Sunday, September 21, 2008

Audience Participation

"Birthday wish" -19

Well hung white man looking for a forked tongue hottie/beauty for a birthday blowjob (and yes it really is my birthday.) Ken

Awww.. looks like someone's mommy still buys him underwear for his birthday. How cute.

Now you just have to write "Tuesday" on the top with a black felt-tip marker.

You hung motherfucker, you!

Ken is hung like a...............................................(post in comments)

40 comments:

Weasel said...

Mosquito suffering from micropenis.

Anonymous said...

Right, how the hell does he think those pants will help him get laid? He isnt a brick.

YUCK.

Ashers said...

Pastel coloured My Little Pony ?

Anonymous said...

hampster

Mary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary said...

A cheeto soaked in lime jello

Mary said...

An "Oops! It's a poopy!" that tried to escape through the front flap

Mary said...

A Princess Barbie's Playhouse light switch

Mary said...

Woman

Mary said...

Really cold ameba that just crawled out of the Juno bay in the middle of January

Mary said...

John Wayne Bobbit before the reattachment

Mary said...

half eaten jelly bean left behind in your sisters Easter basket

Mary said...

Field mouse on crack that happens to be hidding in your Grandma Pearl's circulation panty hose

Mary said...

2 year old

Anonymous said...

balls... tennis balls..

Nosnikta said...

It looks like a penis only smaller.

horsegal said...

LMAO. You guys are all hysterical. Thanks for the laughs!

Well on the bright side.. who wants to try to deepthroat a big honkin long huge thing anyway? But just don't pretend to have one when um... you um.. obviously .. er.. DON'T! Maybe his wife has told him that all these years to stroke his ego or something. ("You ARE so LARGE honey, REALLY")

fleet said...

Wait, I missed this the first time I read the ad. FORKED TONGUE beauty? ...

Like, as in "Reptiles or GTFO"?

DJ said...

...miniature in a gallery of life-sized portraits. It's there somewhere. We just can't find it, and neither can he.

Indra said...

He's as well hung as he is rich, self dependent, and good looking.

CaliGirl9 said...

So he's looking for some sort of lizard or snake or alien to help him wank off? I've heard of having sexy times with dogs or sheep or whatever mammals, but reptiles? That's a new one.
Hope he finds one with a nice tongue and plenty 'o deadly venom. Darwinism at its best.

CutNJump said...

Geezus! Take off the glow in the dark, gag joke 'derwear from Spencers and put your Underoos back on.

I'm sure even Spiderman had a bigger schlong than that. Even for being a spider...

I would volunteer the gecko lizard I seen scaling the bedroom wall this morning, but not only would I NOT wish that on any living thing, I bet even a Komodo Dragon would choke on your small bone.

Nosnikta said...

His undies make me think of sherbet :-D

... in a tiny little spoon like they have at Baskin Robbins to sample the different flavors.

However, this sherbet would taste of chlorine and dried spewy.

kahara said...

Methinks Ken is the same dude that was masquerading as a stuffy upper class wine-drinker. lol

Everybody stay away from that blacklight switch.

Hmmm...
Ken is hung like a Rice Krispie before the Treat.

water_bearer said...

...wool Barbie tube sock, drying on the line after a hot wash.
WHAT.
THE....
seriously. Those may be the most asexual pair of undies I've ever seen, even without the small dank.

Anonymous said...

A Pimple............

water_bearer said...

And I have to add...
WHERE
are his balls?
Clearly he's got them if he posts an ad like this, so I know they're somewhere.
Mom's purse?
The little pocket on his 'Roos perhaps?

The Half-Assed Blog said...

... hung like a...




GELDING!

Nosnikta said...

Hmmm, I don't know. I have a 2yo gelding who is quite well hung. Hung like a horse you might say lmao. Actually, I had never noticed much difference in size among horses until this guy.

Anonymous said...

He's hung like a stud field mouse...or at least that's how big I would guess a stud field mouse is?

He must constantly be comparing himself to small children :roll eyes:--that or he's been looking in one of those mirrors where "objects are smaller than they appear".

Walk On said...

Is he hung at ALL?

Oh wait...maybe that isn't just a wrinkle...

Nicole said...

AH-HA! I get it now, Green panties, I mean briefs, for the "reptile" forked tongue I wants on his "peepee" (I'm pretty sure that is what he would refer to it as)...I saw this thing on tv that people are actually having this body mod thing where they split their tongue like a fucking snake. What's really gross is that they can move the different sides separately afterwards. Um, yeah that's right up there with "pony play" for me...a big WTF! (Pony play is where one person is the pony, and dresses like one too, and the other is the master. This fantasy usually comes to play in real stables and ranches for the day...which begs to lead to the next question, who the hell whould open up their stables to these people?)

EverClear said...

...tortoise

CutNJump said...

I'm betting on the glow in the dark britches so when Mommy turns out the light and closes the door he can still find his pecker under the blankets so he can rub one out 'like big boys do' before falling asleep.

Nosnikta said...

*** You hung motherfucker, you! ***

This makes me giggle each time I read it. I can just hear Weas yelling it at Mr. Green Bean.

Chezza said...

hermaphrodite hummingbird on steroids

Ella said...

a castrato.

sing pretty little man.

Anonymous said...

Awwww....I've done two or three Asian men in my time...maybe he's just Asian? The biggest I've seen, has been the size of my pinkie...which is about, huh--two inches? Perhaps he's just a well-hung two incher Asian dude?
Mind you--nothing wrong with the Asian dudes, but, in all seriousness, they are NOT NOT NOT well hung, in the slightest...and it might explain the cahreeeeeepy-ass yellow underwear, his MaMa bought for him.

Shelby Lynn said...

a tic tac

El-Mango said...

There was something hanging?