BAD BOY LOOKING FOR SOME ACTION
im fresh out of prison so dont be scared.im just a good guy who got caught up and robbed banks.no threat.im looking for a girl who wont be afraid to put it on me!im way horny and looking to wreck something!im on limited time so if there is a WOMAN out there and ur interested!hit me up and im there!! Lee
Ladies, let me tell you how horrible prison is.
Imagine getting powerfully fucked in the shower every day by an endless line of brawny, tattooed, dominant and faceless men who use you only to satiate their deepest and most instinctual sexual desires. It's a nightmare scenario that..... um....ok....... apparently we need a 5 minute break so you can all retrieve your vibrators.
Are you done yet? Geez, I haven't seen that many quivering lips since a hunter shot Bambi's mother.
Women seeking to get fucked like a common barn hen may enjoy a romp with a guy like Lee, who posted a personal ad seeking sex from someone who won't leave stubble burns on his thighs or pay him in Saltines. Lee just got out of prison, and would appreciate an opportunity to finally fuck something that doesn't laugh hysterically at farts. If you're up for the challenge, cover some plums with syrup, roll them in cat hair, and hang them from your uterine sponge. That way when he reaches down to tickle your balls, there won't be a stop in the action.
Lee hasn't seen a pussy in so long, he'd probably play Scrabble with it. The cramped confines of prison walls will do that to a man. Spending 7 years in a crowded and uncomfortable space, eating that horrible food, and dealing with such uncaring, brutal employees- imagine flying United Airlines for seven years, but throw in some confrontational ass-fucking. Thankfully for Lee, prison rarely sends your luggage to Guam and patronizes you with a fucking $5 Bartell's coupon.
Proceed with caution: a guy who hasn't been with a woman in seven years will attack your vagina like a threatened bear. Curlers, grannie panties, or Crocs- no antidote will deny his determination to live in the confines of your Levi's for at least a couple months. At work you'll walk around like you just rode a fat horse from Dallas to Fargo, because a guy fresh out of prison puts more miles on your crotch than Christmas puts on a FedEx truck in northern Manitoba.
And thanks for being honest, Lee, about the bank robberies- for a minute there we were concerned you might have committed some kind of crime or something.