Thursday, April 24, 2008

Don't Smile For The Camera. Please. God.




SINGLE DAD LOOKING LUSTFULL NSA attachment

WANT READY AND WILLING NSA LOVER CAN HOST MUST BE FUN AND WILLING TO BE TREATED LIKE YOU HAVE ONLY DREAMED TONS OF SPOONING AND PLENTY OF FOR PLAY I'M VERRY LUSTY AND AM JUST LOOKING FOR THE SAME WHILE MY CHILD IS AT SCHOOL.

If this guy is really into spooning, he might want to start by spooning some of those dry roasted almond skins out of his gums. I haven't seen a grill like that since I worked the fried fish bin at Denny's.

You know, I am good at pretending. For example, my ex-girlfriend used to tell me that I was pretty good at walking around pretending I was a man, when deep inside I knew my penis was the size of a common housekey.

But this guy can't possibly pretend to not know how bad his teeth are.

I used to have bad teeth myself. So bad that I shelled out $12,000 for a set of porcelain veneers, so essentially my teeth are now made out of the same material as a toilet.

When I tried to explain this concept to Consuela, my non-English speaking Mexican housekeeper, she thought I was asking her to poo in my mouth. She quit, and I was promptly arrested, but that's beside the point.

The point is women are very attracted to a nice smile.

And having made that point, this man's mouth will make a woman's legs snap shut like an alligators mouth on a steaming hot butter-basted Hormel turkey.

A case study in vagina repellant at its best.

3 comments:

Sistah said...

Is this guy from Kentucky or Arkansas?

Jennifer said...

What does he mean by FOR PLAY? It should read "I'm verry crusty and am just looking for another toothless wonder like myself".

Keyette said...

I think you meant West Virginia Sistah, lol