Monday, July 6, 2009

Zipperworm Escapes on NYC Subway

Man, WWHM seriously loves our devoted readers.

Today, longtime WWHM reader LM shares with us a lovely photograph she took during a recent trip home on the New York City subway system.

Seems LM, like most people, was minding her own business playing a game on her cellphone.

When she looked up, however, she found this strapping young assclam staring at her intently with, of course, his dick hanging out of his pants.

Rather than freak out, LM did the right thing.

She snapped a photo and sent it in to WWHM, where we will gladly post it for all to see.

Needless to say, he panicked and ran off the subway at the very next stop.

But no worries, my friend, because we've captured your beautiful moment in time forever!

And boy would it suck if your boss found out! On that note, if you know this guy, where he works or where he lives, email us and we'll gladly post all of his information as a matter of public interest.

Or, in the case of his dick, public disinterest.

LM posted her experience on Craigslist and also sent it to our friends over at Gawker.com, so now her story, and his cock, are going national. If you'd like to see the uncensored photos, you can find his glorious kielbasa posted right here.

Thanks LM!

***Update: This is turning into a serial flasher case. Many NYC women reporting this guy has flashed them in the past. I smell blood.***

207 comments:

1 – 200 of 207   Newer›   Newest»
Indigo Moose said...

Hahahaha, this is brilliant! It just made my morning

RebelJubilee said...

Weasel, thank you for putting the bow there. It is much appreciated on my first day home from vacation. I think I forgot where the brain bleach had gotten to.

Weasel said...

LM put it there, so thank you LM.

Weasel said...

You know me Rebel, the last thing I would have replaced it with is a little ribbon.

I would have used a hamster.

Or a yak head.

Or a mouse turd.

Or an ugly chicken (as opposed to an attractive chicken).

danbala said...

Heehehe. :)

Fhtrkstr101 said...

LM, your post on craigslist was funny, read it on the link. Thanks for sending that in.

Weasel, it was wonderful to get another small post.

Batgirl said...

They removed the Craigslist posting, I find that kind of funny.

Kate Black said...

I hope she sent this to the cops as well.

Anonymous said...

There's a website devoted to calling out these asshats: www.hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/

cattypex said...

THAT IS AWESUM AND FULL OF WIN.

I will teach my daughter to do that.

BTW, my grandma always called it a "worm."

"Those boys, you watch out, cuz all they want to do is put their worm in you!!"

schammieschammie said...

ROTFLMAO

Love it!

Weasel, we do like these small tidbits in-between the longer posts. Thanks for the pacifier.

RebelJubilee said...

Very true. A yak head would have been very hilarious. I should have guessed it wasn't you.

Anonymous said...

Awww boo, the post has been flagged on Craigslist for removal. Too bad, because her commentary was funny.

Thanks for linking to this, Weas!

Turen said...

Wow, that's disgusting behaviour.

cattypex said...

The question this blog longs to answer....

Why do men think that their trouser snakes are ALL THAT?!!??!?!?!?!

Tribblehappy said...

Dear god. I haven't got a camera phone, so if this ever happened to me I'd have to not-so-discreetly pull out my camera, give the guy a warning glare, then snap the photo and skip on over to the RCMP to report the, how did you put it, "Assclam".

Wildcat said...

Fabulous post! (as always) When will we ever learn? When something says, "Click Here" DON"T! But, I did. Can you put clorox in a carpet cleaner and mechanically scrub your eyes? I'd better go try . . .

clara said...

ewww it's so creepy how he is staring at her. good for her for putting this ass where he belongs lol

Anonymous said...

Gawker has the craigslist ad:
http://gawker.com/5307956/subway-rider-offers-to-help-man-put-penis-back-into-pants-via-craigslist

Anonymous said...

Actually, Gawker added the bow. I posted it uncensored which is why it's been removed.

In case Gawker didn't update the link, the CL ad can be found reposted here:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/1255246204.html

(this time with a bow)

Anonymous said...

That's awesome! Brilliant move by LM. I'll have to remember that one if I run into an assclam like that someday.

SweetZippinChip said...

On behalf of women everywhere, I would love to know who started the myth and got the idea into mens heads that women like to look at penises.

I'm just curious why men really think we get turned on by seeing their nasty, hairy dick.

I'm pretty sure I speak for all women when I say THEY REALLY AREN'T ANYTHING SPECIAL! WE DONT WANT TO SEE IT! SHOWING US IT WILL NOT MAKE US WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU!

Calantha said...

And this is why I only look at people's face when I'm on the subway. I'm not sure if guys who do this are just too afraid of women to have actual sex, or if they're just brainless douchenozzles.

SweetPea said...

I'm not sure I would have had the presence of mind to snap the picture... good for you, LM. And a damn funny write-up to go with... a step forward for woman-kind :)

36 & Single

G.H. said...

eeekk. Gross.

GH


http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

Andi said...

Please tell me she also turned this photo in to the local PD....

Kristin said...

can't wait for the guy with the curious george shirt to start feeling the wrath once this has made its way across the internet and he gets haggled all around NYC

Alissa said...

According to commenter HarmonyLane on Gawker, this same man showed her his dick a month ago on the N train from Astoria. Weas, you're onto something big here!

Lo said...

With any luck, this is the douchenozzle asshat fucktard who, one morning, groped my ass (reached up under the back of my coat, NOT an accident) on the downtown & Bklyn 2/3 express back in March. I wish I owned a taser.

A little while after I moved to NYC there was some subway flasher dude. He was finally caught when one of the flashing vics snapped his pic with the camera phone and took it to the cops. I love modern technology. Having been ... er, exposed ... to male tumescence while being stared at on the subway, and finally now an owner of a phone with working camera, I'm going to start taking the subway back!

Jami said...

Oh lawd. That is... Eye-searing.

I want to see the Craigslist commentary but both links have been flagged! [pout]

nereid said...

I'm so glad some of us are quick thinkers! I think I would have been too embarrassed to think to snap a pic.

Tooms said...

I don't know if this makes any difference whatsoever, but I recognize that guy. He has done the same thing to me.

LM said...

To anyone looking for the ad:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/rnr/1256762534.html

To anyone who has seen this guy before (legitimately, please) you can e-mail me through the craigslist ad! I'd love to have a package to give to the police.

TheRealistMom said...

LM I think he was the one with the package...

Sorry, that was terrible. Good show getting this guy the kind of exposure he DOESN'T want!

Weasel said...

Just to verify, the "LM" listed right above this comment IS the actual LM.

Let her know if you've seen this clown.

Anonymous said...

I'd laugh if the guy actually found LM and contacted her for "help".

My mother told me stories of traveling on trains in Japan where every man thought he had a right to what was under her school uniform. She'll be pleased to know that subways here at home are hot beds for creeps too.

Anonymous said...

He's on Queens trains? Ha. Ha. He better not show his face on the R or the V.

5% said...

I like the idea of getting back at street harassers like this...but I would be afraid the guy would try to attack me. Is that a ridiculous fear?

mr. mrs. fangface said...

I really hope this dude's employer is internet-savvy and sees this photo plastered all over the place.

Anonymous said...

I think this is one of those cases where the guy doesn't expect that this behavior will lead to sex, but he is getting off on the act itself. It is an act of sexual aggression, forcing a woman into a sexual situation by staring at her and showing her his cock, in a place where there isn't much she can do about it. I suspect he'll eventually become a rapist, if he isn't one already.

doctressjulia said...

HOLLABACK!!!!

Hyena Overlord said...

Why don't guys flash us with their dazzling personality, pardon papers, high school diploma, clearance from a recent psych assessment clearing them of all wrong doing...something other than Mr. Happy. Yes, we know you have one. No we don't want to see it until we've gotten to know the rest of you. Mr. Happy is like meeting your family. He might be okay but everyone else associated with him are nutbars.

Nicole said...

I feel bad for the guy sitting next to him. He has no idea....

Anonymous said...

And what of the poor boy next to him, minding his own business, playing with his phone? Can you imagine his expression when one of his friends e-mails him that picture? LoL

JessicaLee said...

This is pretty much the greatest thing I've seen today. Not the "package," the fact that she took a picture and sent it to you. Awesome.

Taylor said...

That's the worst present I've ever gotten :(

Anonymous said...

A bit off topic, but the "goddess guy" a few posts down has just updated his website. He writes about all the "ridicule" he's been getting from WWHM readers!

Hot Alpha Female said...

hahahha

Make on little "slip" up and then the whole freaking internet community, plus your mum, dad and your sister know about it.

How will he ever live it down?

Hot Alpha Female
The Only Woman You Should Take Dating Advice From
Latest Post: I really like Him ... Now what?!

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

LM, you WIN in every sense of the word!

That is HILARIOUS. That'll teach him to keep it in his pants.

God that's gross.

Necie said...

I have a special love for internet vigilatism. I hope this kid's wang gets posted everywhere and that it will burn and burn and burn.

I've never been flashed any skin on a train, but there was once a dirty little man on the platform staring at me through the window as I took my seat on the train home. He was visibly having a good ol fiddle under his pants. Then he grinned. I threw up a little in my mouth.

El-Mango said...

Oh God! How happy I am to not live in NYC! No trouser snake for me on the train!

Anonymous said...

Personally, I probably would have forgotten that I HAD a camera phone. My reaction would have probably been to stare incredulously before saying in a very, very loud voice, "GodDAMN that is one tiny dick." Before inquiring if he really thought that I would have been wowed and amazed by his tiny dick, and if he made any sort of affirmative at all, or any other motion, laugh hysterically.

Other than that, I might have used the camera on my Nintendo DSi to take a picture and mess with the distortion ability, or draw a face on the penis. Something silly, anyway.

Anonymous said...

I find this to be a highly puzzling phenomenon. No matter which way I think about it, it seems to me that a person sitting on public transportation, with their genitals hangin' out, would feel like an idiot more than aroused in any way.
Does a person who is aroused by this not think of the possibility of exactly this happening, getting their face and dick plastered all over the internet, where it's viewable to god knows who, including their employer? Does that seem insignificant compared to the thrill of having your dick out in public?

And as to the guys who tend to whip out their dick immediately after "hi!"... I come from a small town, and if a guy there ever did something like this, the girl would immediately 1)tell all the mutual friends of her and said dude, and 2)strategically choose a person to tell it to, so that the word would be sure to reach the dude's parents within a few hours. Of course this won't work in places like NYC, but in high schools and colleges etc, I would SO spread the word to everyone possible. Off the top of my head I cannot come up with a circle where that would create a desirable reputation for the guy.

Sophy said...

I love how Craigslist is removing this post -- probably because of "questionable content" but they'll leave hundreds, if not thousands, of personal ads up from men that consist of a solitary picture of their zipperworm.
I guess it's o.k. if you post the picture yourself, but god forbid someone should warn other people that there is an idiot running around and what he looks like.

Anonymous said...

Good gods! And here i thought the DC Metro was bad enough.

Arwen said...

nereid said...
I'm so glad some of us are quick thinkers! I think I would have been too embarrassed to think to snap a pic.


That's what he wants - he wants you to feel awkward and embarrassed. What he probably doesn't want is for you to loudly say something like "OH MY GOD, THAT'S DISGUSTING, PUT YOUR DICK BACK IN YOUR PANTS!"

Because that a) ruins his happy moment of getting you all flustered, and b) makes half the people around you give him Looks.

CaliGirl9 said...

It's one thing if he had been an attractive perv ... say someone who looked like George Clooney.

There is nothing attractive or desirable about this perv. Too bad there aren't any airborne penis illnesses to be caught on the NY subways (or anyplace else ... ebola for the cock, anyone?).

JLee said...

hahahahah...well, he wanted it SEEN didn't he?? His wish came true in a big way.

Anonymous said...

BUSTED!!! Perv.

casualencounters.com/blog said...

What a catch. I bet he bags all the subway hoochies.

sassysmom said...

I think I would have said as loudly as possibl.
"Oh my God he is hung like a knuckle" before taking the picture.

El-Mango said...

Correction. There is someone like this where I live...

El-Mango said...

PS - I made a false reply to Goddess Guy, pretending to be his perfect match. I want to see his reply.

El-Mango said...

(forgot something) I'll be sure to post it so we can make fun of him and his failness

zoe said...

I can post comments here but not on PLFM. What is up with that?

demon said...

good reaction to a disturbing situation...

http://lawdemon.blogspot.com/

Drew said...

This is one nasty guy. He must be out his mind like some drug addicts to be exposing himself like this.

Anonymous said...

To El-Mango:

Yes, please let us know how goddess-guy responds. I remember reading that and thinking "Well, let's see here...6 billion people on the planet, half of whom are male; of the 3 billion women, only a third would likely fall within his specified age range, so now we're down to 1 billion; of those, probably only 10% would meet his exacting standards of beauty, so now we're down to 100 million; of those, probably only 10% would be able to converse fluently in his language, so now we're down to just 10 million; of those who've made it that far, probably only 10% could live up to his standards of enlightened thought, so that drains the pond down to just 1 million possible options; assuming a 5% chance of genuine chemistry (a stretch here, I know), now we're down to just 50,000 women out of an original pool of 3 billion. Assuming that 5% of this super-select population was to actually see his website, now he's down to just 2,500 people from the entire world. Assuming 10% were to actually respond, he's now left with just 250.

Way to limit your options.

El-Mango said...

Haha after pretending to be the perfect woman, like following ALL of goddess guys requirements he still found things wrong. Like the fact I wear glasses. so does he...I'm planning on making this elborate. I'll give many updates on my personal blog. Promise, just add me.

mr. mrs. fangface said...

El-Mango:

Today the goddess dude updated his site on what he meant by "surrender", presumably in response to your email. I wonder how long it's going to take him before he figures out you're trolling him. XD

Spotted_T_Apps said...

Anyone else that's bored waiting for an update, I had an.... interesting experience the other night. Can be read about on my blog for July 15.

www.freewebs.com/spottedtridingblog

Canaduck said...

LM is one smart cookie. Way to think fast--Weasel, I'd love if you kept us updated on this situation, even if it just means linking to a newsstory or whatever at the end of one of your typically hilarious posts.

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Anonymous said...

update pleeeeeeeeease

Fragrant Liar said...

Priceless.

Anonymous said...

Please post a new blog... please! I'm addicted now and need new posts. Hope you're ok Weasel!

Maven said...

Weasel, your blog never disappoints!

Yet another fan from Ravelry!

sassysmom said...

Tapping my foot impatiently or inpatiently perhaps.
C'mon Weez you get back with your promises of a blog sure to result in Shredded Wheat vagina walls and then go away.

Anonymous said...

By the way what is with the picture of the woman with the guy wearing tight jeans in the background at the top of the WWHM page? Is there something funny about that picture?

Anonymous said...

Yeah its funny that his jeans are extra extra tight and he has a male camel toe.

Elvishswimmer said...

Weasel! You promised us one on Friday!

RebelJubilee said...

Weas, I know you have a real life, but its three am and I had to wake up to feed this damn 4-legged orphan. I think its now time that I start begging and offering sexual favors. (see its not creepy and weird when I do that because I'm female, right?)

Anonymous said...

Almost a month dry. I love your site Weas but I'm gonna have to let you go if this keeps up.

Seriously though, I don't know if you're trying to outdo yourself or what. Your posts are becoming longer and some what wittier. Chillax man and let the rejects speak for themselves sometimes.

CornFed said...

@anon 7:14

I'm way with you on that. We don't need perfection... I get that you're busy, but I don't even need much commentary. I just want a good laugh at the creepers!

Anonymous said...

@Impatient Anons

He has a fucking life. Don't like waiting? Too bad. Bitching about it won't do anything. There are plenty of readers to take your place.

Anonymous said...

Hey Weasel if you had a paypal button, I'd send you $5 to keep the hilarity going, and maybe enough of us would so that you could get a phone with which to blog while traveling and working. Hint to the Hizzle.

Lynda said...

Weas, love ya but if you dont start taking care of me I may have to find another man... er blog. I need a fix and well you need to supply it.

Hope your vacation went well. Im going on vacation sort of in a week. Its a working vaca. Its about all the vaca Im going to get this year.

Come back to us Weas!

Anonymous said...

@ the permanently patient

It is now August.

Since May, there has been ONE real post.

One.

I get that you would still read when there's a post, but why still defend him?

Oh, and to everyone who says, "just RSS feed it!", you're here checking it to, despite no new posts.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon

This is his goddamn blog. One he does for fun.

Real life + work are more important than some Blog you do in your freetime. He doesn't need to cater to your schedule, or anyone else's for that matter.

When I see people getting all whiny about someone who *GASP* has the nerve to have a life, it just irks me.

Don't like that he has a life? Go read someone else's blog and stop bitching on his.

"WAHHHH you haven't written anything in a while, I'm gonna go somewhere else" threats don't work. It's not going to make him magically come back and lick your boots in apology.

So either leave, or don't. Don't whine that he isn't posting in his OWN BLOG. No one climbs up your ass for not updating yours (if you have one).

Anonymous said...

UH OH
No posts so they are turning on each other
Wow

Anonymous said...

So anon @10pm how does Weasel's asshole taste? Get a good wiff with your nose so far up there? I wonder, can he walk or is your head that small?

Get a grip man, we're just busting balls.

Also, tomorrow will be one month MY TIME IS MONEY WEAS :D

XsilverXspursX said...

weas has a life and in the past he has mentioned that he faces insurmountable dead lines at work. im sure he is aware that the blog loses popularity and readers when the post stops. but he cant cater to your needs when he has his own work to deal with.

Anonymous said...

OT - but too funny - everyone needs to hear this!
www.entertonement.com/clips/kgfbklbhfm--no-message?fl_link=1_f2f107a6_78b5_11de_a5c1_0015c5f4d562

Anonymous said...

yes thank you silver spurs but we've had enough ass kissing of that nature. I think weasel's ass is starting to get a little chapped on that side, maybe the other cheek?

Just stopping in to toast the one month anniversary! :P

Anonymous said...

Seriously you guys, if you miss the blog so much, start your own with the same idea. Weasel is brilliant... but if you want to trash him, see if you can do better.

Hibs said...

Anon.

Proof that if someone has something retarded to say and can hide behind anonymity, they will.

Lynne said...

I LOVE this blog! I just found it yesterday, and already I've spent an obscene number of hours reading the old posts - I think I managed to get back to October 2008 so far. I'm also reading the other one - letters from psychotic men. Wow! Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Hibs, which anon? Would it be better if we were all David? I mean, I'm not hiding behind anonymity. Much like my real name, John Smith (fo real), my online moniker is pretty widely used.

I've been using it this long, I'm not changing now

Anonymous said...

you know whats funny? you're celebrating the one month anniversary, but its just been a month since he linked to something else and said, be back soon! it's been way MORE than a month....

you know what irks me most? he used to be ok just putting up the post, a few sentences of commentary, and all was good.

now, it feels like weasels testing out material for his memoirs. yuck, nobodys interested in reading 10 paragraphs about your time in rehab...

stop defending someone who DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU

Lynda said...

You know whats funny... all the Anon's.. its almost like someone with multiple personalities.

Anonymous said...

Lynda, how do you know it's not? I do some strange shit while drunk. (if posting on someone's blog is the definition of strange that is)

I'm pissed because Weasel created a need that now needs to be filled. Like when Billy Mays died. It's not his fault but I'm still pissed. If he never posted again that would be fine but I hope that my bitching in conjunction with the endless middle aged fan girls screaming his name over the sound of their vibrators will make him realize his posts, no matter how small, are beloved by all.

STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET YOU ASSHOLE! I DON'T WANT A COMMITMENT. A PITY FUCK ONCE IN A WHILE IS FINE.

Anonymous said...

i dont think weasel is coming back at this point =_[

Jen G. said...

Here is what I think happened.

Weasel pissed off one of the many mental patients this site makes fun of... said mental patient contacts Weasel via email posing as someone who want to hire him for his outstanding writing ability. Mental patient then gets Weasel alone for a "business meeting" and then stabs him to death with a bread knife.

You think?

Anonymous said...

i think youre right jen. maybe we sould launch an investigation

Lynda said...

An Amber Weasel Alert?

Elvishswimmer said...

Re: Anon @ 5:17

I totally agree. I'm a fairly new reader, started in May or around there and took my time each day reading 2 or 3 going backwards, starting with Hurricane Steve.

I must say, I enjoyed the quick ones that only have a small commentary behind it, rather than a 20 page story of his life. No offense or anything Weas, I did enjoy it, but I'm just saying I enjoyed the other ones -better-. Got a good quick laugh(rolling on the floor?) in before going to bed.

Anonymous said...

I think Weasel gets off on making people whine and beg. This is his power trip.

Lynne said...

Well it looks like I'm now in the same boat with the rest of you, waiting for new stuff to read. I just finished ALL of the archives for both this blog and Letters From Psychotic Men.

Weasel, you are one talented dude!

Lynne said...

Oops, I got the other blog name wrong. I meant Psychotic Letters From Men, LOL!

deMontjoie said...

Pepper spray to the tip of the offending member would have been eminently appropriate. I can just hear the squeals in my mind now.

Another similar-looking low-end dirtbag did this to my sister MANY YEARS AGO when she was riding a BART-train in the SF Bay Area.
She was young and a bit of an ingenue at the time. When the cop asked her "Was he masturbating?" She said "No." The cop, puzzled, asked "What was he doing then?" She said "He had his penis out and was rubbing it up-and-down with his hand." She expanded her vocabulary that day. LOL!

Anonymous said...

... is this blog still active? >_>

Anonymous said...

deMontjoie - lol

Anonymous said...

Hey Weasel check out this dirtbag -

Regiie Miller's skywriting.

Even the rich and famous are WWHM material.

rozydesouza said...

I was playing games online however for reading this post more interesting thanks for the share please do keep it going great job....Loveing this.

Cheers,

___________________
rozy
Increase your brand popularity overnight

Anonymous said...

I don't know how to contact you but I found this guy and I thought you might find him as hilarious as I did.
http://www.findingmygoddess.com/
Sorry for being a blog novice!
Sho

Artemis said...

yeah, they've caught the perv!

Andi said...

LOL...here's the news article. I'd really, really suggest giving the cops this photo now.

betty road said...

that's great... check out my site at http://www.geothermalquestions.net

samantha said...

Great post as always. And that last part about your mother catching you, you could have my mother who told my brother that she'd rather have him filling up a sock than getting some girl pregnant.
Samantha
Wireless Home Alarm Security Systems

Anonymous said...

A looser on the loose.

sexy filipina

DontClick said...

I say weasel, that's terrific.

S. said...

This is gross! I had a similar encounter like that except it was on the train home from work and I got up at my stop and passed by a man with it out behind his newspaper! He saw that I saw and his face was priceless! But still, gross! What's wrong with people that they think that's impressive or attractive? Is that how they think they can Start Love or something? I think you should find out who this guy is and post a warning to every girl in the world to watch out for him!

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gwallan said...

You know things are bad when the most interesting post on a blog is the commercial spam.

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