Even some of the most pathetic guys eventually learn they're not going to get laid online by taking grainy cellphone photos of themselves fucking mattresses.
But if you can't fuck a mattress, what can you fuck?
Well, if you're like this guy, you can fuck a park bench. Only, if your penis gets stuck in the park bench, well, then you have a whole new set of problems. Problems that your new friends from the local police and fire departments will handle professionally, as well as provide them stories for cocktail hour for the next six or seven generations. If you thought it was hard to get laid before, try getting laid after millions of people have seen you on the news attempting to copulate with metal park furniture.
No park benches around? Well why not do what everyone else does? Just grab a claw hammer, pour some actual motor oil into your anus, and fuck yourself with the claw hammer while your neighbors look on in absolute horror. Did I make that up? Of course not. Hope you're not a sucker for blue eyes.
Thankfully, some guys just fall back on good ol' feverish hand-to-gland combat. And judging by these dating video rejects, plenty of it. Thank God we can't impregnate sweatsocks.