Sunday, November 30, 2008

WWHM Presents: Christmas Gift Ideas

(Attn. WWHM readers: This is entirely real. I wish I could tell you otherwise.)

Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes by Paul Photenhauer

If you thought finding a fly in your soup was bad, imagine a waiter unzipping his fly just above your soup to complete the dish.

“Excuse me miss,” the waiter might inquire, “but it really might help me if you briefly address me as your “dirty whore of a waiter."

Paul Photenhauer offers us his unique perspective on dietary protein enrichment in his new book Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes. “Like fine wines and cheeses," he says, "the taste of semen is complex and dynamic.” Perhaps one might describe semen this way when surrounded by fine linens and a string quartet, but most women are more familiar with the type of semen ingested in the back seat of a '84 Jetta. Bleachy and acidic, it tastes more like something they might use to buff an aluminum kettle.

Mr. Photenhauer argues that semen is simply an acquired taste. "Some tend to dismiss semen as food and describe it as bitter or salty. This is similar to a person who tastes wine for the first time and says it tastes sour." Oh whatever, you big uppity cum snob. Last time I checked, women dismissed semen as a food source because it shot piping hot out of a penis and smelled like something you'd find on your shoe after a 7 hour aquarium tour. A topping for flan? It's supposed to evolve into an infant. Do you sprinkle babies on your lasagne?

Most recipes call for fresh semen, but some recipes such as the Creamy Cum Crepes require copious amounts of ejaculate to attain that finely nuanced jizz flavor we all appreciate from childhood. Since the taste quickly deteriorates, Mr. Photenhauer suggests freezing several days worth of semen in the refrigerator. WWHM concurs, but suggests you store them opposite the ice cubes. There's nothing worse than catching your grandmother sipping a Crown on the rocks only to proclaim "This tastes like my goddamn honeymoon."

Natural Harvest contains 60 full pages of semen recipes, most of which are stuck together like the pages of a 1984 Penthouse at an all-boys summer church camp. The straight edition comes with a centerfold of Rachel Ray nude, and the gay edition comes with a centerfold featuring a beautiful sectional couch surrounded by several lovely New Hampshire antiques. And Rachel Ray nude.

While the website boasts the book measures 9" by 7", it arrived measuring only 5" by 3". The postman apologized and said "it was really, really cold outside."

If you'd like to see the actual book and read some hilarious commentary, please visit here.

If you'd like to peruse the first 20 pages, including recipes and a lovely photograph of spermed oysters, please click here.

Please link to the National Harvest Cookbook through WWHM to help spread the word, and we'll be back tomorrow to present you with more pathetic WWHM personal ads!

157 comments:

Jara said...

i'm sorry weasel...you know i love you but...is this some kind of sick joke?

Weasel said...

It's real. Very, very real.

Aianna said...

My husband has preached the benefits of sperm for years. Now there is a book that states that. Dammit.

Weasel said...

I kind of wondered whether this was one of those internet hoaxes, but the first 20 pages are available online, including a set very high quality pictures.

You can also run the purchase option all the way through.

We'll see.

SandraD said...

For true entertainment value read the comments on Amazon.

Weasel said...

It's been removed from Amazon- if you can find it, please post the link in here.

RebelJubilee said...

Why?! And don't most chefs taste test their recipes? I should learn not to read this before breakfast...

Liz said...

I actually had to stop flipping through the first 20 pages. My gag reflex was kicking in.

colorisnteverything said...

That is just disgusting. So,So wrong.

searching_for_something said...

Is this for real? I dont even want to go near the stuff let lone eat it!!! I wonder how he found out he liked the taste? And what on earth made him think putting it on food would be a good idea???!

Nosnikta said...

I wish you could see the look I feel on my face.

I don't have to go to the book to set off my gag reflex.

archellebaker said...

Next, I'm going to make a cookbook with recipes out of my menstrual blood. I mean, how much grosser can you get than this!? Ew.

Weasel said...

Gross!!!

Nd_Appy said...

Oh god, I just threw up.

SassyBrunette said...

Cooking with Cum. Wow. Reminds me of all that PETA bullshit CutNJump was talking about-the human breast milk Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Apparently the idea came along because a Swiss chef/restaurant owner was using human breast milk (he pays the women for their "goods") instead of cow's milk in his recipes. Delicious.

I coughed up some coffee at the dedication page: "A special thanks to those of you who helped me with the recipes and TASTE TESTS. You know who you are."

Hyena Overlord said...

This reminds me of a joke.

How do you know that God is not a woman?

If God were a woman, semen would taste like chocolate.

Other then that, next potluck I go to, I'm only eating what I bring just in case.

I can't believe some of the comments on the link. The one who ordered the pig semen needs to come to work with me and have a 30 day headcheck.

horsegal said...

OMG this is hysterical!! And the comments on lulu.... *coffee running out nose* (at least it's coffee)

Glad ur back, Weasel, we missed you! Thanks for the recipes!

Canoncowgirl said...

Oh man. Theres been some gross stuff on here and I've handled it, but those cum filled oyster shells just about did me in. That is just revolting!! :P

Jim and Garret said...

OK, the only time I want to take a load is before mine leaves my body. If I'm done, keep that shit away from me. I already feel the the dry heaves coming (get it?), I'm not sure I could look at the book.

You're commentary, especially the postman delivery took away the sickness. Praise you, O Great Weaselly One.

Garret

Canoncowgirl said...

PS: still hilarious!...but also so revolting lol

robyn said...

Great idea! That is, if you're looking to eat less and lose weight! But then again, how different is it from eating Rocky Mt. oysters.

I'd rather starve. Or eat bugs.

Pilar said...

I just had this conversation with myself;
"No WAY!"
"Way!
"No WAAAAAAY!"
*puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke*
AND I checked the date. God, I hope that's NOT real.

Calantha said...

No. Thank. You. Please tell me this guy was really high when he came up with the idea. It's the only way I can accept that this book came exist - most guys I've talked to have tasted their own cum and they definitely didn't think it was something to top a flan with or bake into a creme brulee.

The Barn Bitch said...

Holy crap. I threw up.

I don't think there's any amount of seasoning or even chocolate that could make me even consider it.

And I just threw up again.

Thingsthatperplexme said...

I swear on my ability to ride/be around horses - The cum oysters really did make me almost throw up. Like the gag reflex and "hurk" noise were in full effect, and I still feel a little queasy.... fucking disgusting. Every time I think about the oysters, my stomach roils in highly unpleasant ways.

The Lulu comments were downright hysterical though.

amanda said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. And flan used to be one of my favorite desserts. Now it has been forever tainted. Literally

scd8789 said...

Hi Weasel,just want to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. I love your sense of humor! I live in northern Canada, where long cold winters reign supreme. A daily, hearty laugh after reading WWHM puts the whole day in perspective!

You're the best!

Dusty said...

Wtf?! Eeeew!

Trainer X said...

Oh God, help me, that is so damn sick!! You know there are just some things that need not be eaten recreationally, let alone have a damn recipe book for it. I think I may die of barfness.

www.ihateyourhorse.blogspot.com

TickledPink said...

I've been a long time lurker on this blog, but today I figured there was a need for me to comment today!

I still cannot believe this. I even went to snopes.com to see if it was listed. It wasn't...so I'm just going to go ahead and puke right here.

Can you imagine if someone had an STD and decided to make food for everyone? *shudders*

I'm with you Hyena. I'm not going to eat anything not made by myself.

"A topping for flan? It's supposed to evolve into an infant. Do you sprinkle babies on your lasagne?"
Literally made me LOL!

SandraD said...

My bad, it was lulu.com I saw it at, not Amazon.

Rhyadawn said...

just when you think you've heard it all.

will be back later to read the whole thing... clients await!

Dusty said...

Ok, Ive now had a look at the pages..
"While writing this cookbook, the authors found that extended genital stimulation will almost always increase the amount of semen ejaculated"
I can just picture how that went on... Must be one hell of a one-hand typist..

cattypex said...

Thank you for this wonderful weight loss tool!!!!

My tummy now hurts like Rod Stewart's.

Mack Truck said...

I am rarely struck dumb. I'm as close as I've ever come, right at this moment.

I'm also very, very nauseated. Those "cum oysters" were just totally beyond disgusting.

I can't imagine why ANYONE would want to cook with spooge. Ever.

Maybe, as someone else suggested, I'll start making recipes with menstrual blood. Especially those huge clots we women get on our heaviest days.

Weasel, you've put up some vomit inducing things before, but this one is truly horrific beyond words.

Anonymous said...

How revolting. Excellent post though.

If you'll excuse me I need to go vomit.

cattypex said...

I can't even bring myself to go look, and I'm generally squick-proof.

Hey, what could cum add to the flavor & texture of oysters ANYWAY!!??!?!?!?

Mack Truck said...

I'm with you, cattypex.

Raw oysters are just snot on the half shell anyway, in my opinion!

Gack!!!

weaverpony said...

Oh, god. I have a very strong stomach (I rarely need the kittens!) and I'm very close to puking now. Great post, though!

CaliGirl9 said...

I thought the testicle cookbook was bad ...

I am utterly speechless. And that doesn't happen very often.

klgalland said...

that's sick and hysterical!
well done!

NYCowgirl said...

"Do not use soap [to clean the oyster shells] since the shell easily absorbs the nasty taste of soap."
Yeah...don't do THAT...that would be...nasty.

www.thespottedequine.blogspot.com

Bad Fish said...

I posted about this on my site half a week ago.

Kayé said...

Wow.... can that seriously be real? Ickkk.

Grace said...

Oh, but "newbie semen cookers" can ejaculate right into a hot frying pan to make mini-omelettes! What a "perfect introductory recipe"!

I don't normally need the kittens, but honestly reading this crap makes me want to hurl. Where do you find this stuff Weasel?

TornadoBaby said...

*is NEVEREVEREVER showing this to fiance...*

I'm pulling pieces of tangerine outta my nose after the tasting like honeymoon comment. Whoo, what a Christmas eggnog story THAT would be!

On the plus side, maybe we'll get more men who are better cooks.

Wait, with this training though, maybe that's a really bad thing...

Mack Truck said...

Bad Fish, so whatta you want? A cookie?

You're obviously feeling indignant that NOBODY knows who you are, or anything about your blog.

Make sure the cookie you get isn't made by your SO or a male friend, though.......

terifina said...

Where the hell are our puppies/kittens/ducklings?!? OMFG that was disgusting! The author's comment that some cooks like "ejaculating directing into the pan" EWWWWW!!!

Weasel said...

Thanks for all the comments guys- I knew this one was going to be gross and didn't know how it would play.

Thanks to the readers who forwarded this book to me! But please don't forward the actual book to me.

Jadis said...

Wow - and to think, I was grossed out by "The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls" (yes, really!)

But this is much, much worse.

SassyAssy said...

My diet started. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

@SassyBrunette: I bet you drink cow's milk don't you? In which case, I fully expect you to post a comment about how delicious racoon-spunk is.

Anonymous said...

Christ. I can't even stand the stuff running down my legs and this is like a whole wiggly metric fuckton of WTF???!!!??

Also, I will never eat Flan again. Or crepes. Or oysters. Or....

Thanks so much for your blog, btw. It is a GREAT piece of work.

crevette

Weasel said...

Hey Crevette,

Thank you for the links, I get a lot of hits from your LiveJournal!

Thank you for spreading the love!

wheelin126 said...

LOL!! Well hell lets make our own cookbook....cooking with puke. First read cookbook- cooking with cum...second get out pan

ce said...

but most women are more familiar with the type of semen ingested in the back seat of a '84 Jetta

LOL ingenious joke.

Carol :) said...

This is just soooo wrong in sooo many ways!!!

I wonder if he actually sold any of those books!!!

Weasel said...

I can confirm directly that he sold at least one of these books through WWHM.

A friend just bought one as a gag gift.

Where's my commission?

Rozie said...

I don't even dare go to the book link ...I know I will vomit for sure if I do...That book is so fucking disgusting, I have no words for it.
What's next hey, perhaps I should bring out a book with shit or piss recipes in it.

Lemonade with fresh "lemonade" in it and choc cake with fresh "Chocolate" in it too :)

Fhtrkstr101 said...

Best. Post. Ever.

Diane said...

I'm a manager of a college bookstore, and I'm really REALLY tempted to order this and put it in the cooking section, just to see the reactions of my customers... on film, since the security camera catches that section well.

fleeting said...

I was gross out by this, but was feeling adventurous, so decided to try to peruse those first 20 pictures. I got to the cum oysters and the full on gag reflex hit - that lovely vomit-suppressing "hwuck" noise and all.

Good god Weasel. I have a strong stomach and I am gagging even just recollecting those images. Where do your readers find this stuff???

Trojan Mouse said...

Canoncowgirl,

>Oh man. Theres been some gross stuff on here and I've handled it, but those cum filled oyster shells just about did me in. That is just revolting!!


I agree. I just about tossed my cookies on that one. I don't think I will ever eat seafood again!

TJM

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

>>Best. Post. Ever.<<

I'm gonna agree. You can't possibly top this one. This is THE WEIRDEST EVER.

However, I will say it is not the sickest thing ever. The sickest thing ever is those people who cook and eat the placenta from having a baby. I mean, at least semen is something that, admittedly, most women and some men do normally swallow...just normally in the raw form, LOL. But PLACENTA?

Seriously. Tom Cruise did it. To me that's like cannibalism. Blech.

Weasel said...

My readers are dirty, dirty people. I've been sent worse.

Weasel said...

You heard it here first from Fugs.

Tom Cruise ate a placenta.

Nasty.

jax said...

"this tastes like my honeymoon!"

LOFL.

cattypex said...

"Gag gift" is right.

About the placenta thing.... I do know someone who ate hers, said it tasted like she'd imagine raw liver tasted like.

Apparently animals and... some.... people eat it because it restores iron.

So I guess that I can see the point, IF YOU'RE THE MOM.

Goddammit, I was gonna go see Valkyrie. Now whenever I see Tom Cruise I'll be all like "AFTERBIRTH MUNCHER!!!!!!!"

I thought it weird enough when Eric Estrada carried his son's umbilical cord in a little leather pouch round his neck.....

redwards said...

blargh, the oysters, oh god the oysters!
why is no one mentioning the HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE drink in the 20 page preview? it was likewise HIDEOUS.

Anonymous said...

This is sooo... GAY!

RebelJubilee said...

Weasel, this has got to be your most commented on post so far. Congratulations!!

Brandy said...

No.
No.
I mean it! No.

The Half-Assed Blog said...

Damn, is this the ONLY way to get straight guys to cook?

Other than that- this was posted on another board so I've already had my share of hurking and ralphing.

Why...why...WHY?? Who the HELL came up with this idea for a jizz cook book?

I feel sinful for eating that toffee so I may have to check out the drink people are mentioning. This book better not have jacked up *snort* a pina colada...

SassyBrunette said...

Still waiting for anonymous to rub their "two IQ points together." That could take a while...lol.

Perla said...

I still won't swallow!

Tribblehappy said...

Oh, weasel, I love how you test our squick factor.

The comments on Lulu are awesome:

"I bought it and tried the spoon-n-toss cookies as a surprise for my wife. She gobbled one up really quickly but I just can't get her to swallow them. On the bright side, she said she was willing to try another batch next weekend."

*rolls on floor laughing*

The Zebra said...

That is...

Disturbing.

water_bearer said...

Damn it, Fugs beat me to it but I was going to remind everyone of the placenta-eating crowd.
I saw this on a documentary years ago. The one that struck me the most was the woman who saved it in her freezer for a couple months for the party she had with friends. She made pate' out of it. Served it on crackers and on little pieces of toast. Offered it to her guests. Some tried it. Just like Cattypex said, I remember a man saying, "Tastes like liver."
I'm willing to bet that somewhere someone eats afterbirth pate served on toast with a side of mentrual blood soup (oh believe it) and cum oysters (my new favorite insult), and has a cupcake for dessert topped with little smegma sprinkles. There's a subculture for just about everything. Mmmm. Dig in kids!
P.S. Weasel - Thank you for posting this AFTER Thanksgiving.

Calantha said...

I am NOT linking to that book, nor am I going to line that guy's pocket by buying a copy. If I happen to get one as a gag gift, I will deliberately puke all over the shoes of the guilty party. I'll never be able to eat food at a party again without wondering "Did someone jack off into this before it was cooked?"

estuare said...

a) eew eew gross eew
b) I'm a graphic designer and I gotta say this guy needs some design help, in addition to his obvious need for psychiatric attention

zero said...

i usually lurk too, but i gotta say this. the other blogs i RSS to all talk about politics and oh-the-recession-oh-woe, and i thought, PLEASE don't let this blog talk about the economy. well, i wasn't disappointed

austriancurls said...

First time poster here...

Raunchy is what I have to say.

This is just so gross, worse yet in the comments section of the blog that book is on, someone mentioned serving the flan to neighbors and them not guessing what the zest is.

I'm never going to eat something from the neighbors again.

TornadoBaby said...

redwards, I don't think the majority of us even MADE it to page 20... I sureinhell didn't even touch the link!

Rhyadawn said...

Finally got through all the comments! OMG GROSS!!!! I really REALLY don't get this one. Why?! What possessed him to even think that this might be a legitimate cooking craze!

I have a very strong stomach, but somethings just don't work.

Anonymous said...

Guys- it's real, but it's a real joke book. The writing is tongue-in-cheek (so to speak) and even the author's name is silly.

Love the comments on Lulu. And the one or two that didn't get it and are like: "What's wrong with you people???" Ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha! And I just read to the part where he encourages people to ejaculate into a frying pan filled with hot oil. That should go over well with the more adventurous idiots :)

Weasel said...

Anon- I haven't made up my mind about this yet, but I tend to agree with you. It is a joke dressed up as serious and made back into a joke. Like a literary version of an Andy Kaufman schtick.

Either way, if it's a joke my hat goes off to him because it's swarming around the internet. If it's not, well, enjoy your sperm crepes.

Either way, he'll sell a lot of Christmas gag gifts. (No pun intended). I've had two readers tell me they were going to buy it.

cattypex said...

ha ha Real or not... it's definitely pushing the envelope ; )

...........and it's icky either way.

Though kind of funny.

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

>>I saw this on a documentary years ago. The one that struck me the most was the woman who saved it in her freezer for a couple months for the party she had with friends. She made pate' out of it. Served it on crackers and on little pieces of toast. <<

Clearly we saw the SAME documentary and were traumatized for life by it! I remember that scene!

robyn said...

Well looky what's on Cakewrecks today--"fetal bites"--fetus-shaped cookie cutters. Yay. That'll go well for dessert after the placenta appetizer and the spuzz crepes.

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/12/fetal-bites.html

Jim and Garret said...

I finally looked at the damn book. I could have lived without the photos.

The reviews were just as sickening.

dressage_nut said...

this is the ultimate xmas "gag" gift!

lamexicanita86 said...

Four words: that is f***** disgusting. Weas, you're great.

Goldie said...

Aw HELL no!! WTF, seriously? That has got to be the worst thing I've ever seen XP

anniebanannie said...

Okay.... I thought everyone was joking when they said they vomited. I saw the second recipe photo and had to exit out because I was gagging.

Fuckin' A. Jesus Christ on a Stick.

Sweet said...

I have never posted here before, but this was hilarious. The comments at Lulu were funny as hell.

When I was reading all this I could not help but remember the first time a guy unloaded it into my mouth. I literally spat it across the room and started choking violently. I thought I would faint and my stomach started to cramp up and I began to heave nonstop. I am glad I am not the only one who thinks load tastes like rancid milk.

Raw oysters are actually quite scrumptious. Their taste reminds me of rainwater. They are even better with lemon juice. Oysters and load could not be more different. Trust me on this one people. The book has got to be a joke. Don't let this mother ruin oysters for you.

I have never ever tasted anything that can even compare with load. A friend of mine compared it to battery acid. Porn star and registered nurse, Nina Hartly says load is alkaline. Aren't you happy you know that? If you ever think you need battery acid ....

The idea of a guy jacking off into a hot frying pan has made my day. My winter depression is gone.

The person who made the comment about no longer having to purchase mayonaise. That was funny as fuck.

sweettc said...

omg...wtf...What?!? I reread the post 4 times. Seriously 4 times. I am just kind of sick. Oh my goodness. OMG WTF....Thats all I have to say..

Anonymous said...

Fucking grosssssssss Weasel!

Anonymous said...

Fucking grosssssssss Weasel!

CaliGirl9 said...

The more I think about this whole thing, the more I think there should be a better way to "harvest' semen. You know, it gets "contaminated" going through the same tube as urine. Perhaps some sort of direct harvest would decrease the possibility of contamination.

Like let's say a 16 gauge needle into the seminiferous tubules or the vas deferens... with no anesthesia, of course, because chemicals ruin the purity of taste.

Only a man would write a book like this and try to tell you semen is yummy.

cattypex said...

"Only a man would write a book like this and try to tell you semen is yummy."

HAHAHAHAHAHA I remember reading The Joy of Sex and the author being all serious about how semen is good for the skin, like lotion. Ewwwww. It smells funky... like those nasty ornamental pear trees when they bloom.

Heh, that book also asserted that women love horses because they experience orgasms while riding, esp. when jumping. Um. Not so much.....

Oh, and that women (never says anything about MEN....) shouldn't wear deoderant or anti perspirant because ... well, I dunno why, but duuuude... you haven't LIVED until you've ridden in a van full of Amish on a hot day.

That book said some silly things.

CutNJump said...

I love you Weasel, but holy christ on toast!

A semen cookbook? Somehow I don't quite think it is something to be found on a naval ship. Think of all the free meals and concocktions they could serve up.

And yes, ALL puns intended of course. I now you expect nothing less from me.

Julian Meteor said...

No REAL man should tell you semen is yummy!!!!!!
Unless they are GAY!!!!!! lmao
YUCK lol
I have NOTHING against gays btw

CutNJump said...

amanda said...
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. And flan used to be one of my favorite desserts. Now it has been forever tainted. Literally

~~~~~~~~~~

Forgive me if someone else already said this, but don't give the poor sot any ideas for 'taint' recipes. Eeeeew! Just Eeeeew!

cattypex said...

CnJ... you are the funniest person who ever walked. Except maybe for JR or Weas....

CutNJump said...

Diane said...
I'm a manager of a college bookstore, and I'm really REALLY tempted to order this and put it in the cooking section, just to see the reactions of my customers... on film, since the security camera catches that section well.

~~~~~~~~

Priceless YouTube moments for sure!

Hyena Overlord said...

I was refraining from using the "taint" word...but CnJ, you crack me up*LOL*

CutNJump said...

Cattypex- Why thank you! I had a friend/boyfriend in the Navy for his 4 year stint. Oh the stories he would tell.

And for all those talking of menstual blood soup...

Damn it! Had I known a few weeks ago I could have been 'harvesting' all along. I guess the maternity ward would be a good supplier of food for fodder, so to speak. *Eyeroll*

I gotta go look at the book now. And go through my emails looking for the "Blowjob Revenge" drink mixture. It just seams fitting here today.

Liz said...

I swing through every day or two to see if there's a new failure of a man to read about, & every time I swing through and see that flan, I almost throw up.


Every fucking time.


How, my friend, do you find these things?

Liz said...

Julian Meteor said...
No REAL man should tell you semen is yummy!!!!!!
Unless they are GAY!!!!!! lmao
YUCK lol
I have NOTHING against gays btw

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gay men like the taste of semen about as much as women do.

Lynda said...

Cattypex Im Screwed! I used to jump when I was a kid but now I ride dressage... so much for those extra orgasms!

Well I can say with certainty I have never had an orgasm riding a horse. Ive been scared shitless, Ive been full of pride, Ive gone airborne... and then did a horrible landing in the dirt... but an orgasm... Nope.. not yet!

fleeting said...

An orgasm while riding?? Seriously??

Man, I can't believe I've been missing out all these years. Clearly, my jumping technique is all wrong.

Jones said...

I know the book is real, but I'm wondering if the entire idea isn't just one huge joke. You know, Chef Sven gets drunk one night with his friends and they dare him to see how many people he can get to eat sperm?

I don't even know. Wow.

And Weasel, you're hilarious. Never stop.

Anonymous said...

Porn lied. I always thought that those women loved fresh semen on their faces because it was good for their skin. Now I know it should be a staple of the healthy diet - NOT.

Joke or not, this is a whole new level of sick that I didn't need to know about.

If this is the what you were reluctant to post Weasel, I can understand why. But thankyou for warning us - I'm taking my own seafood to Christmas lunch this year!

kiwiness said...

OK I should have remembered this but it happened ages ago.
Back when I was living in my home town in NZ some freak was employed by KFC and he was adding his own secret flavour into the coleslaw. OOOOOhhhh yuk! I ate there, but not much as I'm not into grease running down my face, but I swear I can't eat the coleslaw from KFC even now as I just dunno If I got any of his nasties! (small town, we knew who he was)

CutNJump said...

Kiwiness-

Just because I know everyone will laugh their asses off-

We went to KFC last night for what we call a bucket of fuck it. As in fuck it- neither of us are cooking tonight.

We bought the meal with the four sides. Two of which were coleslaw. I can't stand the shit and refer to it as cold-slop as it should only be fed to pigs.

How much y'all wanna bet, if I showed this to Johnie Rotten, he would NEVER, EVER touch cold slop again? And I mean EVER! LOL!

John said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
wheelin126 said...

semen based recipes [ No Rating ] 28 Nov 2008
by wayne watkins
what a good idea. I freeze mine and feed the iceblocks to my japanese girlfriend and presto no more pimples....great side benefit
[ 1 response ]
Re: semen based recipes [ No Rating ] 1 Dec 2008
by Matt H
I guess the biggest thing about this semen thing is that it's a natural food source right? I've been conjuring up some poo for awhile and I'm thinking of making a recipie book for the corn and peanuts I pick out of my crap... Sound good to anyone? After all it's "natural" lol...


OMG I just couldn't quit laughing or crying over Matt H response!! Picking out the corn and peanut chunks....still lmao

MomofthePolka-DotPony said...

i just threw up a little bit - *shudders*

Keyette said...

I'm reading this weeks later and am having serious trouble wrapping my head around the concept of cum as food. It's almost like a form of cannibalism. I read the "author's" (this word is in quotation marks because in my book he is nothing more than a hack and an idiot)intro and was appalled that he would equate eating HUMAN semen to eating/drinking COW milk!!!! hmmmm lemme think for a second how many bulls or cows have I (or anyone else for that matter) seen drinking nut juice from other bulls, yes I know NONE he's a sick S.O.B. and needs to be investigated he could be the next Hannibal Lecter for all we know.

Bucket Trucks said...

i80equipment is an online New & used bucket trucks store. Offers a wide variety of Digger Derrick Trucks, Boom Trucks & Crane Trucks.

Bucket Trucks said...

i80equipment is an online New & used bucket trucks store. Offers a wide variety of Digger Derrick Trucks, Boom Trucks & Crane Trucks.

Earl T trump said...

Purchase not friends by gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to love. Keep it up Nice blog.

boom truck said...

Interesting post! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Animated Logo | logo design | brochure designing

Anonymous said...

Website Design | Stationery Design

Anonymous said...

Google

sa said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,a片,AV女優,聊天室,情色,性愛

Hammerhead said...

Wow. Really, wow. Y'know, after I read Fight Club, I literally refused to eat out because I was so paranoid about what people would do to the food. Then, just when I think it's safe to go back, this guy pops up...*sigh* thank God for ramen noodles.

Anonymous said...

Хочу посоветовать посетить выше сайт, у нас бор приколов, согласен и влюбиться он Вам повинен соответственно причине того что
для нем Вы сможете встречать пучина интересного чтобы себя и своей семейство у нас дозволительно натыкаться :
[url=http://fundraft.ru/]стишки[/url]
[url=http://fundraft.ru/]анекдоты матерщинные[/url]
[url=http://fundraft.ru/]курьезы[/url]
[url=http://fundraft.ru/]животные[/url]
[url=http://fundraft.ru/]курьезы[/url]

Приходите и посетите выше портал, веть он сделан именно чтобы Вас и Вашей семьи

Anonymous said...

Среди понятий, которые воспрещается перевести воеже иностранные языки, [url=http://nayemsya.ru/]кулинарные названия [/url]встречаются наверное чаще всего. Начинать нежданнонегаданно, скажите, перевести чтобы аналогичный содом шотландский "хаггис" alias русский "пряник". Дозволено, действительно, назвать пряник "мягкой разновидностью печенья", а хаггис "бараньим рубцом с начинкой", всетаки это баста владеть такое же постановка [url=http://nayemsya.ru/]дача[/url] к истине, вроде нешто вожделение мы назвали елку "пальмой с колючими листьями".
"Расстегай" — это казаться некогда то кулинарное парадокс, которое относится к непереводимым. Дозволено трактовать, сколько расстегай это рыбный пирог с открытым верхом. Отчасти это хватит верное определение. Постоянно именно отчасти. Сколько расстегай — это не вконец пирог и не весь рыбный.
Самостоятельно получилось, сколько некоторый блюда, которые безотлагательно стали национальной гордостью, изначально возникли не через хорошей жизни. И кавказский хаш, и греческий пацац, и итальянская пицца — постоянно они имели одно и то же первоначальное [url=http://nayemsya.ru/]детское пища[/url] урок — грохнуть в произведение "черепок" пищи, которую уже нельзя было сдирать обычным способом, и которую жалко было выбрасывать.
Расстегай возник словно племя пользоваться часть затем разделки осетровой рыбы. Осетры относятся к хрящевым рыбам, они не имеют костяного скелета. Возвышенность вместо позвоночника удерживается мощной сухожильной струной, которая называется "вязига". Эту самую вязигу суд разделке рыбы отделяют путем мяса, впрочем изгонять её — грех. Это несколько жемчужный пищевой изделие, содержащий куча микроэлементов и аминокислот. И обладающий свойством, которое очень ценилось в давние времена. Будучи высушенной, вязига обильно долго хранится и её дозволено транспортировать ради большие расстояния, туда, несравненно саму рыбу доставить невозможно.
Одна безвременье, делать её сложно. Варить её нужно долго, а это чревато потерей вкуса. Следовательно стали запекать её в печке в тесте со специями. А воеже печной огонь лучше добирался прежде начинки, ради верхней части тестяного шара оставляли палец разрез. Получалось [url=http://nayemsya.ru/]салаты[/url] пища с сразу алчность "расстегнутой" верхней частью. Отсюда и пошло афоризм — "расстегай".
[url=http://nayemsya.ru/]Кулинарные рецепты[/url] мещанский здорово.

vani said...

My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!

Gift Ideas For Woman

Anonymous said...

archellebaker- I was thinking the same thing!! Maybe I'll call it "Cooking with your Vagina: A Selection of Recipes Involving Menstrual Blood"! Can't be any more disgusting than this book.

Иван Васильев said...

Сайт nadietax.com - женский сайт о диетах, здоровом образе жизни, красоте, женском здоровье

shahbaz khan said...

I don't think so that all the women's hates men presents. Do you have some collection for Send gifts to Pakistan on Ramadan?

Anonymous said...

Your diet should be according to what your abs need to define themselves uk lumigan Apparently it allows the male chimp to advertise his sexuality and virility to the female he is interested in
and guess what? IT WORKS!All you need are the following:Syrup of figs for constipation18 g dried senna pods cheap cymbalta I have tried dozens of depression medications before I found this one!
It's also best for men who are starting to thin on top viagra for women au You just need to determine what your goals are and why you got overweight in the first place
All of these equipments are offering great cardio exercises and they are all very effective in maintaining a physically fit body iressa This is called the golden hour and instead of storing fat, the food you eat after the workout is stored as muscle glycogen (stored carbohydrate) and used to repair your muscles
For Women, the set up is different, but main points are the same Price for Motrin Cheap Online Deal with it now by searching for and using the right body <a target="_new" rel="nofollow" href="http://www

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.magicaudiotools.com/convert-flac-to-mp3]flac to mp3[/url]

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love your blog and find many of
your post's to be exactly what I'm looking for.
Would you offer guest writers to write content for you personally?

I wouldn't mind creating a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome blog!

My web blog :: tv products

Anonymous said...

I visit daily a few websites and websites to read articles or reviews, except this
website presents quality based content.

my blog: goodwill online store

Anonymous said...

Great post. I used to be checking constantly this blog and I am impressed!
Extremely useful info specially the remaining phase :
) I deal with such information much. I was looking for this certain information
for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

Look at my homepage ... Wonder File

Anonymous said...

Just want to say your article is as astonishing.

The clarity on your put up is just spectacular and i
could think you're knowledgeable in this subject. Well together with your permission let me to grasp your RSS feed to keep up to date with drawing close post. Thank you a million and please keep up the rewarding work.

Also visit my blog post - juice breville 800 juicer

Anonymous said...

Incredible points. Great arguments. Keep up the great spirit.



Here is my blog ... Christmas Shopping

Anonymous said...

okay therefore talking about eye contact.can you explain a bit much
more.like how to understand if she is interested by eye contact

my site ... http://beta3.fluffylogic.net/

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about juicer seen on tv.
Regards

Visit my web site :: juicing benefits

Anonymous said...

Ahaa, its pleasant conversation regarding this article here at this blog, I have read all that,
so at this time me also commenting at this place.


Stop by my page - vigorelle ingredients

Anonymous said...

Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this
blog loading? I'm trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it's the
blog. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.


Feel free to visit my web page: recipes for juicers

Anonymous said...

Hello, Neat post. There is a problem together with your site in internet explorer, would test this?

IE nonetheless is the market chief and a large component of people will pass over your magnificent writing because of this problem.



Also visit my page; kyle leon somanabolic muscle maximizer free download

Anonymous said...

Link exchange іs nothing else hoωever it is only placіng the οtheг
perѕon's website link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do similar for you.

Feel free to surf to my web blog: reputation management

Anonymous said...

Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that
I've truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

Also visit my weblog ... wiki.Opendune.org

Anonymous said...

I've been surfing on-line greater than three hours nowadays, but I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It's beautiful price sufficient for me.
In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers
made good content material as you did, the net will be a lot more helpful
than ever before.

Also visit my weblog - her solution review

Anonymous said...

I've not noticed any bad chances. I began eating chia seeds about two weeks now. I saw a sign saying a spoon of chia seeds and virgin organic coconut oil will give you a natural energy boost. I been taking about 9 spoons a day...I just realized that I am not suppose to do this according to what I am studying now. I have to say that I typically used the bathroom about after a week and now I am to the first time in my life going almost everyday...Now, it scares me following reading through this that i was taking too considerably..need to I stop them or go down to 2 spoons a day?

Take a look at my weblog; chia seeds in bulk ()

Anonymous said...

Ridiculous story there. What occurred after? Take care!


Take a look at my homepage: skinception ()

Anonymous said...

Hey! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give
a quick shout out and tell you I really enjoy reading your blog posts.

Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the
same subjects? Thank you so much!

Also visit my webpage reduce cellulite exercise

Anonymous said...

I'm really impressed along with your writing abilities as well as with the structure on your blog. Is this a paid topic or did you customize it your self? Either way stay up the nice quality writing, it is rare to look a nice blog like this one nowadays..

Here is my web-site gain semen quantity

Anonymous said...

great issues altogether, you simply received a emblem new reader.
What could you suggest about your publish that you simply made a few days
ago? Any sure?

Check out my web site; click home page ()

Anonymous said...

What's up colleagues, its enormous piece of writing on the topic of teachingand completely defined, keep it up all the time.

Here is my blog: does turmeric inhibit hair growth

Anonymous said...

Hello, all is going nicely here and ofcourse every
one is sharing facts, that's really fine, keep up writing.

Here is my web site :: tattoomenow discount