Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Kibbles N' Bits

Here kitty, kitty!

Is your kitty kitty hungry? I' m Leonard, and I have just what she likes, kibbles & bits. Satisfaction guaranteed. Good for all breeds and ages, while supplies last, at no cost to you. Not available for dogs.

For those of you who think I just sit down in my fine velvet smoking jacket and corn cob pipe and just belt these things out, well, your silly little hypothesis couldn't be any further from the truth. At the WWHM Headquarters, we actually do research.

What kind of research you ask?

Well, something seemed wrong with this ad. Something besides the fact that it was placed by a bow-backed, octogenarian Australopithecus that reeked of month-old lunch meat, mothballs, and a sack of expired carrots.

No, we seem to remember that Kibbles n' Bits wasn't made for cats. In fact, it was made for dogs.

And, according to their website, Kibbles n' Bits aims to provide high-quality proteins for muscle growth, rich fibers for solid stool expulsion, and fats designed for healthier skin and fur.

Hmmm. Maybe you should eat that fucking bag, Leonard.

20 comments:

teawith lime said...

*HACK* *HACK* *HAAAAACK*

Oops. Sorry about that, Leonard. Must have been some rancid food. Look on the bright side, though. It matches your decor.

Nosnikta said...

He should go to Tim's Hairy Snack Shack.

HEY! I wonder if Tim would loan him his kitty sock puppet!

Weasel said...

I miss Tims Hairy Snack Shack. Maybe we should re-visit.

Nosnikta said...

The thought makes me laugh while simultaneously surpressing the urge to hwackingly clear my throat. :-)

CutNJump said...

...rich fibers for solid stool expulsion,...

I knew there was a reason we called it Kibbles N' Shits!

Nosnikta & Weasel- so are we going back to visit Tim's Hairy Snack Shack? It would be a fun review for the newbs.

Careful Nosnikta, that could be a hairball coming up...

My bet is the kitty sock puppet is a bit stiff. As in having been startched a little too much. If ya know wudda mean.

Kokorami said...

"Not available for dogs"
Or wishful thinkers...Leonard, even a skin-and-bones-starved beagle (a breed I've known to zoom in from 2 rooms off making sure your spoon of misplaced strawberry jam never hits the floor, and the sharpest Customs/APHIS dogs you'll see) would run away screaming from that thing. You have nothing to fear.

Nosnikta said...

The cheese pieces do NOT taste like cheese. :-|

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

I think we need to issue a press release to these guys pointing out that exactly none of us equate our vaginas with a cat. Not in any way, shape or form. Ads that do, well, let's just say very high on the squick meter.

Nosnikta said...

Other than the fact that didn't you say your vagina had razor sharp teeth? lmao

CaliGirl9 said...

Don't insult Australopithicines like that just because they are extinct *wink* I don't believe they were as hideous as this guy.

They were far more athletic as well!

Mack Truck said...

Does Leonard have his squelchy, squishy, nasty old man gut sucked in? You betcha!

Sorry Leonard, but we women aren't fooled by gut sucking. We know you're disgusting, and your skin probably feels like year-old crepe paper that's been left hanging in the gym after the school dance.

Ugh. Ugh, hack, blech, and puke!

Disgusting, sexist young guys are bad enough, but disgusting, sexist old ones? Hurl.

Nosnikta said...

HA HA HA HA HA I noticed that too (snort).

I'm surprised he didn't flex his bicep for us. Er wait... maybe he is???

Nosnikta said...

Hey Weasel??? What is it with you and carrots???? lololol

Mel said...

Oh my goodness you've got to be kidding me.
He thinks this ad will actually attract a woman?

teawithlime said...

"Oh my goodness you've got to be kidding me.
He thinks this ad will actually attract a woman?"

Wait, he's trying to attract a woman? I thought he was trying to attract a tabby cat. ;)

MinxyQ said...

lol...

how is any part of that advert appealing? It is like scarpinf the bottom of a dumpster , whopping it on a plate and trying to market it as somehow digestable.

Sometimes guys really ought to look at their photo and the ad copy and truly, honestly ask themselves "would I want to fuck that?"...

I just don't get it.

MinxyQ said...

mmmm...scraping too

Nosnikta said...

I was about to look up "scarpinf". I love typos! lol

CutNJump said...

MinxyQ-
Sometimes guys really ought to look at their photo and the ad copy and truly, honestly ask themselves "would I want to fuck that?"...

That's what us women think, that would explain why women drink.

***Yep, the though of that hovering over you, all hot, sweaty and about to cum... ***

Merridyn said...

At the shelter, It went by the name "Kibbles and Diarrhea." I was no there for whatever earned it the name. I would guess that a LARGE percentage of the dogs in the shelter didn't fare too well on it.