Monday, October 13, 2008

WWHM Back In Your Face!

Hello ladies!

Did you miss me?

I have been thinking about you non-stop. So much so that I put on my grandmother's CountryWhore lingerie collection and went outside to anally violate a 1989 Toyota Land Cruiser doggy-style whilst whispering your name softly into my expired tabs.

It felt just like I was fucking you- without all the snoring.

But now you're here. Let me make love to you.

And don't worry if my penis smells a little like Valvoline 10W-40 high-mileage motor oil, because the viscosity is great for your vagina. Plus, it guards against leaks, sludge, and unwanted deposits- well, at least that's what it says on the easy-pour spout. Do you mind if I check you for leaks and sludge?

Fine ladies, I'll go take a shower instead. But just know this:

WWHM is back! And it's going to be worse than ever, and that's a promise!

We'll post the worst and strangest personal ads the internet has to offer- all served up by you, my beloved WWHM readers. What else do we have in store for the next few weeks?

We have an informative lesson on the penis coming up, plus an analysis of some sweet sex toys.

So stay tuned ladies, WWHM is making a comeback, just like those retarded kids they used to make after-school specials about.

And we're all going to learn a lesson about Why Women Hate Men.

New posts start tomorrow!

44 comments:

heelsdown said...

First of all-I really want an update when that guy nearly slices his penis off while fucking his truck. Secondly, welcome back (again)! I SUPPOSE that will have to tie me over til tomorrow, I think I can make it!

PixieCorpse said...

AAAAAIIIIGH!!!

Why why why?! I can never unsee that picture.

Anonymous said...

just goes to show, guys will stick it anywhere.

Ella said...

Ha, seriously. Anywhere.

Weasel, Stop. Deleting. Posts!

Kzeiger81190 said...

Oh my god. I had to do a double take on whether he was extremely smalllll or he was seriously fucking the exhaust. Oh my god. There's an image that will stick.

Nice lingerie too. haha.

Fhtrkstr101 said...

Ah weasel I missed you like that guy misses.... well who knows what it is he thinks is going on.

Nosnikta said...

YEAHHHHHHH!!! VISCOSITY!!!!

agustin96 said...

Saturday Night Live did a spoof add about a car called the mercury mistress... for guys who really luuuuuv their cars. Some of my guy friends got dreamy looks on their faces when they saw it!

amanda said...

Yay! I'm so happy you're back, now I can feel complete again before I go to work

Ashers said...

Blimey !!!

No really, blind me, cos I think I have the after image of that burnt onto my retinas !!!

That's the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time :-)

Why ?? What make a bloke thing.."I'm bored. Hmmm. I know, I'll put some Moulin Rouge undies on and stick my dick in an exhaust pipe AND I'll get someone to take a photo. Yeah!!"

Jewil said...

Can't wait till tomorrow!!!
The person that took the photo is just as gross.

http://dailyhorseventures.blogspot.com/

4thehorses said...

Geez, do men think we find them attractive when they dress in lingerie? Do any women who read here find that attractive? Of course, please ignore the fact that he's FUCKING A CAR, then please give your honest opinion of men in lingerie. Personally, I like a manly man.

male_reader said...

"just goes to show, guys will stick it anywhere."

Not true. I only stick it in FEMALE dogs. ;-)

Okay, seriously. Why the damning generalization? How would you like it if I said all women were nymphos or dykes? That sounds really stupid too, doesn't it?

Please don't judge all men by the behavior of the freaks who (dis)grace these pages. Thank you.

4thehorses said...

Dearest Male Reader, I don't think all of our negative opinions regarding your gender come from the freaks on this page, I think they also come from the freaks of past experience, the current freaks - I got a great one going - and the freaks all over the internet. Sorry, but you have to admit that your gender is just a teensy bit freakier than ours.

Aly Carm said...

YEAH! I was becoming sad b/c my almost daily order of sexy hawt men weren't being posted. I am sure I will find my future-ex-husband on this blog, it is only a matter of time. ;P

horsegal said...

And the guy looks so proud, too, to be sticking his business in the rusted, carbon crusted end of an exhaust pipe. Something to send home to Mama I guess....

Weasel!! Where is the tattoo post? When you delete your posts, you not only deprive us from re-reading your manly commentary, you also delete our witty comments. Stop!! *SLAP SLAP* Stop being so hard on yourself and leave them up!! Er, please.

CutNJump said...

Whaaaaat?

Oh, you said Suck the tail pipe?

I thought you said...

well it's obvious what I thought you said.


Good to have you back Weasel! I was jonesin'.

If it is good as you say, maybe we will let you out more often...

Promises, promises.

Lynda said...

Can I start the car!!! Pleeeaaassseee I wanna see what happens when I do that!! Pleeeaaassseeee!!!

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

I second what Lynda said! Please! But first make sure someone has a camera going...

ChestnutJumper784 said...

Dude, where'd our friend in the box go??? He was hottt.

What would be even better than this picture: the look on the person trying to start this car's face when they investigate and find out why it won't start. "Oh, there's a PENIS in my exhaust pipe!"

I had the misfortune of dating a real five year old who thought putting things in people's tail pipes, so that their cars wouldn't start, was hilarious. Never saw him use his penis for this purpose. He also liked to sneak beef bullion cubes into other people's showerheads so you would smell like beef all day long. Winners: they're everywhere.

Indra said...

I can't wait for the new posts weasel! We are long overdue here.

CutNJump said...

I guess that would be a literal blow job, as opposed to stuffing his sausage link in a vaccume cleaner hose.

The attire is just,

well,

I'm not sure what to say...

nip/tuck said...

Oh, Weasel, I am so glad you're back. Do you know how stressed I've been without you? Hooray for new posts on the way! And the guy with his penis in the exhaust pipe... I think next time he should try the business end of an AK-47.

serena_b said...

this picture is classic wtf. and yet, what most people dont know, is this actually represents a large number of men in the world. they call themselves something like autophiles. they are simply not attracted to humans, be it male or female. they find cars sexy. some of them have sex with the tail pipe, as in this picture, or they might just rub themselves against the car. they view this as a real, loving relationship.

thankfully, cars can't have babies, so they aren't reproducing.

Diane said...

Is it sad that my first thought wasn't "WTF is this guy doing?" but "Oh, hey, that's a cute teddy." Look how nicely it flatters and accentuates his moobs. Of course, then I noticed that he wasn't just kneeling out on the lawn, shielding the view from the neighbors with his Dodge Durango. I have to wonder what sort of medical conditions one gets from having exhaust residue ground into their penis.

I don't mind a guy who likes to play in lingerie, but it's not something I look for. I don't know- maybe I just got used to since I make corsets for the local Rocky Horror Picture Show cast.

Havocec said...

OMG...I'm going to buy a chastity belt for my car.

Anonymous said...

Now, iff only the camera-person would just start that car, that would be AWESOME!!!

Vaquerogirl said...

Good job 4thehorse- you said it right! And Serena_b- seriously?
I am going to go dig my eyes out with a spoon but that image will still be there... I thought I had seen almost everything- now I know I have...until tomorrow ...

heelsdown said...

ok-its 1:20 am-technically its "tomorrow". Where is the new post Weasel??? huh?

Oh gotta love having a newborn. Insomnia is a bitch.

Weasel said...

New posts go up in two hours, 4 am Pacific time!

kiwiness said...

weasel, you really know how to make a woman snort HOT coffee out of her nose. I must add a mental note to myself not to drink ANY form of liquid when reading this informative site!!!! welcome back. Even us kiwis have withdrawals from not seeing freaky freaks.

water_bearer said...

When I saw that pic, I immediately thought of two things:
the weirdest fetish I've ever heard of:
http://thatotherpaper.com/blog/todd_ross_nienkerk/dragons_sex_cars

and this snl skit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sOCEUpGZI

CutNJump said...

Water-Bearer...

Seriously.

WTF???

Between you, Mary and the findings you both post from surfing the internet. I am seriously at a loss for words.

Just when I thought I had seen it all.

maryann said...

MALE_READER, HELLO!

She didn't say "ALL guys will stick it anywhere." Merely "guys will stick it anywhere."

A guy with his dick in a tailpipe absolutely proves her point, Mr. Sensitive.

lisa said...

Same difference, maryann.

water_bearer said...

CNJ, I know! Who knew dragons fucking cars was what does it for some people?
And that Mercury Mistress skit cracks me up every time! I don't know how Chris Parnell did that with a straight face.

Karmyn said...

This guy looks like a combination of my old poli sci prof and Dave Thomas. Scary.

male_reader said...

maryann said...

"MALE_READER, HELLO!

She didn't say "ALL guys will stick it anywhere." Merely "guys will stick it anywhere."

A guy with his dick in a tailpipe absolutely proves her point, Mr. Sensitive."


Suck it, you smug little cunt. Get the fuck back in the kitchen, where you belong.

Luci said...

Hey Weasel. I know you guys are sensitive souls and don't like to corrected, but that's a '89 Range Rover. I know the guy I sold The Duchess to said he'd love her, in my innocence I thought that meant a new crank shaft...

Anonymous said...

That guy must love his car... A bit to much ;)

wheelin126 said...

LOL Now there is a ad to sell cars...You'll love our cars so much you will want to fuck them!!

Male_reader - wow what cave did you crawl out of?? Maybe it was the one where he had chips, dip and beer and of course that certain ingredient that ended up on his shoe. LMAO

Eric said...

That really gives a whole new meaning to "Dragon Ball Z" :D

Jeff Mitchell said...

I am the man in the picture fucking the car. Read this blog it tells you all about the picture.

http://tailpipeman.blogspot.co.uk/

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