Neglected penis looking for neglected vagina
Hi. I am a friendly but neglected penis looking for a friendly, beautiful but negelcted vagina. I dangle between the legs of a nice guy who has gotten into a rut of being too busy to take care of my needs. Do you lie between the legs of a nice gal who is like my guy, too busy to find you a penis for your pleasure? My guy's lips tell me he hasent even kissed a nice vagina in so long mr tongue is getting as restless as I am. I sure miss doing the slip and slide in and out of a nice moist vagina. My neighbors, the balls brothers tell me they are so ready to make a huge batch of their special, high protine, love potion for your gal's enjoyment. Caio baby. Greg
Good fucking lord, where do I even start with something this lame? This is like picking on The Real World cast.
Greg's been abusing his penis like an alpine ski pole for the last 20 years, and with this personal ad his dick just secured another fucking 20 years in solitary confinement.
I'm not saying your personal ad will turn women off Greg, but I know girls who would rather spend their last government food coupons on a cross-town bus trip to blow a semi-professional mime.
"Nice, moist vagina"? "Nice and moist" is how my grandmother would describe a piece of steamy senior-home poundcake. You know what you get when you tell a woman you want to feel her "nice, moist vagina"? You get a dry, closed vagina.
"Mr. Tongue","the Balls Brothers" and "love potion"? I feel like I just walked into a puppet show titled "How Not to Get Laid."
Congratulations Greg, you've successfully written the lamest personal ad I've ever seen on WWHM. Speaking in third person would be bad enough, but you don't even do that. You speak in penis person.
Hopefully your balls enjoy dangling, because they're going to be hanging idly like a basement windsock for the next 20 years.
What do they have to look forward to?