Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Grasshole

Ass for grass

I have a shitload of grass, and i am willing to exchange it for some quality time with a lady who likes to smoke weed and spend some quality time withme. I wuld like to find a woman that is wake n bake totally shaved and wouldnt mind me spending some quality time with her ass and pussy. You must have had adiquate wax job on both your ass and pussy to qualify. my interests include POTT!!hiking, bike riding thru local parks (no =hills lol), sailing and motocross .Erik

I like that Erik takes the time to list pot, biking, hiking, sailing, and motocross as his interests, other than his primary interest in licking your ass. After all, who doesn't like a little ass-licking after a 50 mile bike ride?

But if Erik is anything like the other heavy pot smokers I know, here's another list of some things you'll never do with him: biking, hiking, sailing and motocross. If you want to get him off the couch for more than 5 minutes, make a pan of enchiladas and burn the furniture.

Which only leaves you with pot smoking and ass licking, a good combination only if you're stuck at a Fleetwood Mac concert with a half-gram of Mexican weed and one hallucinogenic frog.

Smoking pot has other disadvantages besides having to tell him ten times that you really do like his drawing of Hello Kitty having a laser fight with Godzilla.

Heavy pot smoking can lead to severe erectile dysfunction, leaving his penis much softer than his long-term job prospects. Studies have also shown that high THC levels cause sperm to become slow and erratic, which is a real shocker. That's what happens when sperm spend all day lying around the testes watching The Jetsons and voraciously consuming the orange powder residue of 18 bags of Cheetos.

You ever see a guy cum a luminescent orange? Yeah, he's probably a pot smoker.

15 comments:

CutNJump said...

Sorry I almost thought he was Mr. 7am Bonghit in Ohio, but then seen his name is different.

Maybe Mr. Ass for Grass can work somthing out with Tim at the Hairy Snack Shack.

*headdesk*

Nosnikta said...

I've never seen the luminescent orange cum, but comedian Ron White said his balls were orange from eating Cheetos naked while lounging in a bean-bag chair. Does that count?

Oh... my money is on Godzilla.

CutNJump said...

Luminescent orange cum? Does it glow in the dark? Do you need a blacklight to see it?

More importantly will it make ME glow from the inside out?

Halloween is coming and I can paint a Jack-O-Lantern face on my belly! Wahooo!

Nosnikta said...

Ya know... that may be ALMOST as fun as chasing a glow-in-the-dark condom through a pitch-black house. Sigh... those were some fun times lol.

Yes Cut, I think you should paint your belly :-) If I did, it would have to be upside down so I could see what I was doing. I wouldn't trust JB to make a punkin face as opposed to something else.

Evergrey said...

Yeah, I have an ex who couldn't keep it up and at 'em a lot of the time. He'd blame me for breathing, or moving a bit, or doing anything that didn't involve pretending to be a corpse or something from a wax museum. Couldn't have been the quarter he smoked daily, oh no. No way. Responsibility is for people who don't have a trust fund and who don't spend all day smoking pot and playing collectible anime-themed card games.
Now I'm dating a man who is 20 years older than he was, who can go at it 7 times a day, and who, funnily enough, isn't a stoner. Hmmmm...

CutNJump said...

Nos- the way my belly button sticks out, I swear I am going to put a pair of eyes above it and a smile in the crease below the new gut, before one of the ultrasound appointments.

Just because I can!

Nosnikta said...

I THINK YOU SHOULD!!!!!!

My Dad looks pregnant. We could do that to him, but he's one of those hairy guys so his jacko-lantern would have a full beard.

LOL gross.

CutNJump said...

Nos- I could go amazon and grow the 'face' a mustache... LOL!


We used to do things like that to my Dad when he would fall asleep in the recliner. My brother painted his glasses to look like eyes, with shoe polish and Q-tips. Dad slept right through it and we have pictures.

Then the other 'favorite' was when his mouth dropped open and he started snoring, we would drop a few crushed red peppers onto his tongue...

It's amazing we made it through our early teen years.

Nosnikta said...

ROFLMAO!

My Dad fell asleep in a rocking-chair one day... he leaned too far back and tipped it clean over. His feet were up in the air on his short little legs and I busted out laughing. I got the look from hell so I took off running before I could be back-handed for enjoying his misfortune so much SNORT!

My brother and I WOULD NOT have survived if we did the things you did lol. Heck.. I'm surprised we're alive just from the work he made us do as teens. THAT nearly kilt us!

4thehorses said...

Hey Nos, Nice looking foal!

Anonymous said...

Hey now, I smoke a lot of weed and am a competitive endurance runner, often training while stoned, and eat healthier than anyone I know.

I only date stoners too, and my last boyfriend was the best ever at sex -- frequently, for long periods, romantically and just great. Too bad he lives three states away and got all religious on me. I have read about marijuana use possibly reducing fertility in males, but more birth control is always a good thing. The only times I’ve been with a guy who had problems getting or keeping an erection was after too much alcohol.

No way would I be interested in dating this idiot though. I can supply myself without exchanging sex for it *eyeroll* and do any women really respond to ads focused on sexual activity? We already know that men who want to date want to have sex. Going on about it makes it obvious they are looking for a relationship based on that, which few women are interested in. I think Grasshole should spend some quality time waxing his own testicles and ass.

Weasel said...

No worries anon- you must be a new reader. I mock sterotypes on here, not actual people that smoke weed.

Believe me, I fully encourage marijuana use. I don't smoke it myself, becuase it just makes me stupid. (Or, stupidER). But I encourage it recreationally and medicinally for those who enjoy it.

I used to be a loser coke addict, so who am I to judge???? Talk about not being able to get it up, try hoovering an 8 ball.

Smoke away!

CutNJump said...

Weasey we were all recently discussing passing the peace pipe on Fugly.

They recently stated that pot was the #8 largest 'crop' of Washington.

'... hoovering an 8 ball.'

I bet our neighbor could.

Anonymous882 said...

“No worries anon- you must be a new reader. I mock sterotypes on here, not actual people that smoke weed.

Believe me, I fully encourage marijuana use. I don't smoke it myself, becuase it just makes me stupid. (Or, stupidER). But I encourage it recreationally and medicinally for those who enjoy it.”

There, now I’m not quite so anonymous. ;)

I’m glad you’re not anti-marijuana and have actually been reading this blog since it was linked from FHOTD but not much of the comments and have no problem with mocking stereotypes, voted for “Young Hussalah” for the Hall of Shame but feel an obligation to speak up for responsible marijuana users occasionally. We’re a lot of people it would never be suspected of.

Keep up the great work!


“They recently stated that pot was the #8 largest 'crop' of Washington.”

It’s #1 in many states and Canada, and ranked #4 overall in the U.S.

http://norml.org/index.cfm?Group_ID=4444

http://norml.org/index.cfm?Group_ID=6694

xenobiologista said...

Oh geez. It scares me that he lists "bike riding" as one of his interests after pot. I ride my bike all the time and stupid drivers and stupid other cyclists are enough to deal with without having intoxicated cyclists too.