Friday, August 29, 2008

Have A Great Weekend From WWHM!

Welcome back WWHM readers!

Once again, we're reporting to you from the WWHM Headquarters, located in beautiful downtown Dubuque, Iowa, right across from Wing C of Tom's Animal Rendering Plant!

Do you like my outfit? Does it make your loins quiver like a plate of pudding riding atop an Albanian train car?

Well it's not even done yet! You see, all it took was one quick call to Tom's Rendering Plant next door, and Tom agreed to hack the wings off a live ptarmigan. What for? I'm going to paste them on my back using a small jar of edible rubber cement, and I'll be the cutest uncircumcised cupid ever.

As for the rest of the ptarmigan, Tom went down to Bread Hut and slapped the carcass onto an 8 foot wheat hoagie. As soon as we grind up the beak and talons, my staff will enjoy the finest ptarmigan sandwiches this side of Colorado Springs. And as a special bonus, any employee that finds an eyeball in their slice gets $3 off next year's vision plan. Am I a great boss or what?

Anyway, you're probably asking "Hey Weasel, why are you dressed up like a Special Olympics cupid?"

Well readers, I'm dressed up as a Special Olympics bronze medal winning cupid because today we celebrated our 2 month anniversary. And my cupid outfit is just a gentle reminder that if any of you defect from visiting WWHM on a weekly basis, I'm going to sneak into your home and shoot you with my "Arrow of Unfortunate Circumstances".

That's right! And what does that mean? That means you have to go on a date with the guy that got the most votes for the worst personal ad on WWHM. And right now, with 48 votes, that means you get to go on a date with It's a Dirty Job.

Congratulations It's A Dirty Job, and have a slice of warm ptarmigan sandwich. If it's still moving, just smash it on the counter top a couple times.

Have a great weekend WWHM'ers, and keep sending me ads, love notes and hate mail! I love it all! Why? Because I'm a pathetic narcissist!

See you next week, and let's do the posts!

32 comments:

nosey said...

Cute outfit weez!

BTW, is that a vagina on your belly?

Weasel said...

It's a moth nest nosey.

nosey said...

Oh, OK.

Nosnikta said...

Do you giggle to yourself when you post these?

horsegal said...

I'm trying to imagine just what kind of woman this could EVER possibly attract.. rotfl

My face hurts from laughing. A successful WWHM morning. Thanks, Weasel, and have a great holiday weekend!

CutNJump said...

just when we have all thought, "Now I have seen everything..."

Weasel once again comes through and proves,

Oh NO you haven't!

Thanks again Weasel for making us snork our food and drinks.

I gotta go find the 'Bud Light, We Salute You' ad guys. I'm thinking you are worthy!

ChevyGirl said...

weasel I just posted about your blog on a forum I lurk/sometimes post on and it got deleted :) You are bad :) It is so sad that we NC people tend to be so stuck up [I live in NC but I am truly not a NC person ;)]. Just had to let you know!


oh and by the way, you look like one of my exes in that outfit, kinda gave me nightmares for a bit

Anonymous said...

Out-f*%$ingstanding! Woohoo...gotta give it to him for trying to be a Xena clone...


YEYEYEYEYEYEEEEE

Nosnikta said...

I won't have to worry about the date.

Weas? I wanna see you flit in that outfit. Flit flit flit... giggle and prance around the room leaping like a little fairy with that huge-ass bow.

I'm guessing the bow is so mondo because the swirl isn't much to brag about.

CaliGirl9 said...

Is this the brother to the guy in the diaper a week or so ago? They have that same ... glow of idiocy.
No offense to idiots.

CutNJump said...

Caligirl- good call!

One's missing the diaper, the other missing the bow.


He does look like this guy Todd I know. We called him the Toddler. There were plenty of reasons other than the obvious one- it fit his personality.

Weasel said...

Chevygirl- believe me, a LOT of people delete links to WWHM.

It's not something you share around the hearth with your kids. Unless you're sick and demented. Which, incidentally, I love.

Thanks for trying though, I love it when you guys try to spread the gospel.

anniebanannie said...

Blogger Weasel said...

Chevygirl- believe me, a LOT of people delete links to WWHM.
It's not something you share around the hearth with your kids. Unless you're sick and demented. Which, incidentally, I love.


I've shared WWHM with everyone including my boys ages 21 and 19. They think that their mother is a looney, but I tell them, read and learn young men! This website will serve you well if you heed the comments made.

Make no assumptions regarding YOUR regard for your penis. Only a homosexual will like it as much as you.

Oh, yes, male sexual organs can be a source fun for women but very few, if any women want your dick as much as you'd like them to...

Can I get an AMEN?

[sigh]My poor young impressionable flesh of my loins... it will be a wonder if they'll ever be able to get it up at all.

ChevyGirl said...

shoot weasel, if I really went to church every day, you bet I would tell everyone in the congregation :) My mother loves it I know that. The board I posted on, well I knew what was going to happen, they are all stick in the mud god fearin folk who think even saying twat is bad. So yes I got my shits and giggles in today :)


anniebanannie:

I will give you your AMEN!!! Poor guys now a days are just well so dumb, sorry but they are. They are like ungelded colts, no matter the fence, they will still try!

I think this blog needs to be for everyone, including parents who dont want their daughters going around doing dumb things or sons for that matter. Show them this blog and I bet they will forever be devoted to a convent :)

Vaquerogirl said...

Is that really you Weasel! OMG! I just threw up a little bit into my mouth...

Anniebananas-AMEN sistah'!

Nosnikta said...

LOL Amen.

We are a unique bunch. I love us :-)

CutNJump said...

I'll give you three Amens!!! Annie.

One for my 14 y/o daughter and one for each of the twins.

You are so right. Any man wanting any insight as to what really curls our toes and makes us go all aflutter, just read the comments and take good notes.

Consider the next date a pop quiz and the next real 'prospect' a test. Finals is just before you ask her to become your finance. I mean fiance`.

Even then you might not get a perfect score on everything, but you will at least know enough to get a passing grade!

I know the blog isn't for everyone- my mother wouldn't bother to look, as she doesn't need to see that kind of 'filth' on her screen. Think she's a bit set in her ways, there? Well she's well into her 70's so she's entitled I guess.

But I enjoy the snark, wit and colorful comments as well as everyone. It's a nice escape when the trolls show up over on FHotD.

Besides like Weasel says all the time- He can't even make this shit up! No kidding!

wheelin126 said...

LMAO!!

Don't you know who he is!!???? He is the Great Vagina Hunter! And no vagina has been able to get away from him yet....don't ya know. Well or at least fast enough lol. Hell it's not even a full moon out and the looneys are coming out. (teehee no pun intended)

JohnieRotten said...

Hey its one of Robin Hoods Merry Men without his tights!

Londyn said...

While I wish that I were one of the cool people who were around for the genesis of this blog, it matters little as this is absolutely one of the most hysterical sites I have encountered on the internet. Additionally, you've appealed to my laziness in that I used to have to actively seek out humour on CL, but now if I am tired I can simply come here and you have done the work for me. You and your witty insights (however much effort it must be writing "like a fucking 12 year-old infant at recess") are a gift. Thank you.

*Amber* said...

OMG is cupid really uncircumsized? I'm suprised you can tell under that tiny lil swirl.

ness said...

Weasel, I thought you said you was a skinny boy?????All I can see is some "action man"pelvis happening there

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

Whaaaaaat?

It just amazes me that someone thought it was a good idea to put that on the Internet.

water_bearer said...

Worst.
Halloween.
Costume.
Ever.

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