Wednesday, November 12, 2008

WWHM Wednesday

Sorry WWHM'ers, I've been really busy so we only got one new post up today.

But to keep you hungry ladies off my back, I'm going to let you have sex with this handsome guy until my next post. Is he hot or what? I bet just looking at him makes you feel like you're sitting on a George Foreman grill.

Too bad he's hung like a sterilized tse-tse fly.

A couple pointers before you have sex him:

1. To properly remove self-tanner from your sheets, use three parts Shout It Out! and two parts Sherwin-Williams industrial grade barn paint.

2. Please note this guy is so pumped full of cow steroids he actually ejaculates tender strips of Kobe beef. Grab some A1 Sauce.

3. When he comes, he sounds like a little girl at a High School Musical screening. Stick a lipstick-absorbent sweatsock in his mouth.

4. He's balding, so he hasn't removed his stylish hat in 2 years. If you remove it, prepare to smell an open grave.

Have fun, and try to resist flossing your gums mid-coitus.

Congratulations to Old Cock for making the WWHM Hall Of Shame! Read it again right now if you haven't eaten in the past 12 hours (CAUTION NSFW!). And as the author of WWHM, I'm automatically granting Cock Talk immediate Hall of Shame status, simply because it's the most ridiculous ad I've ever encountered in 4 months at WWHM. Email your nominations to WWHM- I keep track!

Lastly ladies, do you have an important decision to make with your significant other in the near future? Tell him your stance, and then just show him your breasts. Why? Because it disables their ability to make a rational decision. And science now proves it.

Wow, I'm glad it took "science" to figure that one out. What's next? "Science proves guys want to fuck all the time."

Duh.

(Image courtesy of HCwDB)

42 comments:

Nosnikta said...

Oh wow lol... he's not black. (I thought he was black). Is he trying to be black????

I do the boob thing just to keep him herded in my direction... gonna try it in decision-making.

Thanks Weas! and Thank You Science!!!! HA

Weasel said...

Why do I have a feeling that that brilliant scientific discovery cost US taxpayers $14 million?

Go study some fucking sea mollusks in your little lab coats.

fleeting said...

Weasel, Weasel, Weasel. If you actually READ the article, instead of skipping to the boobie pictures, you will see that the study was done in the Netherlands. So the Dutch paid for this study. Sure, the results are fairly obvious, but most of psychology is. The media also loves to oversimplify science to the point where it looks retarded. The other advantage of psychology studies is that they are cheap. I mean, they paid out about $7000 in compensation to the subjects, and then they paid for some bras, t-shirts, and some stock video. They maybe had the men/women video shot specifically for them, but that's still only a few grand. Grad students are cheap labour (I should know, I am one). My project is costing Canadian taxpayers probably $60,000 for two years... and it's actually on something important - nutrition and heart disease. I

Your proposal for new research is fascinating though. I really wonder what fucking sea mollusks would look like. I should go to my boss and ask him if we could incorporate that into my project somehow... I'll be sure to wear my bikini top.

Nosnikta said...

Cripes, I don't even know what a sea mollusk looks like, let alone seeing them fucking!!!! :-)

I just sent my man an email begging him to do something without me because I really REALLY don't want to go. I should have sent him a picture of some boobs for enticement. I need all the help I can get.

Thingsthatperplexme said...

fleeting, did you go to the Canadian Cardio Conference? I was just there :)

Weas, I too am a grad student in a little lab coat, and my research isn't nearly as obvious. Although I wish it was - my qualifying exam tomorrow would be so much easier!!

Anonymous said...

Why are this guy's hands a totally different color than his face and neck???

I think I get the self-tanner comment now... lol

Aly Carm said...

HAHAHA I honestly thought he was black! I was checking him out, noticing the waxed eyebrows and then noticed... the white hands! LMAO awesome!

SassyBrunette said...

Nice to see the Hall of Shame is growing.

I absolutely do not understand what makes a man do that to himself. Honestly. He looks more like an oopma loompa than a model. I wonder what happens if you take him out in the rain-does his makeup and tan melt? Scary?!

Here's another science nerd in a little white coat that does research! Common theme. I absolutely do not study the effects of breasts on men, although this is apparently one way to get your research on msnbc. Silly me, to think I spend my time on food safety & community health.

Havocec said...

sassy brunett said...."I absolutely do not understand what makes a man do that to himself. Honestly. He looks more like an oopma loompa than a model. I wonder what happens if you take him out in the rain-does his makeup and tan melt? Scary?!"


That's what he looks like! I was trying to think. And he looks like our silver haired overy made up friend Toi from a previous post. Or Carrot Top with a tan.

The boob thing...I'll have to try that as part of my campaign for a ski trip to NH this Spring.

Sea mollusks send up jets of egg and sperm. The eggs are fertilized in the water. The "spat" floats around until (in mussels it is mature enough to anchor itself to a solid object)they are developed enough to continue their lives as adults. Some have larval stages etc., and all that.

Please send the $14 million in Canadian funds, used bills, small denomiations, non sequential serial numbers no loonies, toonies or other change. Certified cheque or money order will also be acceptable.

Rhyadawn said...

He is so not black...

Havocec said...

He's kinda walnut stained looking. I have to keep going back because he's so weird. He almost looks like a statue, 'cept creepier.

Anonymous said...

He DOES look just like the Boi Toi.

jax said...

dude! i thought i flushed you this morning!

that's it, no more Acai berry for me.

CaliGirl9 said...

Oh boy. I hate to go back to prison stories, but this guy looks just like the inmates that lived in the special housing unit (SHU). We used to have a whole wing of 'em at Soledad. The cross-dressers and the unfinished sex change guys on estrogen and the flat-out gays were kept in this unit away from the general population. Those inmates collected and traded medications such as motrin to use as lipstick, and used burnt matches as eyeliner and eye shadow. They also liked tying their shirts at their waists.

I think inmates like that are now housed in Corcoran. alongside Charlie Manson and Sirhan Sirhan.

As for the study, lovely findings. I suppose packaging of electronics and other consumer goods will now prominently feature a drawing/photo of nice perky breasts.

Isn't it amazing that the reverse would apply to women—in other words, any penis photo results in laughter and immediate rejection.

God's designs are amazing.

Trainer X said...

OMG! Could that guy try just a wee bit harder??? "Smell like an open gave" *snork LMAO!!* Hahahahha

www.ihateyourhorse.blogspot.co

Rhyadawn said...

Burnt matches and motrin??

shamelessly promoting my blog, its lonely, it needs readers.

rhyadawnyourdeams.blogspot.com

Brandy said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Great, thanks Weasel. Now, every time I see a fake tanned douche, I'll be thinking, "Mmmm, Kobe beef..." and making inappropriate drooling/gargling noises!

Science has also found two interesting things that I use daily. Humor and laughing hard will add 8 years to a man's life. Viewing breastseses will do the same. So my daily health regimen for hubby is to bare my chest and make a silly joke. Or smack him upside the head with Righty, that's a two-for-one! Science RAWKS!

TornadoBaby said...

I looked at that pic and thought "OMG it's Boy Toi AND Plastered-Hair-Limo-Guy!"

Are these like template "men" or something...?

Toycia said...

Science Nerd! *raises hand*

Liz S said...

I swear to God this is the same guy http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/2008/09/boy-bot.html .....he just painted himself black...for some reason...am I wrong!?

Veronica said...

two words... jersey boy
two more words...jersey shore

robyn said...

Hah! I seem to remember that George Carlin said that the average American male has a sexually related thought every 17 seconds. His question was, "what do they do with the other 16?!"

Weasel said...

Im pretty sure this is Boi Toi

Liz S said...

ROTF I just clicked on the images and realized that boy bot and this guy are named "douche.jpg" and "douchesquared.jpg" haha How do you keep all the douches straight? ...Douches?... Douche?.. Duchi?...hmm

Liz S said...

omg Weas you're right, it IS him...I thought I was joking. Aside from seeing the similarities once they were side by side, hes got that same awful necklace and earring on. How is it possible for Boi Toy to have gotten FREAKIER??

TornadoBaby said...

Oh no.... it IS him?

"Hmm, the painted tan in the limo shot didn't work... guess I'm not chocolate enough for those ladies! Here's some paint!" *dump*

It's really weird how he manages to look so intense and lifeless at the same time.

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

WTF is the base color there?

searching_for_something said...

guys shouldnt use fake tan really, especially if they dont know how to use it properly

Whiskey Me Away said...

This was something answered on Oprah I guess.... I read it on AOL......

"If you have more than 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years," Dr. Oz says, basing this number on a study from researchers at Duke University who surveyed people about the amount and quality of sex they had. "They looked at what happened to folks that are having a lot of intercourse over time, and the fact is, it correlated." Frequent sex helps prove that your body is functioning as it is supposed to. "But in addition, having sex with someone that you care for deeply is one of the ways we achieve that Zen experience that we all crave as human beings," says Dr. Oz. "It's really a spiritual event for folks when they're with someone they love and they can consummate it with sexual activity...seems to offer some survival benefit."

I also read that the smell of pumpkin pie mixed with lavender aroused men to increase blood flow to the penis by 40%. The following smells also increased it: doughnut and black licorice 31%; doughnut and pumpkin pie, 20%; orange, 19%; doughnut and lavender 18%.

Thanks AOL! I wonder if we can take those results and study if men are more horny around Thanksgiving???

Mack Truck said...

Mack Truck taking notes, and will be buying scented candles in pumpkin pie and lavender smells by the gross.......

Blatant Animal-Related Idiocy said...

I had two thoughts when I saw this picture (after I finished vomiting over the Kobe beef comment).

1. RuPaul has taken his/her/its dress off!

2. I think I saw an 8-year-old get that same necklace out of a machine by the Walmart entrance for 50 cents.


Blatant Animal-Related Idiocy

Blatant Animal-Related Idiocy said...

Oh, and by the way, pretty sure my lily-white, Star-Trek-lovin' IT nerd husband has more street cred than that guy.

Calantha said...

Wow, spray-tan overload! It doesn't help that it's the same guy who was busted for the frosted hair and shaped brows earlier. I can almost smell the chemical burn from here.

Why did it take a scientific study for the Dutch to figure out the obvious? Jesus Christ, no wonder people tell me to show off my rack more - but I still want to beat them bloody for it.

Stacia said...

Oh god, it's the Oompa Prompa guy from ... well, from all over the place. I've seen many pictures of him over the last few years, and as he gets older he gets darker. He's infamous and he knows people are laughing at him; why does he keep posting pics of himself?

sa said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,a片,AV女優,聊天室,情色,性愛

Elite Escorts said...

Your Mademoiselle escorts agency is select the most charming, friendly and the finest London escorts for our Escort gallery and provide the best escort services in London.

London escorts said...

If you are looking for European escorts Bestescort4U is the best place in London

Elite London escorts said...

Bentley's International Models is a London escort agency providing elite top class

Escorts London said...

London escort agency which provides genuine female escort models in Central London area

Elite escorts said...

Beautiful escorts can be found at Elite Club International. Elite Club International is an elite escort agency operating mostly in Dubai and London.

Your Escort Agency said...

Your Escort Agency offers exclusive and most beautiful London escort girls of various nationalities.

London Elite Gallery said...

London Elite Gallery is a highly respected international escort agency providing the most beautiful elite london escorts.