WANTED: SNUGGLE BUNNY!!!So much cold weather lately has got this lad missing having a snuggle bunny to curl up with. Don't you wish you had the soft, warm touch all over your body while being gently caressed and kissed? If so, read on!
My bunny looks cute (in everything) & loves to snuggle & has a soft nice relaxing voice (don't want ear screeching when we're snuggling) & available to snuggle as early as this weekend. Color of fur, tail size, floppy ears, doesn't concern me!
I love all types of movies, lots of hobbies, great listener, love to bunny hop(dance), listen to music, nature walk, walk on the waterfront at sunset holding hands followed by dinner at a nice restaurant of your liking........ This bunny is 21, handsome, cute, funny, sensitve, six feet tall, and has been described as having "lovely" hazel eyes who gives a really warm hugs!
Please bmail (bunny mail) with a picture and lets hop from there. This bunny's selections criteria is the cutest little furry bunny tail and smile. Being a great kisser adds bunnypoints!!! Jason xxxxxxxx @ xxxxxx.com
Ladies and gentleman, sometimes WWHM feels our poor readers deserve a break.
A break from the flavorless buffet of impotent assclowns who pepper the internet with personal ads surmising that all a woman requires to be happy in this world is a semi-hard dick, a milk crate to sit on, and a new ironing board every Christmas. A break from the braying, mouse-cocked barn mules who soak internet bulletin boards with their obese and hair-matted torsos, cursing the supermodels of the world for not promptly attending to their untrimmed toenails. And if you think WWHM is bad now, just wait until Google releases OdorBlogger v. 1.0. During WWHM test runs, the unbridled and freewheeling aromas of uncleansed male taint forced us to gasp for fresh air by plowing our deep-green faces into the bloated and unforgiving carcass of a decomposing narwhal full of undigested piling barnacles.
So today WWHM thought we'd throw our readers for a loop by showcasing the softer side of male personal ads. Personal ads that force upon you the cruelest irony of sexual attraction. When WWHM finally features an ad that nary mentions balls, the first question on many women's minds is “Jesus Christ, where are his fucking balls?” That collective yawn you just heard was 18 million vaginas tuning in to "The Hills."
His balls have recessed into his body cavity, making a delicious and deep-toned slurping sound as they did so. And when a man loses his balls he becomes a pussy, so with Jason you will have effectively have two pussies. One pussy to carry in your pants for solo pole-gnawing orgasms, and the other pussy to carry your purse, who, if he's lucky, may provide an occasional halfgasm that causes you to squeak briefly in the same manner a trained dolphin might beg for a beachball.
Women enjoy surrendering to rabid animal attraction, but that animal is rarely going to be a bunny with floppy ears. A bear, a lion, perhaps even a mild-mannered rock ape if there's a couple of large beers involved. My point is Jason has emasculated himself beyond the point of redemption for most women. Snuggling is great, but not when he wakes you up in the middle of the night to say one or more of the following:
“I'm so excited for the parade tomorrow I can barely sleep!”
“Who doesn't get excited by the springtime aroma of freshly dried bath towels?”
“Boy I love the way these cotton sock garters hold both my socks equidistant from my kneecaps.”
WWHM realizes we will catch some flak for posting this ad, but many readers forget that WWHM is written by man, and a man sometimes has to call it as he sees it. And this man sees another man who lanced his fucking testicles to find a woman who in the long run will demand he produce exactly that which he lanced to find her. A man who irons his jeans and weeps during life insurance commercials. A man who giggles eating pudding and sits when he pees.
I think my sister put it best.
"My pussy has so much gravitational pull I can suck Orson Welles out of a pool drain," she said. "But if that pansy motherfucker put his hand anywhere near my panties he'd have to consult a pirate how to put a rubber pussy on a hook."
Well said, sis. Well said.
I put it into the hands of WWHM readers. Would you respond to this ad?
(Ed: For inquiring minds, that is the picture he posted with the ad. Weasel says: SOFT!)
144 comments:
Not my cup of tea!
Sadly, I totally would. It's cute, different and entertaining. I would at least want to check him out because you know what bunnies are the best at :-)
He sounds more high maintenance than I am. If I wanted that, I'd date another woman and at least have boobehs to play with and some fine fine oral sex, coupled with fists small enough to go the distance.
Nope. That's too many creepy contrived bunny-related plays on words for one personal ad. I think it's the "cutest little furry bunny tail" part that really freaks me out.
On a similar note, I seem to be some comically awful superhero with the power of disarming even the most hotly assertive men and reducing them to blubbering creatures who just want to snuggle with me. What the hell.
Poly- the second part is one of the funniest comments I've seen in a while.
...except that it's crushingly true! :(
i think the creepiest thing about this guy is how proud he must have felt at ads completion at how many bunny-puns he was able to fit in.
the thing this guy hasnt put together is that while some females might like rabbits and bunnies and other soft creatures, if given the option to 'snuggle' with one... They'd opt out.
millie
I think it's marginally better than the "49 y.o. obese unemployed man living with his parents seeks 18-21 y.o. submissive Giselle Bundchen type for fellatio and cleaning duties" ads, but I still would not respond.
After living with an actual cotton tail rabbit in my room for the past several months I can tell you the last thing I want in my bed is something with long ears and a furry tail. They also happen to have wicked sharp claws and freak out at the slightest quick movement. Besides the fact that ass hair is not really attractive, I would rather make stew out of any rabbit other than the current one and I'm mostly certain that I'm not into cannibalism.
If he'd left it with just the headline, I might have responded (its damn cold up where I live now in the middle of the winter).
And then half way into the second line, he reveals that he's really only looking for someone to fuck.
After that, it just gets creepy.
"Color of fur, tail size, floppy ears, doesn't concern me!" Wtf?! This isnt your local PetPerverts HQ, ffs!
And whats up with "lovely hazel eyes who gives a really warm hugs" ?! How does that work??
*stifling peals of hysterical laughter so my boss won't walk in here*
I guess it might be nice to have a snuggle bunny around, but who would I fuck?
Five Alarm Snooze Fest!!
Don't get me wrong, I am a shameless cuddler, as is my boyfriend, but there is a HUGE difference between what you want in a man in and outside the bedroom... this guy sounds like he'd be one of those disgusting saps who'd not know when to turn the baby talk off, call you "Schnooky Wookie Honey Buns" when you're out for drinks and make all your friends shoot Cosmos through their noses.
Bunnies as snuggly? Nopers.
They're vicious, homicidal little maniacs who'd rather bite and claw you than snuggle. If they had opposable thumbs, they'd carry switchblades.
Just 'cause something looks "kyoot" doesn't make it nice.
Other than that, this guy's ad just makes me wanna hurl. I already have ONE pussy in my pants; I sure as heck don't need another!
The only pansies I like are the kind you plant in a flower bed.
FAIL!
At first I read this as someone looking for a 'furry', but then I realized he's just a putz.
I always think these ads are bullshit or the guys gay.
I don't want a liar and I don't want to discover my boyfriend has dumped me for my cousin Steve. There is the possibility the guys legit.
Either way, it's strikes out all around.
Oh man the first sentence wasn't too bad. It actually sounds like maybe, just maybe, he'd be a decent catch. That and I like to snuggle myself :)
The rest of the ad - Holy Christmas, I don't mind men being in touch with the softer side, but this one does indeed sound like a pussy - a psychotic pussy that was let out of the asylum only because he fooled all the doctors into believing he really was over his OCD, manic depression, and that obsession with the pretty lady from down the street. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought "furry" when reading this ad.
The first paragraph was cute, but he carried it waaaaay too far. Besides, he ends with the same sort of BS that most ads end with, demonstrating he is not the sensitive nadless guy he pretends to be -- he'll only cuddle with the "cutest" bunny. Jerk.
Nope. Never. EVER.
I got bit by a bunny once...approx 30 years ago. And I still remember it like it was yesterday. Blood and tears. Haven't been near a bunny since.
You hit the nail on the head. The guy is a pussy and not someone I'd want defending me at our local road house.
OK, I would expect this from some desperate guy in his mid forties who had tried every other approach and decided to go the "sensitive route." This is not the type of ad you should get from someone who is only 21. Seriously, if he's desperate, just go to a frat party. he'll find something drunk enough to get with him there. There is no reason to castrate yourself like this at such a young age.
Also, while I do like my guy to have a sensitive side, I also want to know that he could kick the ass of someone trying to kidnap me in a dark alley. Somehow, I don't think this guy could do it.
What 21 year old talks like this? That's my question.
I think the dude is totally pre-whipped by mommy and so in the closet, you wouldn't have to do much more than open the damn door.
Sounds like this guy is advertising for the wrong crowd. He needs to consider a Furry website. Furries are people with a sexual fetish that includes dressing up in animal costumes, acting like the animals they dress up as, and if the mood hits them, having sex while in animal drag. Creepy does not begin to describe it!
I read this and thought "ROAD KILL!"
I smell furry. Not a chance in hell.
I'm in agreement - the first line is kinda cute, but after that... HURL!!! He goes wayyyy too far with the bunny analogy. What a pussy.
Besides, I'm allergic to rabbits.
As has been mentioned, this guy is a furry. Bless you if that's what you're into. If not, run like hell.
Ick...he makes me feel all grimey.
why do i get the feeling this asshole is banned from the Warner Brothers lot?
if i wanted to fuck a bunny i would have taken the chance last Easter.
Nita, I’m with you. I can practically picture his mommy smoochie-goochie-ing all over his belly as an adolescent, playing three little pigs with his toes when she takes him out of the bathtub on his 21st birthday.
What came to my mind was a mom like Mrs. Livingstone (Swoozie Kurtz as Jake Gyllenhaall’s mother in “Bubble Boy”). The overprotective, vitamin-rich, soy-based, germ-free, fat-free fiber cookies baking, fairy tale-reading off-her-rocker mother … “And then Pinocchio came out of his plastic bubble and touched the filthy little whore next door and died. The End!”
Everyone, including the writer of the blog, is missing that this guy is only writing what he thinks women will find cute. Cloaked in too many bunny references is this: he's a condescending jerk that will try to get in your pants as soon as you walk through the door. He's not overly sappy- he is pretending to be in order to get a woman.
But to the anonymous fellow or lady directly above me...guys obviously do this, but I don't get how anyone thinks it would work. If I want a smattering of sickeningly cute animal behaviors, I'll literally buy a bunny. This is, in fact, probably the last thing I'd ever want to hear from a guy. Hell, if I'd let him in my pants, he'd probably just claim to want to snuggle with my ladyparts.
Anon- thats exactly what I was implying when I said he had lanced his balls to attract a woman.
I can't fathom any man would write this fluffy crap unless he thought that's exactly what a woman would want to hear.
Overly sappy or bizarre way to cloak sex lust? I say both. I smell a furry looking for a fuck.
If he wasn't and this is some guy's idea of being romantic than I'd rather sniff Narwhal innards, thank you very much. I most certainly would not respond either way. What he needs to do is dress up in snakeskin instead and get a latex-clad Texas chick to re-enact this: Don't mess with Texas... rabbits. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AMjz5Jc53Y
I can hardly imagine what floated through this pansy's head to make him write this. One thing is for sure, he's definitely not going to attract any Playboy bunnies with this ad. Heck, I don't think he could even grab the interest of a horny lady cottontail. But I would be very happy to slug this ball-less loser with one of the dead cottontails that I shoot with my 22.
His snuggly-wuggly bunny crap might draw a response from me, but only to tell this undersized rabbit dick to go ram a nice soft bunny-sized dildo up his cute fuzzy bunny ass.
Oh, and in case this miserable fuck didn't know (and he obviously knows rabbit turds about how to turn a woman on), rabbits do not have soft, cuddly voices. They squeak and screech, especially when they're scared. I think this s***sack just terrified every bunny within 10,000 miles.
Oh, and the cotton sock garter thing is just too good, Weasel.
Ohhh, I have gooseflesh. Besides the painful "bunny" puns the sinister undertones of (ostensibly) looking for only a cute, quiet girl who wants to "cuddle" make me run screaming "serial killer!".
Maybe I watch too much TV. Too much MURDER TV.
Christ. The first line was cute-ish, but after that?
I really, really don't think so.
Am I the only one who pictures him as the guy who played Kirsten Dunst's blonde boyfriend in Bring It On??
>>They squeak and screech, especially when they're scared.<<
Mine makes a distinct clicking noise when he's irritated.
And that video of the rabbit after the snake is hilarious. I can totally see my rabbit doing that. Do you know how accurate those damn things are when they kick with their back feet?
I love this blog but the way you portray "pussy" as a negative, weak thing is a bit insulting to your female readers. This is a problem when the blog seems to be aimed at women.
I have to agree with your sister. My pussy dried up faster than a spring rain in a desert. All I could picture was a couple in bunny costume on a date. When I started reading I thought he was looking for a furry costume fetish girl.
My first instinct is "Furry Alert!" but then I read farther and realized... he's just a very sad, pathetic pussy.
As my good buddy D says, "There are two kinds of men in this world: Men who are outies, and men who are innies" (Pussies).
This gentleman is clearly an innie.
And nobody wants a gentleman who is actually GENTLE.
I collect bunnies - I think that says it all.
Well Weaz, I get where you're coming from, and what the intention of this ad is. However, I raise rabbits. The last time I put my doe rabbit in w/ the buck for their every-few-months night 'o fun, my God, he didn't let her alone! Yes bunnies do it quick, but he must have been at her 100 times or more that night, judging by how they were getting it on EVERY time I went by the barn. Poor dear--she must have been exhausted by morning...
Who knows what Jason is thinking? ;)
some bunny needs to grow a pair.
Been reading but never commented till now. This goes along with what was on the radio this afternoon as i was trying not to fishtail my car on this damn road they always forget to plow. Anyways...
They asked on the radio for ladies to call in and share if they could date a sensitive guy/cryer.
Most the answers were HELL NO! And i have to agree. If i wanted sensitivity i'd be a lesbian. I want a manly man. I dont even want flowers and sweet nothings. Thats all bullshit. I want real. I could never date a guy that talks of cuddling or even says the word "bunny." And if he cries over anything besides something bein dead or dying then i get the creeps. Guys should not be water spouts. They should not say cute things. Give me a football watchin beer belchin guy any day over that shit.
Charlotte- I respect your opinion, but "pussy" is a generally accepted word for a soft guy. I don't use it to denigrate an actual pussy, I use it because its common lingo. Period. I don't research or mull over the double meanings behind the words I use- I just write.
I think everyone that has been reading WWHM for a long time knows me well enough to know that I don't put down women. The word "pussy" is easily the most used word in the comments of WWHM, and men AND women use it interchangeably to refer to actual pussies and male "pussies". Referring to it one way does not automatically constitute "putting it down" the other way.
I have a huge feminist following, and I don't think that would have happened had I been insulting women all along.
WWHM never has been, nor will it ever be politically correct. It is what it is. Everyone is going to be offended by the stuff I write at times, but thats what you have to expect if you read WWHM.
Once again, I totally respect your opinion, but you can't read that much into WWHM or you won't enjoy the blog. It's a politically incorrect comedy blog, not a political statement in any capacity.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that if WWHM was politically correct all along, I'd have maybe 4 readers by now.
Anyway, just getting a thought off my head. You can always email me if you want to discuss it more.
That goes for anyone else to- you can always email me if you think I crossed the line. I may not change anything, but I'd be happy to tell my side.
The Weasel
You hit the nail on the head Weas... we're like Goldilocks, we don't want our men too "hard" or too "soft" we want them juuuuust riiiight.
I think he sounds like a fucking dork. But then, I make no secret of my attraction to highly intelligent, unpredictable alpha male assholes. Hey, everybody has a type!
He kind of sounds like a nice boyfriend for the kind of nice girl who wants to grow up and get married and have six children and spend her free time scrapbooking and making casseroles for the church pot-luck.
Damn fugly- you need to be writing this blog.
Someday I'm going to make you write a piece on here. And then put on a helmet.
I seriously think that was posted by my ex.
His name is even Jason.
I'm with Fugs on this. I could never be even remotely turned on by a guy like this. Cuddling? Meh. I could take it or leave it. If my arm doesn't fall asleep, and I'm not too warm, and we're not still sweaty from sex and... then maybe for a few minutes it's okay. But I'll continue to be the masochist attracted to the brilliant but emotionally distant charmers. They're always better kissers anyway.
I smell closet furry. And it stinks.
He kind of sounds like a nice boyfriend for the kind of nice girl who wants to grow up and get married and have six children and spend her free time scrapbooking and making casseroles for the church pot-luck.
~~~~~~~
Good Lord, I know people like this...scary.
I too thought this was some sort of euphemism for furry sex. If not...squish.
Gawd! I just want to puke. That was so uber sappy and lame, my gag reflex is in overdrive.
I give him an A for effort. But I still wouldn't respond. I'm not that sweet a person.
One old boyfriend used to call me JiggleBunny. Jeepers.
The more I read this, the more I'm beginning to suspect that he's got a secret collection of body someplace. You know, from all the previous girls who didn't measure up to his little fantasies. If anyone has played Silent Hill, then you'll know what I'm talking about when I say this demented possible-furry would be very much at home there.
There is a hypocritical and contradictary message inherent in this and most female-centric blogs: a strong desire to not be judged by darwininan feminine gender standards, while simultaneously feeling justified in harshly judging men who fail to live up to darwininan masculine gender standards.
When a woman acts "butch" or has stereotypical masculine or atypical interests, and men ridicule or ostracize her for it, they are called sexist. Yet if a man (such as the one in this ad) has more stereotypical feminine or atypical behaviors or interests, he is fair game for gender based humiliation from the same modern womyn who claim to reject gender based judgements. Not only is this hypocritical, but it would seem to perpetuate the very "patriarchal gender system" they are ostensibly against (men who are shamed for lacking gender will retaliate by increasing gender based shaming of women, as well as behaving in a a more gendered fashion).
Speaking as a Gen-x aged male who grew up entirely under feminism, IMO, feminists and modern womyn are not egalitarian and never were; they are narcissitic and obsessed with alpha male status so much so that they wish to become "female alpha males" themselves. They view men as success objects (but won't admit it), and their frustations with men come mostly from not being desired for the same qualities they desire in men (men desire youthful feminine beauty objects, and freely admit it).
Ironically (or perhaps not so ironically) all of the typical comments modern womyn and feminists use to "sissy shame" men, e.g. "whiny", "pussy", "closet homo", "can't get laid", "little dick", "misogynist", "loser who lives with mommy/daddy" reveal a visceral hatred for men who possess less or imperfectly gendered characteristics (beta and omega males, the lower 80% of all men) while simultaneously exposing visceral attraction and approval for the upper 20% of alpha males who possess the ideal masculine gendered characteristics, which the beta/omega "sissy" men in womyn's shaming language are implied to lack: macho physical qualities such as height and a large penis; dominant social behavior such as extroversion, confidence and aggression; social status, fame, popularity; a stud who can easily "get laid" by many beautiful unattached sex partners; "winner" with status/money/homes/cars and not some "weirdo" who is childishly/girlishly/freakishly dependent upon parents or women for financial or other support.
Note that such female sentiments manifest themselves most vividly in romance novels/soaps/chick-flicks, which are mostly written by women for women to appeal to a wide female audience. The "special" (ie. narcissitic, grandiose, entitled) female heroine who "submits", is "ravished" and "swept away" by a dominant alpha male hero is the archetypical female sexual fantasy. Such repetitive, recurring themes and fantasies reveal the hardwired sexual programming of the female brain.
In conclusion: Modern womyn's (overt and covert, direct and implied, individual and collective) behavior, choices, preferences and sentiments are surprisingly consistent with the primitive darwinian values feminists are supposedly against. This evidence both serves to reinforce evolutionary psychology's central thesis regarding sex and gender, while simultaneously exposing the self-serving false reality feminism is built upon.
Well, this is what modern (especially American) women get from modern men living in this disgustingly feminized society where man-hate is a national pastime - happy now with all of the 'freedom' you can now indulge in?
Sanjay, what does that have to do with the price of rice in china? Past your first sentence you go off into a long winded discourse on feminism (misspelling women along the way). Great grand and wonderful, the world is not fair and people get twisted ideas in their heads on how things are supposed to work. Weasel already said that there is no political correctness around here.
In short, what was your point?
Sanjay
It would be so much easier if we could all just hate men and be lesbians, but that's not the case. Love em/ hate em, sometimes at the same time, it can be a muddled mess. And are we hard-wired for certain preferences, maybe. Then again, maybe not. If you're using romance novels as your source material, there's your problem.
CJ
What turns us on atavistically is the alpha-male--the confident aggressive strong man who can give us healthy babies and perpetuate the species. But while plenty of women will happily sleep with an alpha-male jerk, the one they want to take home is probably a beta, who will provide a pleasant and secure environment and assist in raising the offspring.
This doesn't preclude us making fun of all men any more than it precludes them making fun of women. We're all fair game.
As far as this "snuggle bunny" idiot goes, it's clear that his "snuggling" terminology is simply a cover for "I want to fuck someone cute" - he makes that clear in his descriptions of his ideal "bunny". The fact that he's couching his desires in phraseology that he thinks will make women melt at his feet, is why he's being made fun of. He's either what he seems, in which case he's beyond the "omega" stage and isn't going to get any (any more than omega wolves in a pack get any), or he's a liar and possible serial killer and who wants either of those?
Feminism aside, the passive and bizarre ways and means by which guys attempt to get laid are funny, often pathetic. As Weasel and others have pointed out, this website isn't politically correct, and mocking this fellow's snuggle-bunny post is exactly what the site is for.
You don't like it, Sanjay, you don't gotta read it. Just don't be lecturing the rest of us for having our fun. :)
Sanjay, you're missing the point (several, actually).
The women reading this blog, as a group, tend toward smart, snarky, self assured women. Alpha females, to use your terms. The men featured in the blog tend toward the desperate, pathological, and creepy. Not the cream of the crop, nor the massive average, these are the bottom of the barrel.
If Weasel was posting about well-balanced, moderately intelligent, middle of the pack men, most the women (not womyn, wombyn or any other false-PC bullshit) here would not be hostile to them. Thus, they are never seen on WhyWomenHateMen. They are not the sort of men women hate. The whole premise of this blog is to point out the many ways men stumble (or faceplant) in their attempts to attract a woman.
And yes, men look for beauty objects, but what you're hearing from most the women here is that smart is sexy. This man is not smart, he's devious, and we see through his lies.
And lastly, for your belief that all women want an alpha male asshole, please go see how they lit into that successful asshole featured on Dr. Phil (I've forgotten his name). There is no universal attractant.
Sanjay, unsolicited dicks are not wanted here. Please take your limp, ugly wiener elsewhere unless you want to make a humorous comment or post a personal ad for us to make fun of.
We're here to have fun, not to debate philosophy, psychology, or politics, for crissake. If that were the case, Weas, you really would have 4 readers.
Hey, Weasel, if you're serious about the Fugly crossover blog, she could do a special on how our mothers think "horses" are a phase until we get interested in boys, and how wrong that is. Horses make fabulous first impressions.
SAnjay, neither extreme works for me--neither the alpha-male-types, nor the overly clingy, uber-sensitive types. I've dated both, and I like neither.
I believe that most every other woman frequenting this blog has similar feelings.
Thank you for mansplaining that to us Sanjay. Why if you didn't explain it to my tiny female mind, I would still be in the dark on what I and every other women look for in a man.
Instead of typing a whole page lecture, please go deal with your mommy issues and troll elsewhere.
And while your at it stop acting like a gigantic condescending asshole to compensate for your tiny microscopic penis.
Sanjay = troll that needs to put the thesaurus down and probably spent more time than what was needed writing out that pathetic post than what was necessary to try to make us all look like moronic fools.
Big strike out for me? Know it all men. That is the most unattractive thing (almost) you could throw at me.
It was nauseatingly cute..and I wouldn't respond to it, because I would probably say something that destroyed his mental state.
And for some reason, I can picture this guy dancing around to music in Hello Kitty panties, cuddling a giant teddy bear.
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Ummm, Sanjay, none of my male cyclist friends have ever had a bunch of women in a car whiz by and yell, "Hey baby, nice ass!" out the window at them. So until the day comes that I don't have to restrain myself from chasing down the guys who do that crap to me and busting out their windows with my u-lock, Weasel is king! Oh, or if women start doing that to guys that's cool I guess. Then we're equal and I take Weasel's crown from him.
A generation ago feminists argued that men and women were the same, and that men imposed femininity on women to oppress them.
Since then modern science and cultural reality has revealed that men and women are not the same, but opposites who are hardwired to idealize gender (femininity and masculinity, respectively) in the opposite sex, and that these ideals when taken to extremes can compel both to impose oppressive standards upon the other. Additionally, due to possessing opposite sets of physical and mental strengths and weaknesses on average, perfect equality of outcomes between men and women as feminists envisioned it is impossible.
Thus only an equitable and fair (though imperfectly equal) society is possible, but only if BOTH genders (not just men) moderate their ideals and expectations.
However most modern womynz don't seem to get this concept. As we see with blogs such as this one, while most modern womynz are foul-mouthed, quasi-macho, aggressive, promiscuous, un-ladylike, status hungry "she-dudes" (i.e., not ideally feminine) they STILL expect men to be ideally masculine or whatever you wish us to be on any given day.
My comeback for your "I already have a pussy, I don't need another one" could very well be "I already have a dick, I don't need another one." The point is, if women want the right to act in non-feminine ways, then they cannot be upset when men act in non-masculine ways. If you want men to be more ideally masculine, then women must be more ideally feminine.
Remember that it is YOU modern womynz who drill all sorts of ambiguous and contradictary messages into our heads. Men are told to be sensitive, equal and careful with women lest we be accused of sexism, stalking, harassment and rape on one day; then we are ridiculed for being wimpy, unassertive and overly respectful the next day. YOUR feminazi legal system routinely destroys many a man whose only sin was in failing to magically "know" which set of rules to follow on any given day.
Thus, for most guys (aside from outlaw bad boys who have nothing to lose) it is far better to be safe (mushy, overly nice, submissive) than sorry (overly macho or dominant and risk crossing the the invisible lines).
So, instead of sitting around bitching and laughing at the men in these ads - who, after all are only struggling to make sense of YOUR system and YOUR rules - perhaps YOU should look in the mirror.
Goddess forbid that any of you should have sons one day; maybe THEN you will begin to understand what the "whiny, nice guy pussies" like myself are whining about.
Happy passive-aggressive day Sanjay.
Here's a tip: a woman isn't a prize you get for acting "nice" (and being sappy and corny isn't feminine, it's just really cloying). FYI, I know plenty of nice women who were overlooked by men--the same men who whine that they can't get girlfriends. These women did what normal people (read: not narcissistic dumpster cheese) do: they moved on. You really should try it sometime, cupcake.
If this guy wanted an ad that would work, there's nothing wrong with say, posting about what he's like and what he's looking for in a girlfriend or a one-night partner, sans the off-putting mush and overdone puns. Without being, you know, entitled, desperate, or ridiculously corny. (And seriously? If you think that fluffy bunnies are "feminine" it's no wonder you are reduced to humping the cyber legs of the women who visit this blog.)
The problem with bitter man-children who can't get laid is that you all go from one extreme to the other, because you think that woman=vending machine and that we owe you a fuck or a relationship when you put the coins in and push the buttons. And that if we don't like it, and continue to act like human beings, we are oppressing you and that Andrea Dworkin is rising from the grave to prevent you from getting laid. God forbid you morons treat women like they are people. Nah, better to try some ridiculous attempts at manipulating us and then engaging in the Nice Guy Whine when you don't the pony you insist you are entitled to.
I'd be willing to bet that this guy just tried the usual "WWHM" route on other ads with no success, and he now swung the pendulum way too far in the other direction.
There's no way he's really like this, just no way.
I thik I'm in love.
I thik I'm in love.
I think my primary issue with this ad is that the "puns" are not actually puns. He's just saying 'bunny' a lot. Also, what's with the "ear-screeching" comment? Next!
It's almost tragic, how many men I've met who sound just like this guy.
Here's the thing: I don't even like to hang out with women with all the raw, ambitious, life-loving passion of peach-kiwi sock drawer sachets; I definitely don't want to fuck such a man.
I always figure it's fake, at first. I figure that it's a guy's idea of what women like--it's just the misleading facade he expects will work.
There have been times when I've said, rolling my eyes good-naturedly, "All right, cut the act, you're not going to get into my pants by demonstrating you have nothing to get into them with. I LIKE a little bit of 'man' with my men."
He'd look at me incredulously.
And that's when it'd hit me.
OH. He really DOES think the Smurfs are tear-jerkingly adorable. OH. He really DID start bawling loudly at the theater when Stitch said, "I'm lost!" in Lilo and Stitch. OH. He really DOES think I'm a 'capitalist pig' because my career goals extend past managing a Coldstone Creamery.
OH. He really DOESN'T have anything to get into my pants with.
OH.
Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy makes me wanna frow up.
Reading these comments have actually made me angry. Yes, the guy way overdid the bunny thing, but the way you ladies are acting it's as though he did something bad. He posted a message asking for a "snuggle bunny". So it's not your cup of tea? Bit sickly sweet? Sure. No problem. But judging him as a "pussy" is so... well, bitchy!
I'm intersexed, so maybe I'm not female enough to understand why you want to judge so harshly a man that *OMG* doesn't stick to a binary prescribed gender role. But from my standpoint, I see this sort of thing play out so often and wonder WHY.
We're all human beings. This guy isn't an ass, or at least he doesn't present as one (obviously, one would need to get to know him before making an actual judgement). He may not be your type, but his post WAS notable enough to gain attention, which was really the purpose of so much flowery cuteness, I'm sure. What I don't get is... what's the problem? Or even, what's YOUR problem?
I am a feminist... but clearly not the same kind as you ladies.
the bunny ad was pretty funny.
is it just me, or is it hard to read a whole sentence of the blogger?
the verbal vomit cascading from the facade of effervescent mound of mountain dew west virginia cult of the sun god blah blah blah [is it the next sentence yet?] blah blah blah.
sanjay, there is some truth in all of that. our culture has been crafted by a few very wealthy men (who own the central banks of the world) through the media. this culture was crafted to create a bunch of dysfunctional people who are less likely to build a strong family with lots of children. they are eugenists.
i'm guilty in the past of wanting only the alpha female or finding one close enough to craft into a alpha female.
eventually, i saw the error of my ways and slowly found more and more women attractive. i'm not even attracted to the alpha female anymore -- like they're a very plain and boring object.
i tried very hard to be a good boyfriend and to be successful with a good college degree and a career. eventually, i just quit everything. i'm not as good as i wanted to be and decided to stop trying.
i'm dysfunctional like the rest of the men and women reading this blog.
the guy was making a stupid personal ad. i think some of you read more into the personal ad than what was there. the way you attack sanjay also makes me conclude you're probably missing a few brain cells and prefer to live life through the media.
So... tell me more about this "sister."
As a couple people pointed out, cartoon bunnies may be "snuggly-wuggly," but real rabbits can be vicious, blood-thirsty beasts. I grew up on a farm, and knew rabbits that clawed each other's eyes out and routinely ate their young.
I also found the overbaked "cuteness" of the add revolting, but not because the guy is a pansy. That's an insult to pansies everywhere. Actual pansies can be extremely sexy... maybe it's the lure of forbidden fruit. No, the truly loathsome thing about this ad were the "furry" implications, and the evocation of rabbits in particular.
Am I the only one who has a primal horror of anthropomorphic rabbits? Movies like Donnie Darko and Inland Empire suggest not.
If he were the last man on earth, I would become a lesbian long before I responded to his ad.
So, an amazing 10 months after I read this post, I was perusing craigslist to amuse myself since there has been a sad lack of blogging. And, lo and behold, THIS VERY SAME AD showed up! So, being the heinous bitch that I am, I responded and called the tool out for lying. He didn't even change the waterfront (this is the middle of Virginia. No f'ing waterfronts here), or correct the typos, or, hey, change the personal description. He even used the bunny image!
He emails me back claiming its an original, despite my pointing out that I saw this ad on your blog. But that he likes my sense of humor. Hilariously stupid!
None of this makes sense, not a coherent reading...Pharmacy No Prescription
I suppose on the plus side, he did spell check it.
Based on that rarity alone, I might go as far as actually talking on the phone. But only in order to suss out the potential of beating all that bunny talk crap out of him in the hopes the rest might acceptable at public venues.
Maybe
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I thought it was quite sweet... I'm not sure he's deserving of the same sort of criticism you'd give some 60-year-old that's trying to get in an 18-year-old girl's pants!
This can't work in reality, that's what I think.
I've dated guys that turned out to be like this (ages 18 to 26, if you were wondering). Normal at first, but then, as they got comfortable, they started with this kind of stuff. Not necessarily about bunnies, but sweet to the point of causing diabetes. It would usually start with just a remark here and there, but as that was not enough to get me to reciprocate, it kept getting worse and worse.
The thing is, I'm not bothered by what is considered feminine behavior. It's just that there is a nagging impression that they were behaving like this for my benefit. It's as if they think that if they show how comfortable they are with this I will reveal my own deep desire for fluffy things.
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