Loving your funbags!
Hello my name is Rueben and I would love to have fun with your D cup funbags! Do you enjoy having a man put his face between your mamaries glands and just licking everywhere including your lushious nipples and arreollas! I don't want sex or a relationship, just some time alone in between your jugs. I only require that you are size D or bigger (pic is best!)and if you are curently lactating thats a bonus. I love mamas milk. Finally have a man lust after your Funbags!
Rueben somehow manages to refer to breasts as "funbags", "jugs" and "mamaries glands" all in the course of 30 seconds. Which is commendable only if one is appearing on Family Feud and the question is "Name a word idiots use to describe female breasts."
D-cup women must be thrilled to find a man that is finally willing to lavish some attention on her breasts, nevermind the fact that she could open her front door naked, blow an airhorn, and cause a stampede of men not seen since the allied invasion of Normandy. If a D-cup woman is a planet, then men are her constantly orbiting, scummy moons. In fact, if you really want to get laid by a woman with D-cup breasts Rueben, walk up to her and say "Wow, I really love your eyes." Considering she likely hasn't heard that since puberty, she'll be acidophilus in your hands.
But no, Reuben chooses the old route of focusing on breasts. He even says "I don't want sex or a relationship, just some time alone in between your jugs." So not only does he clarify he doesn't want a relationship with you at all, he specifically wants to be alone with your breasts. Tell you what Reuben, hang two cantaloupes from a parking meter, and I'll milk a giraffe over your head. You'll get the same effect, only the parking meter won't yawn.
To attract a large-breasted woman, try using an unconventional approach. First, stop with the "bend over" dates, like trips to the petting zoo, a pumpkin patch, or the Grand Canyon. If you really want to impress her, take her to an air show or birdwatching. Second, try to maintain a straight face when approaching. The last thing she wants to see is another guy staring at her breasts like there's two leprechauns doing a riverdance while tossing a frisbee on her chest. The eyes bugging out, the jaw dropping- save it for ghosts.