Thursday, October 16, 2008

Surfin' USA

Any Hottie Girls down 2 watch a Surfer JacKing oFF?

Yup..for real here....chill ass surfer jock into showing off to getting caught jerking off...whatever your down for though most girls like seeing me nutt on my board. Erik @ XXXXXX.XXX

Oh, fucking please ladies, behave yourselves. Stand up before you stain your chair. There's so much estrogen flowing in here, I just fucking lactated and bought three pairs of shoes I'm never going to wear.

Look, I'm not gonna say looking at those hot cross buns has instantly put all you guys in heat, but if I scrambled all the eggs you guys just pumped onto the floor I could make an omelette to feed the Dallas Cowboys. You want me to put a pat of butter on those poop clippers and cover him with some fucking Golden Griddle?

Don't mind me, I'll just get back to my new job of selling flood insurance. For vaginas.

Anyway, you oversexed, horny wombats, meet Erik. Erik has placed a personal ad seeking some onanistic adventures on the beach. But I caution you, the reality of sex on the beach is never what you really think it is.

The gentle scrape of barnacle on ball sack.

The playful buttock touch of a pre-historic bivalve mollusk.

A thousand sand fleas turning your ass crack into TickleZone 2000.

The sudden and uncomfortable awareness of the depth of your fallopian tubes when filled with abrasive volcanic sand grains.

Believe me, it's bad enough when you get crabs, but imagine contracting actual crabs. The doctor doesn't prescribe a medicinal shampoo, he prescribes seagulls. And the last thing I want is a sloppy beakjob from a hungry seabird. The last thing you want is to get beak-fucked by a mangy bird that subsists primarily on discarded french fries and whatever falls off of a porpoise.

But Erik doesn't even want sex. He wants to jerk off for you, onto his surfboard. Gee, I wonder where you'll stand in that relationship.

I contacted Erik, and he told me there's a reason he took this picture for his personal ad. He wanted to show you the muscles on his back, but he didn't want you to see the mussels in his crotch. Spending half your life waist deep in seawater will do that to you. His dick looks like a coral reef in Kauai. There are so many fucking crustaceans ensconced in his genital area you could douse his nuts with butter and lemon and have a fucking clam bake.

Now why don't all 3,000 of you drooling ladies email Eric and ask him out for Halloween so you can dress up as a backyard surfboard.

With a hole in it.


fuglyhorseoftheday said...

I am always amazed at the inability of most men to distinguish what turns men on from what turns women on.


Man: OMG I wish I could have that underaged hottie without being arrested. Look, I can see her thong!
Woman: Damn teenagers. Why do they wear those baggy pants with their underwear showing?

Man: Oh, god...two chicks doing it. If only I could watch that in person and not just on DVD.
Woman: Two guys doing it? Excuse me while I lose my lunch...

Man: There's nothing hotter than watching a girl get herself off.
Woman: WTF? Go in the bathroom with a Hustler like everybody else. Nobody wants to watch that!

Yup. While I will say that Erik has an ass that most of us wouldn't mind digging our nails into, that ad is going to attract 100% gay or "I'm NOT gay but my wife's out of town and so I'm posting in the MfM section" guys.

Ashers said...

OK. He's got a fab arse. Nice back too. In fact, physically he looks buff. first though was....why does someone with a bod like that need to place an ad for sex ???


Weasel said...

Yeah, this was in W4M, I double checked.

Hey guys, anyway I want to thank all you new readers, WWHM kingpins, and all the people that drop by in the comments to say hello.

Sometimes its hard for me to keep checking back in the comments to answer all your questions and concerns, but I try! I read everything.

You can also email me anytime for any reason, I try to answer all of them.

Some people have been asking why I don't use the ads they sent in- you have to realize I get about 200a week, and I only post 6-10 a week. I can only use the ones I can get a story out of, and I never know which ones that will be. Don't get discouraged! Or mad! Keep sending them in, along with gross photos, sex toys, anything else you find, I look at EVERYTHING!

The ads I use must be SHORT and sweet, and a funny picture helps. As does no cock pics, that helps too, unless it's WAY out of line and I make an exception like today. But 98% of the time, I turn down cock pics because I dont want WWHM covered in cock pics. And, well, I hate cocks.

If you don't like todays posts, stay tuned, I put up some good ones once in a while!

I'm going to shoot up some China White and go to bed.

Weasel said...

Last post, I meant M4W

Anonymous said...

Surfer dude is Hall of Shame material, IMO. Love your commentary, Weasel!

But, sorry Fugly, I gotta say this. Women not liking the idea of two guys together? Myth. Of course plenty of women, probably a majority, don't dig that, and I take it that you don't.

But I and a number of female friends do. A lot of gay men have cottoned on to it. I have a gay guy friend who likes to share with me because nobody enjoys his stories more.

There's an entire genre of Japanese porn dedicated to it. It's called yaoi. It's typically written not only for, but by women.

I'm sorry to correct you, but that's a joke about the differences between men and women that I hear too often.

Anonymous said...

At first I was like "mmm... NICE ASS" until I read the post.

What, is the guy just gay or something in that he just wants you to watch him spank his monkey and spew? He can't be married, no one would marry such a narcissist. Er, would they?

I bet hot girls are holding their breaths to get to see Erik here whack a mole and wipe the remains into his surfboard, to use for luck when riding the big one. That's all you'll get, Erik.. is a big wave.

Weasel said...

Maryann is right.

I'm a fucking perv, but a girl I dated wanted nothing more than to see two guys getting it on. She had gay male porn all over her computer. Kinda strange, but I was cool with it.

Until she called me on the "I'll do anything" claim. I would not, could not do it. Not even close.

Not that there's anything wrong with it, but dudes just absolutely gross me out. I can't even watch two men kiss on TV.

But some girls? REALLY into it.

Lynda said...

"want me to put a pat of butter on those poop clippers and cover him with some fucking Golden Griddle?"

Could you please?!!! LOL

Im with you Weas.... two people of the same sex making out... eewww gross.... yuck! I dated a guy that wanted me to 'get it on'with another woman... needless to say that ended that relationship! sorry but to me its gross. To others its a turn on... Yes I have gay friends and have no problem with it.

Mack Truck said...

I had a boyfriend that suggested a threesome once.

I told him, "Sure, but I get to pick the other guy!"

Funny how that seemed to take his enthusiasm out of it....

Erik is a narcissistic exhibitionist, although he does have a fab booty.

I'm not into watching men "do" themselves. After all, what's in it for me?

If I don't get to play a little slap and tickle, I'm not interested.

Again, totally fab booty. Don't like the dick it's attached to, though.

Nina said...

This ad absolutely reinforces my theory that while surfers have great bodies, they also have comparatively small brains with few functioning neurons. The baseball hat on backwards is a classy touch. Although, I could stare at that tight, round ass all day long! Don't you just want to grab it and smack it (and then wipe the excessive drool off your face)?

"Now why don't all 3,000 of you drooling ladies email Eric and ask him out for Halloween so you can dress up as a backyard surfboard.

With a hole in it."

Favorite part.

Hyena Overlord said...

I agree with fugly...I to am amazed at the inability of most men to figure it out.

Anonymous said...

If you ladies think that ass is fab, you should see my hubby's! And he packs his into Wranglers....mmmmm....cowboy butts!! ;-)

So anyway, about the post--why does Erik think that watching him jack off is exciting? Maybe I'm just a selfish bitch, but if there's not going to be anything in it for me (and obviously there isn't going to be) I'm not interested and would frankly prefer you jacked off somewhere that you didn't make a mess--like the shower. Because I don't want to clean it up, and I'm pretty sure Erik doesn't plan to. He probably thinks it's "yucky".

SweetPea said...

What is it with men and wanting to show it off to EVERYONE? Geez....

I'm with fugs... definitely a guy thing.

ME: So, babe, what's your fantasy?
HIM: Let's find another couple and fuck in front of them.

ME: *Walks out the door*


SweetPea said...

Oh, yeah... and that ass is fab!!

CaliGirl9 said...

And I ask yet again—what's in this for me?

Yes, nice ass, nice back, and great arms. And it appears he's humping a genuine surfboard.

But most surfers I've come across are dumb as posts when it comes to anything other than looking up wave forecasts and then catchin' that next toasty wave (TM Spicoli).

What a stimulating conversation I'd expect to have with this one.

I bet he's got a bad case of butterface. Or butterhisface if you want to be technical. (AKA horseface, not intending to insult equines whom I dearly love. Horseface belongs on horses.)

Isn't it nearly a universal MALE fantasy to get caught jerking off or having sex in an almost-public place?

Unknown said...

OMG chestnutjumper784, I just laughed so hard. I read your comment and had a distinct thought of "What baseball cap?"
I might have been a little distracted. =P

Anonymous said...

hee hee I did the same thing saskia.. "what baseball cap? I never noticed a cap..."

E.A.D. said...

Two men going at it isn't really my cup of tea so on that, I kinda have to agree with Fugs. However, I do have some videos on my comp of good-looking guys jerking off and for some reason I do enjoy watching them. None of them are underage though - that's where the line is drawn. Guys under 18 I do not find sexually attractive.

I think that whole younger girls thing has to do with youth = fertile & energetic. Guys seem more prone to that train of thought, even though I'm sure there are some teen girls who are infertile or have low egg counts. And there are teens who make slugs look like triathletes.

On topic: Erik has a great bod, but nothing upstairs and his personality probably sucks too.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Brilliant Weasel!

You're not only back, but better than ever.

Maybe we should let you out more often????

Flood insurance for vaginas. Better get started on that, before someone else steals your idea! You will make a killing in no time and won't need a 'day job'.

kahara said...

LOL your description of his crotch made me think of the fish people in Pirates of the Caribbean. Maybe we should call this dude the Butt Pirate of the Caribbean.

Though he has an excellent body...hmm...that would definitely be fun to play with. Though of course him being a narcissist and only interested in having a hot girl WATCH him jerk off (you know, instead of PARTICIPATING), hot girl wouldn't get very far.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Having read through the comments now...

Nice ass, nice bod, eye candy for sure! But as we all agree- he may have the tools to do the job, but without the knowledge or skill to use them, its all pretty much worthless...

Guy on guy? What's the point? Really. The guy on the giving end is still sticking it in somewhere- just happens to be another guys poop chute. Same with lesbians on the receiving end- she's still getting rammed & jammed in the same places, just with props.

And yes, most guys are stimulated visually, while most women aren't. We are all wired a bit differently in that regard- just like we all like different foods, activities, colors, tv shows and everything else...

And what is the point of just watching? I am part of the crowd chanting "What's in it for ME?" Selfish? Maybe, but why watch when you could participate instead? If he's THAT good, then who cares who is watching?

Cut-N-Jump said...

I just forgot to ask one more thing...

Does he stick or slide on the wax on the board? Or is that what he uses to wax the board with?

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

>>And what is the point of just watching? I am part of the crowd chanting "What's in it for ME?" <<

Yeah, I think women are like that. I mean, you just don't see as many women as men into the idea of strip clubs. I've always said, why would I want to go and JUST LOOK? What is the point?

Women do get turned on by different things than men. For example, I think a LOT of women really care about a guy's voice. A deep, sexy voice will ring our bells every time, and the hottest guy on earth will fail to keep our attention if his mouth opens and what comes out sounds whiny or weak. I'm not sure guys care as much. I mean, I think a LOT of guys would do Fran Drescher...even today.

water_bearer said...

Sex Wax has taken on a whole new meaning for me.
OK. Nice bod. Good ass. Great back. Great backs are my thing.
But with a body like that, and no tan lines I might add, why would you need to post an ad to get women to watch you shellac your board with your man juice? Why not ask any one of your 15 girlfriends that you should have?
Either, as someone else said, there's a serious case of butterface going on here (oh... Michael Phelps, you sweet, sweet dear), or all 15 of his California Bimbo Barbie broads dumped him inside 5 minutes because his conversations are as stimulating as trying to stick a cactus leaf up your ass - incredibly painful, and impossible to take after .02 seconds. Otherwise, if he had anything other than that tight little apple bottom to offer, he'd have a chick at home fucking him on a regular basis, and pretending to enjoy taking her morning coffee in the yard just to watch him rub him dork on his board. I mean, that's what supportive girlfriends do, yes?
WTF? I have no sympathy for people this stupid.

water_bearer said...

Oh yeah...

so he is wearing a hat.


fuglyhorseoftheday said...

And while I understand there is a segment of the female population that is really into guy/guy stuff (hence the prevalence of "slash" fic on the web...good GOD some of you women scare even ME when I stumble across that shit...I mean, Captain Kirk and Spock, really?)...for the most part here's a woman's train of thought:

anal = poop
poop = gross
gross = not sexy

Yeah, I know there's this segment of the female population that disagrees with me but I know I'm in the majority here. Most women, no matter how gay-friendly and live-and-let-live we may be (and I certainly am - hey, whatever makes you happy as long as you leave the kids and animals alone), simply do not understand the intrinsic appeal of sticking it up someone's poop chute when there's a world full of perfectly nice, well maintained and hygienic vaginas out there designed for that purpose.

Mack Truck said...

I had to go back and look, too.

Had NO clue Eric Hardass even had a head, much less was wearing a hat on it....

Anonymous said...

I think that you ladies would be quite surprised at how many women actually enjoy anal sex - some actually prefer it to vaginal. And as for two guys doing it - I'm very much into the slash (and maryann, you're a little off - I remember there being a survey a while back that showed that both males and females participated in the yaoi writing/reading stuff, but for some reason in slash it's mostly by women, for women. I've no clue why this is), and I gotta say, I find it very hot. But, then I'm a kinky bitch so I suppose that it's not that surprising ;)

Mack Truck said...

Sorry Jay, tried it, didn't like it. Just not something I enjoy.

Whatever two consenting adults want to do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their own business, though.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Sorry I wasn't looking for a hat. Was he wearing one? I didn't notice...

Yeah baby, with a body like that- sex should NOT be a problem for him. At All!

I agree- whatever two consenting adults agree to do- so be it, have at it.

As for the proposition of marriage being between a man & a woman- (going to certainly be on the ballots in AZ- prop 102) I really don't care. Some same sex unions or parterships are much stronger than the man/woman ones are or ever thought of being. And if they want to get divorced, why should they be immune to losing half their money and possessions to the other party?

Weasel said...

The ONLY things I noticed was he was wearing a hat, and I'd like to read poems on his lawn while eating nachos.

What the hell is "slash" guys? I thought I knew everything about sex, but I don't know what being into "slash" means.

Is that just a word for bi-sexuality???

nip/tuck said...


I also failed to notice a hat. I was staring at that nice ass and killer man-hips. However, I have to say that fucking your surfboard is a bit of a turn-off. Hello?! My va-jay-jay is not gonna screw itself...

nip/tuck said...

OH, and I don't wanna have to change the batteries in my vibrator THAT often.

nip/tuck said...

Okay, I stared at the picture a little longer, and now I have to slurp the drool off my keyboard. Can I be the surfboard?

muttpuppiesontrial said...

Weasel: "Slash" is a word used in fiction to describe the depiction of a homosexual relationship. There's a Wikipedia entry on it and everything. :) I think it usually means a M/M pairing, hence the relevance to the topic we've somehow arrived at...

Nina said...

"I'm very much into the slash"

Two people of the same gender.

Emele Duncan said...

Wow. I am utterly disgusted by the amount of borderline fucking homophobia in the comments today. Not to mention the number of people who think how other people fuck is their business. Jesus.

Normally I love this site, but today the commenters are vile and hateful.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Yeah, I think women are like that. I mean, you just don't see as many women as men into the idea of strip clubs. I've always said, why would I want to go and JUST LOOK? What is the point?

The clubs are out there, and disgustingly enough, the 'rules' present are nowhere near what they are for the clubs featuring female dancers.

Last time I was in one- the male dancers were all over the women in the room. All of them. Kissing them with their tongues half way down each others throats, (swapping spit and god knows what else???) women groping the men at every chance, throwing their underwear and bras on the 'floor' licking their bodies- whatever was in reach or range. Alcohol was served... Pretty much anything went.

If a guy tried ANY of that with a female dancer, he may be lucky enough to just get thrown out of the club. Otherwise he could very well end up in jail- even if the dancer initiated evererything. Alcohol is NOT served in the clubs featuring female dancers here and NO contact is allowed. NONE!

Cut-N-Jump said...

Oh and I forgot to add about the clubs featuring male dancers- they get the women all boozed and revved up then let the average Joe's in like a herd of cattle at the auction. The women are ready to ride anything at that point so everyone *scores* for the night.

RebelJubilee said...

Wonderful posts today Weasel! Surfer dud might have a nice body, but damn, you need something more (and that includes a desire to actually be with a woman and not just have her watching)

water_bearer said...

emele duncan - what thread are you reading?
Over react much?

Anonymous said...

Well, I did ask for bizarre fetishes and freaky peen. Weasel very much delivered.

This guy has a nice backside, but the personality has got to go. Watching him get off once in a while is okay. The basis of an entire relationship? Not so much.

Count me in as not a slash fan. Two men together just doesn't excite me. Women together is starting to bore me. Or maybe it's because there's so little variety.

Nina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
water_bearer said...

chestnut, that's all fine and well but I think if you're reading this blog and commenting regularly, you're probably already pretty open-minded, and realistic about the many types of sexualities, and therefore less likely to be the type who says something naive like "Boys kiss boys?! Ewww!"
Which is not how I took any of the comments. All I see is shit like, "Yeah, I'm a hetero chick and I get why my boyfriend wants to watch girl on girl porn so I will with him once and a while and pretend to like it, but truth be told, I lose my erection when I see hairy man taint thrusting towards same and I can't fake that. Sorry."
NOT the same thing. Consider the environment, then consider this is not the place to be oversensitive.
Oh, and all my lesbian friends literally gag when I talk about a man's penis and the thought of what comes out of it and that I'd get my mouth or any other part of me near it, is NOT appetizing to them. My gay male friends obviously are not bothered by this aspect, but I'm sure the thought of my cute boyfriend putting his cock anywhere near my mouth or any other part of me grosses them out because they gag at that too.
All of this is among friends however, as it is here (cyber friends anyway), and no one has to be turned on by everything you're turned on by. This is post-homophobia. I can actually now say to my gay male friends, "To think you put your dick in his ass. You pigs." And we would all laugh because they'd know it was a joke, and not me gay-bashing. Dig?

E.A.D. said...

CutnJump, I almost puked at your description of the clubs for women! Now I'm too scared to go into any from now on - that's just too creepy. I want to say there's a double standard at work there, but I'm not sure that's the correct term.

Weasel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Weasel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
muttpuppiesontrial said...

[pops head in meekly] I didn't want to get involved, but I could kind of pick up on some homophobic vibes too. I won't point fingers, and I'm straight personally, but I can find the offense in hearing that there's no "point" to M/M or F/F sex because it's essentially the same as straight sex or that it's icky or what-have-you.

So - I could kinda see where Emele was coming from, just wanted to say so. But I'll shut up too, because all this just ain't in the WWHM spirit. :)

Weasel said...

You're right- WWHM is supposed to be fun. I'm deleting my annoying, overly-long comments.

muttpuppiesontrial said...

To get us back on topic... WOW, I think I'm gonna need to get an insurance policy from you, Weasel! Why does this guy need to advertise himself?? He's a walking billboard! (With a crappy sales pitch, mind you... lol)

wheelin126 said...

"beak-fucked by a mangy bird"...HAHAHAHAHAHAH that was just too damn funny weasel I don't know where you come up with some of this shit but that had me busting a gut...which in Eric's case would be bustin a nut. I wonder what would have the biggest wood him or his I'll just stare at his ass and try not to think of him waxing or wacking his board.

wheelin126 said...

Hello?! My va-jay-jay is not gonna screw itself...

Nip/Tuck damn it you had me in tears over that one!!!

Anonymous said...

muttpuppies, I dont think anyone meant that m/m relationships are pointless, they mean that its pointless for women to be into it since the guys are interested in each other (same goes for guys and f/f relationships)..does that make sense?

All that aside I'll have to admit I'm one of those who think that two guys is hot! NO I dont want to see everything (since, like Fugs noted anal=poop lol) but two hot guys making out...I cant really argue with either of their logic. ;)

How did we end up on this topic anyway? Oh thats right, Fugs post, you trouble maker! ;)

But back on topic: Surfer dude is hot, weird, but hot. He reminds me of a guy who worked at my first job, Jimmy. He was the picture of a blond haired, blue eyed Cali surfer. I would have loved to be his surf board :)

Fhtrkstr101 said...

Since I'm gay, i obviously find girl on girl hot, it's kind of like hetero porn to hetero people. But, ill watch straight porn sometimes. I think it has to do with me wanting to be 'the man.'Oh that freudian penis envy.

As for when boys kiss boys I think it is hot as hell. Obviously their penis's are kinda yucky and i wont watch them ram because thats yucky too, but making out hardcore is sexy to me. Slash in fan/regular fiction can be outlandish, but its still amusing.

Ella said...

Yeah I kind of find the slash stories hot as well. I mean think of it this way: you watch a show or movie and there are 2 extremely HOT male characters. Now you are reading a story of these two hot male characters getting it on.. THATS slash. You don't get the visual, which is better in my mind because you can make it as hot as you want without the gross reality (like anal=poop thing. In your fantasy there is no poop. LOL) For F/F action its called femslash.

Wow, I probably shouldn't know all that..

Anonymous said...

I am gonna piss you all off. I'm gonna replytoeverybodyallatonce... and continue the debate! Mua ha ha ha ha!

Weasel, I think it's crossing the line to ask your straight significant other to have homosexual sex. Bringing it up is one thing, being insistent is another. That's just not okay. It's no better than trying to turn a gay person straight.

Calantha and Cutnjump - Plenty of women love it, I promise you. Though, Cutnjump, I gotta agree that I don't see the appeal in male strip clubs. But it would be a major inaccuracy to say that women don't like strip clubs just because fewer women frequent them than men... you see my point?

Fugly - Sorry, I know you didn't mean to begin a debate, but when you speak in absolutes, and as a reader of your blog I know you're fond of it, you're bound to find at least one person who falls outside that circle.

"Yeah, I know there's this segment of the female population that disagrees with me but I know I'm in the majority here."

First, I gotta say I think I've been misunderstood somehow. I don't disagree that most women don't care to see two men together. What I meant was that your original statement read as a statement of the absolute. "I am always amazed at the inability of most men to distinguish what turns men on from what turns women on."

And the observable fact is that there are a lot of women that your number two example does not apply to.

Second, you're very sure of what you say, but how do you know? I imagine you're right, most women don't care. But as a young woman (recently 24) I can tell you that a number of my straight friends really enjoy slash and similar (I prefer yaoi and porn to slash, personally.) Females my age and younger who grew up under the right circumstances (in my case, living in So. Cal.) are neither shocked nor grossed out by it. Most of my friends who like slash and who I've discussed this with discovered they liked it the same way I did: the internet. It's not just young boys looking up porn on the internet, it's curious girls, too. And most heterosexual porn shows (and frequently degrades) women. Faceless penises and women pretending to enjoy themselves. Well, we know what a female body looks like. For a straight girl it's often "whoop dee doo." Best source for looking at hot men? Gay porn. I don't know how old you are but a lot of girls of my generation literally grew up with this. So, with that in mind, how can it be a surprise that the general slash concept is hugely popular in Asia and gaining here? Personally, I think the popularity of the slash genre can only grow because of this.

There was a yaoi-con here in California in September:

Here's an article about it in the San Fransisco Chronicle, again, about yaoi:

It also offers some explanation as to the appeal of male homosexual porn to women and brings up an interesting example: Brokeback Mountain. As they point out, it's basically a chick flick. It features a central, forbidden romance and the drama created by it. But that romance is homosexual. If you don't think this genre is gaining a foothold, then I present to you exhibit A: a slash flick that won three Oscars.

Jay - Where did you read that? I know plenty of guys are into yaoi, I'm just saying I've always heard, and in my experience, it's mostly enjoyed by females. Let's face it, there are more women than gay men. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'd just be curious to read the survey you read.

Emele Duncan - I don't see as much homophobia as you do, mostly I just see misunderstanding. You've got to remember, gay people still have a long way to go in America, and therefore even people who accept the gay lifestyle still have problems understanding its appeal, especially to straight people. So instead of getting mad, I would ask that you please get informed and help people understand.

PS: To all the ladies drooling over this guy in spite of the fact that he's obviously an complete ass... don't wonder the next time you're judged on your looks. Everything about this guy turns me off. I can smell the arrogance wafting from his tight ass from here. *coughokaysohedoeshaveanicebuttcough*

Anonymous said...

PS to Ella:

"Wow, I probably shouldn't know all that.."

Why not? If you like slash, you like slash. I'm all for explaining exactly why, too, because this conversation made it 100% obvious that it's very misunderstood.

So thank you for explaining and please don't be ashamed! :)

Weasel said...


I don't necessarily think it is too off base to ask if your partner is interested in it. But yes, to DEMAND it is way off base, and actually would ruin a sexual relationship.

The girl I dated wasn't really "insistent" that I engage in it, it just really turned her on so much and she expressed that to me a lot. In fact, I wish I could have accomodated her- but it's just not in my nature to have any physical attraction to men at all. I actually felt bad because I'm so open about everything sexually- I've done it all and seen it all- but that was the one line I just am unable to cross, even though I really wanted to be able to fulfill all her fantasies. So I kind of felt like I failed her in that respect.

I've never "asked" any girls I've dated to do it either, but I've been lucky in that 3 of the 5 girls I've had long terms rel's with loved being with other girls. Women are generally a lot more open to fooling around with other women. I would NEVER demand that a girl do it though- thats just stupid and a quick way to become re-acquainted with my hand.

On a side note, I want WWHM readers to understand that this forum is completely open for us to be open about sexuality in anonymity. And even better is we can laugh at our sexuality- because believe me there is nothing funnier than our sexuality. It's fucking hilarious, gay, straight, whatever. I'm straight, and very unpolitically correct, and I will make fun of gay people, just like gay people make fun of straight people. I LOVE gay people, but I make fun of EVERYBODY, myself more than anyone, because I'm a huge idiot.

What some people have mistaken as borderline "hate speech" in here is NOT hate speech. Having an opinion is NOT hate speech. WWHM IS politically incorrect, and IT WILL REMAIN THAT WAY.

Let me give you a personal example that applies here. I have a LOT of gay friends, and some gay family members. We always give each other shit. My hilarious lesbian aunt always calls me a pathetic man. And you know what? She's right, and I laugh about it.

I always tease my gay guy friends for being disgusting man-whores. You know why? Because they are! And THEY laugh about it. "You're right on that one," they'll say.

I personally cannot stand to watch two men kiss. It grosses me out. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, but personally, it grosses me out. Does that mean I hate gays? Thats a ludicrous conclusion. I love gay guys, they're great. But watching them make out? Uuughghh. Gross.

So let me turn the tables on that. Watch what happens when I tell gay guys about going down on a woman. Their faces cringe up, they pretend to gag, they think going down on a woman is the GROSSEST thing ever. Does that mean gay guys hate women? OF COURSE NOT. That would be a completely irrational and presumptive conclusion to make.

And I think thats what happened here in the comments. Someone stated a personal opinion, and someone else took it as gay -BASHING, which it IS NOT. I actually didn't take time to re-read the comments before I wrote this, but I will.

If you think I will allow hate speech on ANY level on WWHM, you are wrong. In fact, if you guys see any, let me know right away and I will take care of it.

But I promote and ENCOURAGE commentary that is not politically correct- because that is what makes this blog funny- laughing at the quirks in human sexuality and making fun of it. Because it IS funny.

If you don't like that or can't handle it, or if you find politically incorrect commentary offensive in any way, you shouldn't be reading WWHM anyway. I don't know why you would want to.

My soliloquoy is done. I'm just killing time before bed. See ya!

Weasel said...

PS Maryann

I just ran into an old comment WAYYYY back in WWHM you posted for me. You're very opinionated and I fully respect that, and love having you on the board WWHM. You're one of those people that make me say "Oh, shit, she's smarter than me."

But... if you want to email me we could discuss something I think you really mis-interpreted on an old entry. (You know what I'm talking about!)

You don't have to- but if you want to, email me personally and I can discuss it with you.

Lynda said...

I didnt find any of the comments here hateful. I have gay friends. I joke with them that I wont bring my BF over because I dont want them to steal him! LOL I find same sex regardless whether female or male gross. Its me. Its like I hate Mexican food. Doesnt mean I hate hispanics. I hate vietnamese food too... dont hate them either. I love American food... doesnt mean I love all of them. Its all an opinion. All because one thing grosses you out, ok human fecal matter... grosses me out... but I think nothing about reaching down and picking up a stray horse apple...(with bare hands) You wont catch me doing that with human excrement! (I was a nurses aide in another life time...) Oh and I wont do that with my dogs either but that doesnt mean I hate my dogs. I just find their poo to gross me out.

I grew up in a house hold where sex was NEVER talked about. I almost freaked out when a friend of mine who lives in the Pacific NW now told me she's into swinging. Ok we grew up in very straight northern New England. Do I think swinging is gross.. yeah... but that doesnt mean she's not my friend anymore. Its her choice and I respect that. She respects that having more than one position in sex in my life is a big improvement for me... LOL Its all in what we find to be acceptable to ourselves. Its a choice and opinion. No one here gay bashed or was hateful.

I respect all your choices in what you like and what you dont like. Doesnt mean I like you anymore or less if I dont like it.

I hope Ive gotten this out so people can understand what Im trying to say.

Weasel keep posting... I learn new things from you ever time! LOL Oh and Evergrey and Mary too!

RebelJubilee said...

Odd the way this degenerated into what it did. So when can we go back to as long as its safe sane and consensual its ok? Who cares what someone else does. Just because you don't like it doesn't make it wrong, it just means its not for you. Personally I don't care for quarter horses. Therefore I don't ride quarter horses. But I know people who do and thats perfectly fine with me. Although I didn't catch any blatant homophobia. There were a lot of opinions on how its not for someone but they don't care if other people do it.

Rhyadawn said...

Hat?? There was a hat??? (scampers off to go check)

Personally I love the slash! QAF=Yummy fun! Where does that leave me? A perfectly normal woman. People get all upset with themselves because something "different" gets their juices going, and its really too bad. We left the dark ages a long time ago!

This already has an astonomical amount of comments. Took forever to read. Are you excited about this Weas??

Anonymous said...

Weasel, I see what you mean but I can't help but think that repeatedly bringing up a fetish that doesn't appeal to your partner is not a healthy thing to do in a relationship. She brought it up so much you actually felt bad that you couldn't. To me that means it was past time for her to back off, even if she was nice otherwise.

Okay, maybe this has hit you between the eyes, but that's a pet peeve of mine, as in, "No! Quit talking about it! No I do not think chains are sexy!"

I agree with what you said about none of the comments here being hateful, by the way... Someone here might be a little high-strung.

As to that angry comment, I seriously thought you'd never see it, I posted it so long after you posted the hate letter. I'll e-mail you if you really want to get into what you meant. Frankly, I'm kinda surprised you care enough, even if I was an epic bitch about it.

Rhyadawn, girl, I like the way you think!

Ella said...

Maryann for you I will shout it out to the world:


Damn straight.
Its hot.

I'm not ashamed of it- especially not on a blog where I am virtually anonymous- its just not something I regularly go around telling people I get off on. But yeah, have you SEEN Michael Shanks? No wonder there is a veritable cache of slash fic for him.

Oh and Weasel, there are plenty of femslash archives if you like girl on girl action.

water_bearer said...

Thank you Weasel - that's exactly what I was trying to say. Not surprisingly though, you did a much better job. This is why you have an awesome blog that gets thousands of readers and nominated for awards, and I talk to my dog.

Cut-N-Jump said...


Just sit in the back rows to watch. The guys don't often make it through the crowd- too many women in the way to let them through.

Definately a double standard, but funny as hell to watch the 'whore' come out of what looks like a normal bunch of gals...

Just laugh thinking he is the community doorknob- everyone has a turn and how they will all wonder just how the hell they contracted_________ (disease of choice) since they are too drunk to remember having groped and slurped on the guy- just like every other horney, drunk broad in the room.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Maryann- I see your point. I'm just saying the clubs featuring male dancers are out there, just maybe not nearly in the same number of clubs. I was also explaining the differences in what IS and in NOT allowed to go on in both. (At least the clubs here)

I like watching a well built guy take his clothes off, just as much as a lot of other women, but then again it is objectifying the male body- just like so many women get pissed off about when men do the same.

Brandy said...

"Ass Surfer" [snicker]

Brandy said...

OMG, one of my fave nights out with the gals EVAR was when we went to a tranny night club. The show was amazingly well performed, fun and funny!

I like fanfic a LOT. If it's well written. Wolverine kissing Cyclops? Hawt! I don't read it ONLY for slash, but I don't turn away from it if it is mature slash... I've read some not so well written fanfics that were so steamy I had to attack hubby every 10 minutes or so, and some that awesomely well written ones that were yawners....

But, to each their own. I wonder if Mr. Chill Ass ever found a female from this ad?

agustin96 said...

didn't notice the hat either... spent too much time trying to figure out if I could see anything resting on the board...

Rhyadawn said...

"didn't notice the hat either... spent too much time trying to figure out if I could see anything resting on the board..."

I kept looking at that too... hard to tell, too much shadow... and really who looks for hats anyways... LOL

Anonymous said...

Nice piece of eye candy but an exhibitionist to be completely sure. Besides being married, totally turns me off being a narcissist because I dated someone whose IM name was CaptainConceido (and, as a side note, he said he WASN'T conceited!!!)

E.A.D. said...

@CutnJump: "Just laugh thinking he is the community doorknob- everyone has a turn and how they will all wonder just how the hell they contracted_________ (disease of choice) since they are too drunk to remember having groped and slurped on the guy- just like every other horney, drunk broad in the room."

I always like a good helping of schadenfreude. /evil laugh. And I'll take your advice about sitting in the back of the room. If I were still in school, this would make for one hell of a research paper.

@Mari: "I dated someone whose IM name was CaptainConceido (and, as a side note, he said he WASN'T conceited!!!)" - oh yeah, big red flag there. It's like when someone says something insulting and then adds, "Just kidding". Sometimes, it's not a joke at all.

Anonymous said...

Agreed with Cal and Fugly. Two men together isn't sexy. Hate to be a spoiler, but almost every girl I've met who's into that is over 200 pounds and sees gay men as a little more than just another average human being.

Anonymous said...

ya all know hes a total butterface, except a him.

Anonymous said...

Beak fucked? Hahahahaha.

Jessica said...

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Albatross said...

Hello - new reader here, and loving every minute of it! I must say that, for me, the thought of two guys doing it is pretty hot. That is, if they're both young and good-looking.

Anyway, Eric's got a nice ass, but why on earth would any woman want to stand by and watch him get off on his surfboard??

Unknown said...

If the surf does that kind of body I want a boyfriend who then practiced the sport of surfing ...Pharmacy No Prescription

Anonymous said...

1.) This is the first time in my entire life that I have ever felt sorry for a surfboard.

2.) If you think it's only unattractive/ over weight women into slash, that's just silly. Yes, I'm sure some of them are. Just like some of them are fourteen your old girls, middle aged women with kids and a husband, and some of them are like me (125lbs, engaged, a guy I work with got fired because he wouldnt stop hitting on me, etc..., ) Point is, it's all types and saying it's just girls who cant get laid or whatever is just ignorant and insulting.

3.) The hat was the first thing I noticed.