Thursday, November 20, 2008

All You Single Ladies........

I hope you single ladies have fresh batteries at home.

You'll need them after this.

81 comments:

Bellesouth said...

What this world needs is more unitards.

Weasel said...

Non-fat milk here I come.

SassyBrunette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SassyBrunette said...

Holy freaking get the clam bucket. That is probably the worst FUPA (fat upper pubic area for those of you who aren't familiar) I've seen in six months. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "shake it." ::shudders::

RebelJubilee said...

Wow, let me just run to the store to stock up on some extra batteries 'cuz you know I'll be needing them. Once I look up the picture of the Chippendale guys to use as brain bleach.
Although I commend the guy for having the balls to actually post that video.

sheri said...

I'm sorry I got the impression that this was an audition tape to get into drag queen school.
At one point, when he was dancing side on, I saw up the side of his leotard and it was way too much information.

Anonymous said...

If he danced liek that more often he might lose that weight.

Perla said...

Dammit, this bloke moves much better than I ever have!

Diane said...

I agree, Perla. If you ignore the fashion sense and refrain from peeking up the leotard, he is actually a good dancer. I won't comment on dance moves, as I personally dance like a white guy in a terribly cliched video about how badly white guys dance, but his movement is smooth, coordinated, and would make RebelJubilee's Chippendale dancers unable to fit all the money in their tiny little briefs. (Did anyone else notice how nicely the leotard showed off his back hair? As if it had been framed and matted for the wall!)

CaliGirl9 said...

I really don't like that kind of music ... even less now.

Pass the brain bleach please. I did not think that unitards came in that size. That one needed a lot thicker spandex. Come to think of it, I don't believe there is any spandex known to mankind that could fix that.

Heck with nonfat milk, I am going to go puke up my dinner now. This is enough to push me firmly toward bulimia.

Affordable cameras and Youtube can be a bad thing ...

RebelJubilee said...

>>but his movement is smooth, coordinated, and would make RebelJubilee's Chippendale dancers unable to fit all the money in their tiny little briefs.<<


The comment was made, here in my house, that if he were about 150lbs lighter and was wearing something other than a leotard than he'd look pretty dang good doing that. I know he moves better than I do.

Anonymous said...

I had time for a few thoughts, before my brain melted...

Yeah, he's actually executing the choreography pretty well. He's agile for a fat guy.

Am I the only one who saw *way* more than I wanted to when he went down on one knee?

I didn't know they made leotards in that size. I'm a size 2, but in dance terms that makes me a large. This guy...

*brain explodes*

Havocec said...

Now, Justin Timberlake on SNL in a unitard was cute. This guy is just plain hysterical. I can't flame him too much. I can't dance and don't look any better in a unitard.

Calantha said...

Well, he's got one thing going for him: He IS a good dancer. Honestly, if he keeps up that kind of dancing, he'll lose some excess weight, tone up, AND after all that, he won't be short of dance partners/possible dates. Most women like it when a man can dance.

The unitard though . . .why did he HAVE to wear a fucking UNITARD?

Andi said...

...the camera is shaking from his lard butt jumping around...

Oh god...and you can see the stuffing falling out from the ah, front of the leotard!!!!! This HAD to be a public stunt for a radio station....right???

Brandy said...

Havocec, it was the pumps that made me LOL @ Justin. I mean more than I do regularly... That was a cute skit!

Umm, how many socks? That CAN'T all be him... he should meet the Hedgehog to get a new career if it is!

Agree, the dancing is good, the song is cute, but wow. Why is it these men can find clothes that would fit me, leaving none for me to buy? Sigh, but even when I was a size 8 I had the same problem, just the women were buying that size.

I swore off unitards along with pantsuits and overalls. I don't want to get completely undressed just to have a slash, and those snaps never stay snapped...

Where DO you find these, Weas? Absolute GOLD!

Jim and Garret said...

OK, I was embarrassed for him and couldn't get through the entire video. The flash of back hair made me think of my cat coughing up a hair ball. Not a pretty sight. His bouncy body parts made me dizzy. My mind then bounced to all of those people you see wearing lycra that shouldn't. As far as batteries for the ladies, I don't know about you, but my sex drive is at 0. My eyes hurt.

SassyBrunette said...

Tooooo funny. I had to come back and watch again. And I am afraid I am going to have this song stuck in my head all night.

Uh uh ohhhh...if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!

Carol :) said...

ROFLMFAO!!

I thought it was completely hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh!!

I haven't seen anything that funny since I was at The Baton Club in Chicago (very popular drag queen show)!!

He should try out, I bed they would hire him!!!

:)

Carol :) said...

Whoops.. bet not bed.

:O

Viva_Lolita said...

Well...damn. What the hell do you say about that?

Rhyadawn said...

I just had to check this blog before hopping down the hall after a lovely dinner with a charming man...

there isn't enough bleech in the world tonight.

Lynda said...

Was that thing on backwards or what??!! Im mean great ok so he's maybe trying to get fit... jazzercize but who's filming it or does he have the camera on a tripod and its him making the floor jiggle sometimes... and why in gods name would you put it on youtube!

sweettc said...

ok all I wanna say is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGemjUvafBw

That guy can work it.
I just got a flash of somethings i didnt really wanna see when he went down on the ground.

wow

Lynda said...

My son has this posted on his myspace... atleast its good looking! LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX5ZVC1YY1k

Lynda said...

Wow Sweettc... I looked at that and thought hmmm eating disorder! I think my thigh is bigger than his torso... and those ribs are showing! Maybe its cause I'd rather have my horses with a little more flesh and when I see a human like this I just think of starving children in africa. Some one go shove a few steaks and potatoes down his throat and keep him from throwing them back up!

Anonymous said...

OMG. It's like a bad train wreck. I was mesmerized- I couldn't look away! I love this guy. In an "eeew, Stay-the-hell-away-from-me" sort of way.

AutumnEffect said...

Andi - I think it may have been for a radio stunt. The 'info' section says he is from a morning show somewhere... Or maybe he just likes wearing a unitard and dancing around in his bedroom.

I'm hoping it was a radio stunt. But if not, more power to him. LOL

Anonymous said...

nice SOCK in the leotard. who do you think you're kidding?

Melody said...

not an image you want to see before bed.. thanks weasel!

Weasel said...

Sweet dreams single ladies.

Jim and Garret said...

OK, my other half was catching up on WWHM. As he watched this video, he suggested that maybe this guy is a female impersonator and was practicing out of drag.

Another funny thing I noticed is at times the camera is very still and at others it bounces. Is the flooring very soft is he that big?

-Garret-

http://jimandgarret.blogspot.com/

Black Money said...

Ok, now that I have finished puking in the toilet I can comment. Actually no, I need to go disinfect my eyes!

Toycia said...

It depends on why this was posted I think -
If this is for a personal ad, then I have no idea what he is trying to attract, but if it's not then what's wrong with it? Not everyone looks perfect, and he's not a bad dancer - poor choice on the leotard I agree, but meh, I don't think it's bad just cause the guy has some extra pounds.
But again, if this is for a personal ad - then WTF?

asillylittlegirl said...

Now, that's what I mean when I say, "Shake what yo momma gave you."

Jen Shizuka said...

Yeah, if this is a personal ad, then WTF? If posted for some other reason, then... well, hey dude, nice moves but unitard? Are you _trying_ for laughs?

Also, I love how ridiculously overstuffed the unitard's crotch is. You can see the socks (that's definitely not skin) at one point. Lawl.

horsegal said...

HAHAHAHA I was completely horrified and fighting the urge to burn my eyeballs in bleach until I realized it was an ad for a radio station...

The bleach would still help tho.. that was almost kitten worthy!

horsegal said...

But I have to add... he can dance a lot better than I can! And even with the extra floppage of a pair of socks stuffed in there.

SweetPotatoAngel said...

I sent this in to you and I'm just so glad you posted it. We watched it here at work numerous times and we laughed so hard. One lady was impressed I'd noticed his back hair. But I was doing everything possible to avoid looking at his crotch. And people are right, he does have good moves. But WHAT IN THE FUCK makes a man dress in a unitard and video himself dancing like this? Oh and the camera is shaking. Hell if I'd been there I'd been shaking too!!!!

Thanks for posting this!

Nosnikta said...

LOL... he reminds of a big potatoe.

Big dancing sock-toting hairy potatoe!

4thehorses said...

Geez that guy is almost too hot, I my have to go home and find those fresh batteries. Yum.

Broke But Still Drinking said...

I don't get it.

Good Body *check*
Good Moves *check*
Nice haircut *check*

Dude's calendar has to be full.

Mary said...

That's it, Weas finally did me in. I'm officially a lesbian now.

Anonymous said...

I think this is the fist post I’ve disagreed with. Weasel, do you know the story behind this? Did this man put his video out there for us all to enjoy or is it possible this was leaked? It wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t actually a pretty good dancer. What if this is his weight loss plan. Oh I just feel too bad for him to laugh.

Anonymous said...

ok, he did it for laughs! I can enjoy it now! He's got some balls any way you look at it. *snicker*

SassyBrunette said...

Anonymous, get over it. It's an ad for a radio station. It's supposed to be funny. This is a humor site.

"Our country collectively shit its pants several years ago when Janet Jackson's nipple popped out of her stage costume for one second during the Superbowl, and people literally lined up to sue her for emotional distress. Are you fucking kidding me?" Written by Weasel in another post.

Think about it.

searching_for_something said...

hes sex is on fire

Trainer X said...

Ok it's official. I just pissed myself!

jax said...

don't worry ladies it's not an ad! he works for a raido station in Charlotte and it was satire of B's video. love it fat man!

thanks for the laugh Weas

Walk On said...

The stuffed crotch is just...

words fail me.

But the guy *can* dance, I'd even forgive the fat if he was better dressed.

So Weasel is working on getting us chicks to give up and go lesbian, for the gay guys in the audience... reconsidering yet? ;) (j/k)

robyn said...

The comment was made, here in my house, that if he were about 150lbs lighter and was wearing something other than a leotard than he'd look pretty dang good doing that. I know he moves better than I do.


Man, he got da moves, alright! What a hoot! If that's a radio deejay (as it appears), he sure has a good sense of humor. In any case, if he danced like that for 10 min a couple times a day, he'd lose those ugly pounds...

Anonymous said...

Calories in does not always equal calories out. Fat is not that simple. Many things other than sitting on the couch with packs of cheetos can make you fat and keep you fat no matter what you do or eat. That guy could have been dancing like that every day of his life and still be fat. And fat is not ugly to everyone (though I could live without the leotard! :) ).

And I thought he was a great dancer too. You think he could dance like that if he didn't do it a lot?

Jim and Garret said...

Walk on:
Assuming you're a male, keeping gay guys gay is good for you. Less competition!

-Garret-

Calantha said...

Weasel that damn song in the video has been playing on and off in my head for the past TWO DAYS! The last time I wanted to put a hole in the monitor this badly was when I read the "Cunning Linguist" post. Ugh, off to listen to some Marilyn Manson to purge my mind.

Annalivia said...

I was mesmerized. And not in a good way.

cattypex said...

"That one needed a lot thicker spandex. Come to think of it, I don't believe there is any spandex known to mankind that could fix that."

Spandex is a privilege, not a right.

Biskuits said...

Oh holy buckets, the Starwars Kid learned to dance and forgot to tape his balls in.

Annalivia said...

I had to watch it another couple times. Yeah, the kid has moves. *I* sure as hell can't dance like that! But the unitard, oooooow.

robyn said...

That guy could have been dancing like that every day of his life and still be fat.
~~~~~~~

It just made me think of a really great guy I know who lost about 100# dancing to his fav music for 10 min. twice a day. He also watched his diet. If you think fat is okay, that's fine. I personally don't find it attractive. I'm not trying to start an argument, but simply stating my opinion.

cattypex said...

here's a whole community out there of people who lost weight w/ Dance Dance Revolution.

Sounds WAY more fun than regular aerobics!!

Anonymous said...

He may be fat...but he can DANCE!

wheelin126 said...

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!

that's all I got I'm just speechless and still laughing too damn hard to think of anything good to say about that...hell the video says it all!!

Dori said...

This is going to give me nightmares for days...

LadyDemoniusX said...

Okay, I'm a large woman, and engaged to a large man, but c'mon. The fabric of that unitard wasn't the only thing stretched to the limits, so was the boundaries of good taste. He was very agile for his size, his dancing was good, but...NOBODY needed those few mind melting moments where we were forced to do more than speculate about "What Lies Beneath."

LadyDemoniusX said...

Sorry...didn't mean to sound like an ignorant bumpkin.

"...so WERE the boundaries of good taste."

thatseaofflashingsapphires said...

EXACTLY why I don't online-date anymore.

Walk On said...

Holy crap!

Ok, those of you in the central and western time zones, stay up and watch the show that comes on AFTER David Letterman - yeah, the one that comes on at 12:30.

It's the Craig Fergison show, he's funny as hell, and HE JUST SHOWED THIS CLIP ON NETWORK TV!

LMAO!

I wonder if he's been checking out this blog? He'd love it, it's his style. :D

Ballet said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I'd liketo point out that it's a parody... thought you oughta know.

Anonymous said...

I like how when he moved, the camera moved as if the whole house was shaking.

Anonymous said...

This will haunt my dreams for-fucking-ever.

Anonymous said...

SheDevil says:
Awwwww. I think he's cute. Cross dressing ain't no sin and he looks like a big teddy bear. I'd date him.

madbliss said...

This guy is awesome, so doubt! He is just what chubby chasers are looking for, with the the jiggle in the front AND back, and lots of sass. He's got it goin' on!
While we're on the Single Ladies topic (or at least everyone but me was on the topic back in November '08 - I've been busy!!!) check this video out. This little girl is about 3 and gives Beyonce a run for her money that I couldn't even touch. Slightly inappropriate with the self-booty-smacking and hip swivels but off the scales with cute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CU2JhYM8tY&feature=related

Electric Eclectic said...

You can clearly see he is stuffing!!!

Hilarious stuff, though.

Anonymous said...

Okay, Weasel, I learned to love you when I read "Hurricaine Steve", and I have since been through both of your blogs.

Having said that, you are showing me waaaaay too many people in youtube videos that I resent sharing my planet with. I just watch my men fuck an ottoman, and then I have the misfortune to watch this white dude jiggling to a song about how these women want to get married.

I'm starting to understand why our bridges are collapsing, planes are falling out of the air, and Bush was able to steal an election: everyone's making a disgusting youtube video doing some obscene, vile shit.

SassyBrunette, I'm sorry you educated me on FUPA (I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that), but, I have to admit, I was sitting there the whole time going: "Is his dick where his bellybutton should be?" Thank you for clarifying--I didn't think it was possible, but you actually made me a little less horrified.

Kay said...

I came, again and again. My eggs jumped from my ovaries like deer from a forest fire. Oh baby, oh baby.

Joe Mama said...

AHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!

Kendra said...

It almost looks like he stuffed cotton into his underwear.

Oy...and people wonder why I'm single.

Anonymous said...

Gag. God, I couldn't even get halfway through. O the back hair.

blghghgphblltghhhghh
yak

Hammerhead said...

On the bright side, you know he's not going to go into an ill-worded monologue about how much of a butch bad boy he is or go out of his way to "prove" his manliness. I give him points for having the balls to post this online (pun slightly intended) and imagine he would make for an interesting conversation partner. The back hair/unitard combo, however...

Anonymous said...

I would've rocked out with this guy. Fo' sho.