The Hoser

Cum in Buckets - 37M

Hi ladies! I am Steve a single man for long time who has not had sex in a long time, but I have a lot to ofer! I am 5 foot 7 about 255 lbs (not fat) and best of all I can offer you tons of cum. You won't beleive how much cum squirts out of my 5" (kinda small)dick, it will cover your face, breasts, hair and stomack, women absolutely love it! I have measured it, it can fill the bottom of a large coffee mug. I've been storing up for days and am ready to blast you the first woman that responds. You must pick me up and host at your house, call Steve at XXX-XXX-XXXX, valley area or north only first come first serve

There is a certain segment of society fascinated with the amount of ejaculate one experiences during orgasm. This segment is called "the men that are ejaculating." A powerful, voluminous ejaculation can produce an immensely powerful psychological high for males, who feel the quantity of ejaculate symbolizes their virility. It can produce an equal and opposite low for Steve's coffee mug, which now hopes to reincarnate as a festering testicular cancer cell in Steve's nuts.

Organon Pharma recently performed a study and determined that the average male ejaculation contains approximately one teaspoon of fluid, a teaspoon that likely can now sympathize with a certain coffee mug. But researchers have noted that some men, on occasion, can ejaculate up to 6 teaspoons in a single orgasm, a quantity capable of nearly filling an entire bowl. Hey Organon Pharma, where do you keep the Corn Flakes?

So now we meet Steve, a short, fat braggart without a car who fucks coffee mugs with a penis the size of a malnourished trout hatchling, and brags about how much you'll love him coating your face with his sperm. Believe me, his Sears catalog would thank you.

He also says he's single, and hasn't had sex in a long time. Thanks for the news flash, Steve. I'm not saying there's a correlation anywhere, but women just called Merriam-Webster and registered "Steve" as an antonym for "fantasy."

In reality, women won't care about how much you ejaculate Steve. Sperm could ooze out of your dick like cold sap from a dead tree stump, or shoot boxflies off the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with laser-like precision. Either way, the problem is the sperm comes out of you, a pencil-dicked social leper that makes women sick to their stomach.

Oh, sorry. I meant "stomack."