You almost missed out on the best man ever
All my life I have been dating beautiful women, meaningful relationships mind you. I know I am a great man, I know this, but obviously you don't, and that's a shame. There is not another man out there in his 20's that would treat you better, treat you with more respect, or satisfy you better. So, this is my final good bye. Good bye meaningless online advertisements. Goodbye women that have blown me off, when in all reality, yeah, I was giving you a chance. I would have been your last, first kiss. A kiss that holds so much passion that you cannot hold your emotions. A kiss so authentic, you will not understand, because you are used to so much less. A kiss so heart felt, that your feet will tingle. Too bad, it could have been life altering. Too bad
It's like watching a sad, desperate birthday clown threatening to leave a children's party because none of the kids like the bowl of steamed brussel sprouts he contributed.