Ladies, would you like to make love to me? I'm not crazy in bed, I just want to feel what its like to be with a woman again, nothing wild. I have normal tastse in bed, not too much, I have a normal orgasm face and I dont make too much noise, hope your'e the same, live in quiet duplex. You have a normal orgasm face?
I've never heard of any guy having an orgasm face that didn't resemble a braying pack mule trying to dislodge a package of dried soup crackers from the back of its throat while getting knuckle-punched in the spleen.
That's a normal orgasm face, stupid.
But, hey, I'm sure women are turned on by your "I'm waiting for the bus" face.
12 comments:
Well, seeing how he has forgotten what being with a woman feels like, I could entirely believe that maybe he has never actually HAD an orgasm. “When she took her Wal-Mart Greeter Vest off I got so excited I peed my pants. That’s an orgasm right?”
Damn, I was almost first.
I personally like a good "O face" i like to know i'm doing something right. Poor guy, he's clueless
Hey, Mr. Born to Be Mild, would you like to see my "My legs are so fucking itchy in this summer heat, I just ripped skin off in six-inch strips" face?
Or, how about my "I ate too much Mexican food, and I've had burning, explosive diarrhea for ten hours straight" face?
Can I take your retching sound as a "No," then?
How does he know he has a normal O face? Does he have a mirror in one hand and a grip on himself with the other?
Does he take snapshots to compare faces later on?
What does he consider normal???
Scary answers to those questions. I'm sure of it.
And I love the part about how he hopes you're quiet too because he lives in a quiet duplex! Dude, real men WANT the neighbors to know they're having sex. They get off on the jealousy of the unhappily married 48 year old guy next door who hasn't gotten any since the Clinton administration.
What a pussy.
NORMAL O HA HA HA HA HA.
I wondered about the mirror too. Does he practice in front of one? How does he compare himself to other O-faces?
I bet he's one of those guys who sits on a bench next to some steps or near a bridge so he can peek up skirts while jacking off. Nobody knows it though because of his quiet O-Face.
Perv-O
Many men complain that women don't make enough noise during sex, so they don't know if they're having a good time.
I happen to LIKE a man who doesn't just lie there like a corpse, who actually gets rather enthusiastic about the whole sex act.
I enjoy energetic sex, and I expect a man to at least make SOME kind of noise when he comes. If he's going to imitate a mannequin, that'll be the first AND last time we do the nasty.
Pussy is right, Fugs. I bet his handshake is just as limp as his dick.
If the sight of his overhanging gut doesn't turn you off, his quiet unenthusiastic lovemaking will.
OMG lol... I thought you wrote "euthanasiac" lovemaking.
(snort)
"a braying pack mule trying to dislodge a package of dried soup crackers from the back of its throat while getting knuckle-punched in the spleen."
hahahaha! that's great weasel!
I gotta agree with Fugs-
Normal men want the neighbors to hear SOME noise. That's also why they carry a box of plugs or pads through the store like a trophy! To let others know- "I HAVE A WOMAN!" (She might be a miserable PITA to live with, but she's in my house and I no longer have to look.)
There may be the reason the walls of a duplex, condo or appartment are thin. After all, most construction workers are MEN...
And yes, I bet his handshake is as limp as his wrists and his dick!
"a braying pack mule trying to dislodge a package of dried soup crackers from the back of its throat while getting knuckle-punched in the spleen."
*sitting here laughing helplessly because, darn it, that visual just rings too true*
Thanks for the posts, Weasel, I was having WWHM withdrawal.
Thanks FHOTD for linking to this blog! It almost feels like a FHOTD reunion reading the comments here.
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