Sunday, September 21, 2008

Look At These Stupid Fucking Chickens

As seasoned WWHM readers may know, when I post a stupid picture of cats or something "cute", that means the next WWHM post contains a particularly vile photograph. This photo is intended to counteract the inevitable heaving the following post will induce.

I usually use cats, but unfortunately cats are stupid, ignorant, selfish imbeciles, and have recently instituted a boycott against WWHM-The Blog. So if your cat is being a fucking asshole prick to you today, it's because you're reading WWHM.

Or maybe it's because it's a fucking cat. It doesn't give a crap about you anyway. And when you die, it will eat you. Ha!

So today, we're introducing some baby chickens instead. Aren't they cute? I think they're cute, but would be much cuter slathered with cheese and ketchup and served with curly fries.

Hopefully chickens won't hear about this, or you're likely to get attacked by cocks. I'll let you determine whether that's a good or a bad thing.

Anyway, you know what these cute little chickens will grow up to be? Then read the title of the next post......

8 comments:

Nosnikta said...

.... at work.

.... saw the chickies.

.... gasped.

.... hesitated.

.... takes a deep breath and prepares.

Let me tell you a story about some chickies. A friend of mine had some eggs start to hatch out. The chickies were struggling... she helped them by picking little flakes of shell off their cute little heads. There were three of them. They looked tired and weak.

Thinking they looked cold and wet too, she put them under a heat lamp.

After an hour or so she went back to check on them and found she had the lamp WAY too close to the chickies and had cooked them ROFLMAO! She felt horrible, but it's too damn fucking funny not to laugh.

Ok... off I go to peek at the post of the day.

Ella said...

I take offense in the name of my cat. While, yes, he is a brat, he also thinks he's a dog/person so he's not the anal retentive scheming little shit that most cats are.

Though I was worried about the eating me if I die thing. Wellness checks anyone?

Mary said...

From young cock to petrified cock. Somehow the old fucker reminded me of a story on Paul Harvey this morning about an underground forest found in a cave. The trees, once green and luch, full of life and capable of sustaining life are now creepy petrified shafts covered in batshit and have an odor so strong, you have to wear a face mask to prevent puking.

horsegal said...

Gaawwdd Mary, that's hilarious.

My chicken story can't top nosniktas, but when I was young and growing up on the family farm, we gathered eggs from the hens for our family to eat.

Evidently a rooster got in the henhouse one day, and we missed a clatch of eggs for several days in the piles of hay... because when I was about 11 I cracked open an egg into the skillet only to find a fully recognizable baby chick inside.. that was still translucent enough to see it's little heart beating inside... uGH UGH uGH ugH UGH UGH UGH Put me right off eggs for several years. *shudder*

I'm over it now tho. LOVE eggs. As long as they are UNFERTILIZED thank you very much.

Nosnikta said...

Ohhhhhhhhh horsegal!!!! That would be the end of it for me. We have some hens and I ALWAYS crack home-grown eggs into a cup first before the pan. GAG GAG GAG and if there is ANY semblance of a tiny chick fetus off to the trash.

That makes me wanna puke.

CaliGirl9 said...

My cats were jerks this morning. But they were hungry. All's well now, with full bellies and morning naps arranged.
They would appreciate photos of chicks though. Something to play with. Don't think they'd eat 'em though.

CutNJump said...

Chickies are a nice change. Weasel I gotta send you the 'Old Rooster' email I just got this morning.

It would fit right in around here... Maybe instead I wil just post it.

CutNJump said...

OK so here's my rooster story-


A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, time for you to retire.'

The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
and I am taking over.'

The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squalking
and running as hard as he can.

The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

'Dammit..... third gay rooster I bought this month.'



Moral of this
story? ....

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -
age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery

always overcome youth and arrogance!