Thursday, October 16, 2008

This Duck Has Horrifying Genital Warts

WWHM takes pride in the fact that we aren't a cock blog. Unlike priests, we don't share our penises with everyone at the playground.

But sometimes, even the staff at WWHM is horrified at what we find, and unfortunately, cock must be posted. And because we cannot unsee what we have seen, WWHM often posts pictures of animals to soften the blow- to warn you that what you are about to see you will change you as a person. You will become hollow and empty, and there's a good chance you'll be eating carrots out of a dumpster by nightfall.

But don't confuse the billowy yellow softness of this shit-eating duck for any weakness on my part. I am a man's man. I eat nails, and stomp on my own testicles when I spell a word wrong. I would buff my shoes with this duck and throw him into the spinning blades of an aircraft engine without thinking twice.

"Aw, what a cute little duck," you say. Well I know this duck personally, and he's a fucking cocksucker. Plus he owes me $50 for a sack of blow. You wanna know how cute this stupid fucking duck is?

Name: Jimmy "The Beak" Palitornio

Occupation: Pimp, hitman, small-time gambler, waterfowl.

Warrants: 1st degree arson, murder, aggravated murder, assault, felonious assault with attempt to injure, bookmaking, possession of narcotics, burglary, and two unpaid parking tickets.

Known Affiliations: al-Qaeda, People's Front for the Liberation of Lebanon, ACORN, Southern Lafayette Glee Club, FOX News, FARC, Bolivian Revolutionary Army, Curious Sam's Big-Time Country Jazz Ensemble.

Likes: Mayhem, crack cocaine, breaking bones, prostitutes, George Bush, bombmaking, bread crumbs.

Dislikes: Joy, smiles, freedom, love, pleasure, babies, herpes, eagles.

There's your cute little duck for you. He's a real piece of work. Things aren't always what they seem, are they?

Now on to the cock. You've been warned. Get your clam bucket ready.


Lynda said...

Just a side note.... as a former aircraft mech in the Air Force its not pretty sometimes... LOL

Had a friend who's B52 came back with a hole in the wing from a goose.... put his arm in the hole pulled out a leg and proudly proclaimed... "Chicken tonight!!"... ok so you had to be there. As an engineer in school they showed us some movies cant think of why... of pidgeons being thrown into jet engines... Yep thrown in.. this film was from the 50's. Trying to show how the engine could handle it. Actually they use to throw walnut shells into jet engines to clean the blades.. there's some trivia for ya!

sandrad said...

And here I was thinking that duck sounded like an ok dude, till I got to the part about FOX News. Damn, hard core AND stupid.

CaliGirl9 said...

Little bastard.
Associated with ACORN and Fox News?
He's working both sides. The nerve of this cute fuzzy little assmunch!

Anonymous said...

And he likes George Bush. That duck needs to be taken out. lol

Mack Truck said...

As much as I should hate him, I find him cute and charming, and would like to pick him up and cuddle him.

Much, much more so than Nik's raspy, hairy, dirty, disgusting scrotum.

Can I have the narcissistic surfboarder AND the duck?

Weasel said...

FOX News- definitely the worst.

I'm a political guy, and I strain myself not to put any political jabs on WWHM.

But Fox News???? They enrage and entertain me like nothing else on this planet. It's literally embarrassing to watch, I don't know how those poor reporters can live with themselves. They must go home at night and cry.

And for the record, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh are literally the BIGGEST PIECES OF SHIT ON THIS PLANET.

There is simply no other way to put it. I wouldn't wipe my fucking shoe on either of those dirtbags.

nip/tuck said...

Well I know this duck personally, and he's a fucking cocksucker.

HA! Weaz... I LOVE you!

water_bearer said...

After your Fox News rant Weasel, I'd definitely marry you.
But not if you owe any money to angry waterfowl.

Rozie said...

Well I know this duck personally, and he's a fucking cocksucker...

I didn't think you were into that kind of thing Weez, I thought you were a ladies man :)

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