I'm taking tonight off from WWHM in order to get some more resumes out, but I'll be back tomorrow to dish up some more abuse, so be sure to check back.
WWHM traffic has gone up quite a bit lately, and so have the number of viewer emails. A lot of you ladies have been accusing me of being "out of the loop" with some of the interzweb's most douchetastic male idiots.
You are correct, and thankfully I have you guys to help me keep up. Keep sending them in!
Yesterday, we had "Mr. Right", and today, I present to you Atlanta businessman John Fitzgerald.
His personal webpage is a hodgepodge of laughably overstated accomplishments, and if you choose to take a look, I recommend the "About" page and the "Fitness" page for a chuckle or two.
Three words John: 1.Get 2.Over 3.Yourself.
John also made a name for himself on Match.com, as one unfortunate woman discovered when she winked at Mr. Alexander, who utilizes the modest screen name "IvyLeagueAlum". John responded with a lengthy diatribe about his apartment, his Ivy League schooling, his workout regimen, and his job.
Bored to tears, the woman replied "No thanks."
Would John leave it at that? Of course not. He had this pleasant response to her rebuff:
"I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren't any more of those!
You can read the entire exchange here, courtesy of Gawker.com.
You're all class, John. You're a grown man, and you actually quoted your hotness rating on "Hot or Not?", a website primarily utilized by 6th graders and the mentally challenged.
And lastly, you can view his wonderful appearance on Dr. Phil here, where he does a fantastic job of making himself look like a huge horse's ass. (No offense, horses.)
I wonder why you're still single John?
Tune in tomorrow for more personal ad shredding. And readers, please feel free to send me any comments, concerns, or general overviews of WWHM. I do this for you guys, and I want to keep you coming back every day. Let me know how I'm doing!