WANTED: SNUGGLE BUNNY!!!
So much cold weather lately has got this lad missing having a snuggle bunny to curl up with. Don't you wish you had the soft, warm touch all over your body while being gently caressed and kissed? If so, read on!
My bunny looks cute (in everything) & loves to snuggle & has a soft nice relaxing voice (don't want ear screeching when we're snuggling) & available to snuggle as early as this weekend. Color of fur, tail size, floppy ears, doesn't concern me!
I love all types of movies, lots of hobbies, great listener, love to bunny hop(dance), listen to music, nature walk, walk on the waterfront at sunset holding hands followed by dinner at a nice restaurant of your liking........ This bunny is 21, handsome, cute, funny, sensitve, six feet tall, and has been described as having "lovely" hazel eyes who gives a really warm hugs!
Please bmail (bunny mail) with a picture and lets hop from there. This bunny's selections criteria is the cutest little furry bunny tail and smile. Being a great kisser adds bunnypoints!!! Jason xxxxxxxx @ xxxxxx.com
Ladies and gentleman, sometimes WWHM feels our poor readers deserve a break.
A break from the flavorless buffet of impotent assclowns who pepper the internet with personal ads surmising that all a woman requires to be happy in this world is a semi-hard dick, a milk crate to sit on, and a new ironing board every Christmas. A break from the braying, mouse-cocked barn mules who soak internet bulletin boards with their obese and hair-matted torsos, cursing the supermodels of the world for not promptly attending to their untrimmed toenails. And if you think WWHM is bad now, just wait until Google releases OdorBlogger v. 1.0. During WWHM test runs, the unbridled and freewheeling aromas of uncleansed male taint forced us to gasp for fresh air by plowing our deep-green faces into the bloated and unforgiving carcass of a decomposing narwhal full of undigested piling barnacles.
So today WWHM thought we'd throw our readers for a loop by showcasing the softer side of male personal ads. Personal ads that force upon you the cruelest irony of sexual attraction. When WWHM finally features an ad that nary mentions balls, the first question on many women's minds is “Jesus Christ, where are his fucking balls?” That collective yawn you just heard was 18 million vaginas tuning in to "The Hills."
His balls have recessed into his body cavity, making a delicious and deep-toned slurping sound as they did so. And when a man loses his balls he becomes a pussy, so with Jason you will have effectively have two pussies. One pussy to carry in your pants for solo pole-gnawing orgasms, and the other pussy to carry your purse, who, if he's lucky, may provide an occasional halfgasm that causes you to squeak briefly in the same manner a trained dolphin might beg for a beachball.
Women enjoy surrendering to rabid animal attraction, but that animal is rarely going to be a bunny with floppy ears. A bear, a lion, perhaps even a mild-mannered rock ape if there's a couple of large beers involved. My point is Jason has emasculated himself beyond the point of redemption for most women. Snuggling is great, but not when he wakes you up in the middle of the night to say one or more of the following:
“I'm so excited for the parade tomorrow I can barely sleep!”
“Who doesn't get excited by the springtime aroma of freshly dried bath towels?”
“Boy I love the way these cotton sock garters hold both my socks equidistant from my kneecaps.”
WWHM realizes we will catch some flak for posting this ad, but many readers forget that WWHM is written by man, and a man sometimes has to call it as he sees it. And this man sees another man who lanced his fucking testicles to find a woman who in the long run will demand he produce exactly that which he lanced to find her. A man who irons his jeans and weeps during life insurance commercials. A man who giggles eating pudding and sits when he pees.
I think my sister put it best.
"My pussy has so much gravitational pull I can suck Orson Welles out of a pool drain," she said. "But if that pansy motherfucker put his hand anywhere near my panties he'd have to consult a pirate how to put a rubber pussy on a hook."
Well said, sis. Well said.
I put it into the hands of WWHM readers. Would you respond to this ad?
(Ed: For inquiring minds, that is the picture he posted with the ad. Weasel says: SOFT!)