to get better...plesae don't reject me...I'm working on it!"?

Because there are so many people out there with 'health issues' who don't TRY to get better and make them go away. Mmmmno.

araispoetry said...

I'm... so confused. They were quite happily humping a couch... on video... in front of each other!

I... uh... what??

araispoetry said...

Ok, I just tried to read some of the "goddess" website.

And, dude, what if his KIDS read that?

Also, it smacks of ideas of cult-leading, which I am not impressed by.

And, dude, that site has been running for ages, unsuccessfully... there's a surprise.

Also... he is so OLD. When is he going to acheive all this crap?

CaliGirl9 said...

I decided to spend a little time with Mr. Finding My Goddess.

What a tool! There are a few men currently on earth who could get away with compiling such a list and having women seriously respond.

None look like he does.

I'm thinking George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, Robert Pattinson (well okay he's a little young, but if a girl's gonna go all cougar, why not really go cougar?) might be able to make demands.

This dude needs to be grateful for whatever he can get. There are way too many things that "Drain his energy."

What an overinflated sense of self-worth. I predict he will die alone and bitter and still in his apartment.

Fo Buddha said...

If he thinks Buddhahood should lead to mansions, he's going to be really surprised about what happens with his next life. It seems to me that he doesn't have a clue about Buddhism or life.

I don't even want to get into his obvious attachment to other things physical. Also, Tantra is not something that is regularly practiced by just anyone in true Buddhism. From what I have read, it can be a fast path to enlightenment, but it will be bad for most people as it is easily abused (like..come here little girl, let the creepy old man show you how sex is magic!). He doesn't know what he is even talking about.

I am no Buddhism expert, but this guy is just wrong on so many levels. I can't stand people who are condescending of the TV. It just shows that he is someone who lives in his own little bubble and refuses to listen to the outside world at all. After all, he has divine guidance, why should he?

This is obviously a way for him to find some young, hot, dreamy-eyed ex-prostitute with a bachelor's degree that he can brainwash and manipulate. I think it's more of a fantasy that will probably never happen. However, I think that in my hanging with the hippies phase, I may have met a few girls who would fall for this crap.

I should have more compassion for him, but I can't help but feel a bit of disgust for his arrogance and his using spirituality as a platform to get rich and take over the world with LIGHT. UGH! How disturbing!

genaeve said...

Goddess man sounds like a total control freak. "You must be hot, NO EXCEPTIONS. You must have a trim waist, or be dedicated to trimming it down for me. NO EXCEPTIONS. You must have natural, shoulder-length hair, or be dedicated to growing it out for me. NO EXCEPTIONS"....

Michelle said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Synchronized Sexin'!!! It's disturbing to me that these guys just keep popping up in the video and are all getting their "thang on" together. Maybe...just maybe they were all sitting around having a good time...maybe playing a little xbox and smoking a joint or two when one of them found these pills and they all took them to be funny. Lo and behold it was viagra...or ecstasy.

Canadian Girl said...

omg that is hilarious.
Its a confusing orgy of black men dry humping the air.
And I thought it would be just one crazy fuck, but no, they just kept coming and coming and cumming (?) lol.
Oh yes, this will definitely attract the women, as well as the circus freaks. Hey there you got sum nice moves for a fella haha.
Imagine them practicing this insane skit. Okay so I go and grind up on the ottoman, and then I will roll off lazily when you come in, then you swerve and dry hump that ottoman like a perv.
lovely.
<3

cattypex said...

OMGOMGOMG I finally had to watch the video...

Are they auditioning for a stripper act???

Their pants keep falling down... and they just sort of walk around.... undulating themselves around an unfurnished room.

I love it when that one kid watches himself in the mirror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow.

I hope that vid. made it around their HS and all the girls laughed and laughed.

cattypex said...

And I *thought* that goddess man looked kind of familiar...

He looks like the creepy uncle your momma warned you to stay away from, btw.

In fact, he reminds me of Prosperity Christians.... that God-given sense of entitlement....

Anonymous said...

Everyone, check out the new updates on the "goddess guy" site. He includes a note for people who engage in ridicule. More hilarity!

cattypex said...

Wow. Maybe he could stick "ridicule" into that paragraph a few more times....

And if he is such a Computer Genius, then how come he can't make his lame Table of Contents into some links? I had to scroll down the whole damn self-absorbed thing.

Men who call women "ladies" all the time are usually douchebags.

Let me paraphrase Schoepenhaur.

"All douchitude passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed,
second it is violently opposed, and
third, it is accepted as self-important bullshit."

El-Mango said...

Just read the Goddess thing................oh dear sweet jesus...July 2009 and he STILL HASN'T FOUND HIS GODDESS fancy that. He looks like an old man from viagra commercials...

Wickystix said...

omg the goddess thing is ridiculous and just sad. He really thinks he's going to find someone who fits all those qualities?

His overuse of all caps also makes me want to vomit.

Kristin said...

the "goddess man" has updated his site as a result of all the traffic coming his way via this site ;P

"New Section Added on July 7, 2009 Regarding the Status of This Web Site and the Replies I have Received.

He used to get 150 or so hits a month, 2000 for the year... then got 100,000 in 2 weeks ahahahah!
then he goes on to talk about how now he is certain to find his goddess and quotes some philosopher blah blah blah

pitbull friend said...

I have to say that the goddess guy amused me until I realized that he's probably seriously mentally ill. I'm guessing he was a math teacher until he seriously cracked up(a.k.a. thwarted by the Man) and was put on disability. Lawyers hire him to put Light into their work? Um, yeah. His children probably humor him by telling him that they will help him with his "business" scheme. Sometimes that's the only way to get these folks to chill out. (Besides psychotropic drugs, that is.)

The note to ridiculers actually fits with this. In the amazing book The Three Christs of Ypsilanti, a psychiatrist for the Michigan mental health system got three men with delusions of being Christ transfered to the same psych hospital. He wanted to see whether two of them would snap out of it. Instead, each one became more firmly convinced he was Christ and that the other two were imitating him! Kind of sounds like this guy, except that he has taken the New Age-y route of carelessly dabbled religions rather than the more common Judeo-Christian delusions one usually sees among the North American mentally ill. Funny/sad stuff.

wheelin126 said...

OMFG!!! I didn't know if was possible to be that horrified yet able to have my sides hurt so much from laughing so damn hard at the very same time...Thanks weasel your blog is very self-educating. I have learned that one can actually do that and being able to snort and gag at the same time while shooting whatever you're drinking at the time all over the keyboard/computer.

wheelin126 said...

AbrashTX said...
he is the priest, she is his altar

Also: he doesn't want a woman, he wants a TABLE!

Maybe he would be willing to settle for a umm well err used ottoman?? LMAO!!!

Anonymous said...

What I want to see is a video of what happened before this video. I want to see how Pipelayer, C2X, and their ilk gathered together and proposed to collaborate in a video where they gyrated wildly around a small room, getting very close to each other, and demonstrating how to hump an ottoman. I imagine it would be pretty enlightening.

Anonymous said...

"Why is it that middle-aged, balding guys expect to find young hot women as girlfriends?" - -

For the same reasons that fat ugly women grab my ass, write me letters about how they'll "do anything I want if I go out with them", and occasionally stalk me. This is not a behavior that is unique to men. Women can also have a hard time discovering their worth. Desperation amongst women can be just as pathetic a thing to behold as well. But I guess that would be better served on a WMHW blog.

elffire78 said...

Wow, cause nothing says "total turn-on" like a bunch of dudes gang-banging a poor, defenseless ottoman... :(

Btw Weasel, love the interview!! :)

....though I must say, you don't give yourself nearly enough credit you actually deserve.

weeona said...

"My favorite part of the Godawful Goddess site?

She QUESTIONS so-called "authority" and HATES the concept of "blind obedience to authority."

And yet, she is expected to be extremely religious. Hmmmmmm..."


Bingo! That was my first thought, too. 'Course I'm an outspoken atheist jackass. Heh. Oh sad, I can't be a goddess.

I guess I'll take my pet rats, my cat and my desire for sex not to cause my crotch to burst into flame after hours of seemingly endless pounding and go cry somewhere. Boo hoo.

Anonymous said...

That video might have had potential if they had been humping each other instead of the ottoman. Also, where I come from, laying pipe means taking a dump.

Anonymous said...

That Goddess website just screams "CONTROLLER! ABUSER!!! RUNJANERUN!!!"

I hate to tell that poor fool, but there is NO woman on this earth that will meet ALL those criteria..no way.

I feel sorry for the one he settles on though....

Susy said...

I would give my tits for 10 minutes with the ex-wife mentioned in that delusional man-boy's navel-gazing masturbatory rant. Holy crap.

Anonymous said...

You know what this video reminds me of? Ever seen an unnuetered chihuahua that you just can't keep off peoples legs?

Sarah Elizabeth said...

Awesome interview! I can't imagine you NOT becoming published one day!

The simulated one-sided sex in the video makes me think of beached whales, slowly dying on the dry sand and painfully trying to get back into the ocean.

As for the Finding My Goddess link...holy snap. I am a firm believer that people should get what they want out of a relationship, but a table of contents listing requirements and demands? And this is before you factor in the results of the half-assed photo shoot, which is littered throughout the web page.

Hogwash Times said...

Seeing as I am up at 4 am with a migraine, I figured I'd just cruise some of my fave blogs and pass the time since I can't sleep. I read the Goddess website first from today's post.

I was honestly going to respond, but then I watched the ottoman video and realized that unfortunately the Psycho-Goddess guy had been edged out on the Perfect-Man-O-Meter by a group of adolecents humping furniture. Oh well, his loss. But, on the upside, at least they posted their names so I can Google them and see if I can get a date. After all, what woman could resist men with skills like that?

ROFLMAO, Thanks Weasel. I really didn't think anything could make me laugh this AM as badly as my head aches. Also, great job on the interview. :)

Mishar said...

I don't get disgusted.. well ever. I'm COMPLETELY disturbed by that whole video and usually I would laugh to such things but this is one of those few times when you sort of chuckle and think.. oh God if only my laugh would break up the tension I've just created within myself!

As for Mark who's looking for his Goddess.. I don't have time to read all that but pre-reqs section that i purposely scrolled down to see is just brilliant LOL

Anonymous said...

would i have been less confused and disgusted if i'd watched it with the sound on?
i don't think i'll be having sex for a few months now. yuck

Karen said...

Ommmmmmmmm.....
(chanting to regain my innocence after viewing video and reading the WHOLE goddess-freak post)

Karen said...

Dang, weasel, hope you are ok
After reading that scenario someone wrote in about the mental patient luring you in, I got worried. Not like you to leave us all hanging (pun totally intended)
Hope all is well.

rozydesouza said...

I was playing games online however for reading this post more interesting thanks for the share please do keep it going great job....Loveing this.

Cheers,

___________________
rozy
Increase your brand popularity overnight

C said...

What.just.happened? Ok, why has nobody mentioned/questioned the relevance of all the "Peer Pressure" business in the intro to ottoman-ravaging? Is that what peer pressure makes you do? Is this a "take that, peer pressure" revolt? Is that the name of their CREW?

Wow. When advertising goes wrong- in both cases!

Props to anonymous for unearthing Goddess man's real website, angelbase.com, where we can all be awed by the enormity of his vision and certainty of his (still-future) material success. I think he's got something against commas, terrible artwork is central to his plan for dominating the world with light, and could it be! -a possible pyramid scheme.

samantha said...

PLFM up tomorrow hopefully, but if you guys were smart you stopped listening to my worthless posting promises a long time ago.

Samantha
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Anonymous said...

That's repulsive and absolutely disgusting.

As is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7pqt-CkpRI&feature=channel_page

Elisa said...

Note that they all keep their socks on... I've always preferred the much-improved version here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHdvruqZwz4

Anonymous said...

OMFG He found a vict.... err, a "lady"



...in Europe.

wakemenow said...

Wow. Just wow.

What a ridiculous video. :P

Wendy said...

And they were dumb enough to put their real names in the credits?? WTF...

shikishinobi said...

Is this what you get when you mix T-virus, Spanish Fly, viagra and black muisc? What worries me is that when these... children... realise thier plan didn't create as much want as desired, they might turn to gangrape.
The other thing that is probably more aluring to other gay men excluding myself, is that all these guys look like they are being ass-raped by a haunt of ghosts. Good enough for me.

Caramarie said...

wtf. yup, this ottoman WAS Hitler in its past life, this is so horrible!

supermandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

that video, though disturbingly hilarious, reminded me of an incident in high school. a friend of mine worked at the photo counter in our local pharmacy. she called us all over one day to show us some photos she had stolen. photos of this group of boys we knew. nude. holding basketballs and footballs in front of their junk. each stared into the camera with "sexy" faces. some of the pics were outside, night shots. my girlfriends and i had never laughed so hard in our lives- and we couldn't say a thing to the boys or my friend would get fired for making the extra copies...WHAT were they thinking? what was the intent? WTF?!

Sarah said...

I was directed to the "Finding My Goddess" website through a message board, and it totally creeped me out. Just thinking about that weirdo made me feel squicky.

One day, I was incredibly bored so I tracked down the site again, and... Too bad ladies, he's found his Goddess. Against all odds.

Lolo said...

Oh, Oh Oh...Eye bleach, someone help I'm traumatized! That was just awfull. Oh God, excuse me while I move to a nunnery.

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