Monday, June 30, 2008
Two Weeks Notice
I'd like to thank the well-over 1,500 of you who visited the offices of WWHM for the first time over this past weekend.
I got a terrific response from the mortified female citizens of this country who didn't realize that summer brings out the legions of "men" whose best-thought-out attempt at attracting a female mate involved stuffing their bison-sized penises into a mason jar full of sliced peaches, taking pictures, and posting them all over the hundreds of public dating boards across the internet juxtaposed with elegant prose such as "Cum aND GiT my dicK U now yu Wnt 2."
This, my friends, is Why Women Hate Men.
Unfortunately, I must bid you adieu until July 10, as I'm shutting down the WWHM corporate offices located in the alley just behind Wing C of Tom's Discount Fowl Rendering Plant in lovely downtown Dubuque, Iowa, in order to respond to a query from some fine folks in Los Angeles.
I understand the timing is poor, but I will come back refreshed, and perhaps even inspired, and certainly anxious to get back to my desk job of resizing cock pics, developing infantile storylines, and concocting weak-footed analogies.
Until then, I command you to subscribe to my posts and to stay off the internet dating boards. I am your only conduit to safety. You need me.
I received a stack of emails while I was out of town this weekend, and I can't possibly get to them all before my departure, and for that I apologize. But I will check my email daily in Los Angeles, and welcome you all to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I LOVE hearing from you guys, so if you laugh at all, I'm expecting an email. That's how you pay me back.
And per Grumpy's request, please see my new sidebar for additional works from WWHM's failed first venture, as well as some FAQ.
Thank you for subscribing to WWHM. Here's some new posts, make sure you share WWHM with all your friends (minus the Mormons) (Ed. note: Fuck it, send it to the Mormons too), and I fucking love you guys!