So I opened my drawer last night to grab some sleep aid and noticed that unused pack labelled 'Trojan Lubricated' in there. A quick peek at the expiration date revealed "08/2008". Now, I'd hate to throw perfectly functioning condoms away, and I feel really bad about their silent death if I just let them expire. Instead, they should experience a happy ending. Ethan
I know just how you feel Ethan.
I found a rotten cornish game hen in the trunk of my car today. The package says it expires tomorrow.
Maybe you'd like to come over and eat it.
Anyway Don Juan, you shouldn't use condoms you bought in 2004. Just wrap the head of your penis with Scotch tape, don't tell her you have syphilis, and pray.
Your condoms are lonelier than the dinnerware at the Gay and Black Republicans table at the Republican National Convention. Give those condoms the happy ending they deserve by throwing them in the trash.
Unless of course you consider getting ripped open with your teeth, welded to a stranger's penis until he throws up on you, and discarded onto a stale lemon urinal cake in a shitty tavern bathroom a "happy ending."
And for the record, Paris Hilton calls that "an average Tuesday night."