Monday, September 8, 2008

Gawker.com Goes WWHM On Idiot

Mr. Right Iz Here Waitin on U


Listen If U Really Wanna Get 2 Know Me Just Send Me A Note


Astute WWHM reader JD has a knack for sending in fantastic WWHM personal ads, including the douchebag Poor Pony featured earlier this morning.

JD also led me to this gem of a man recently featured on Gawker.com.

Mr. Right apparently placed an ad on Craigslist that not only featured brilliant copy inspired by the oft-neglected Romance languages, but also included 30 pictures of himself in various panty-wetting poses, including this one.

If you'd like to see more of his enclosed photos, you can see them here.

Mr. Right initially wasn't too embarrassed about the photos he sent in, until of course his ad went public to millions of Gawker readers, who promptly tore him to shreds like vultures ripping open a wounded wildebeest. Only then did he realize that perhaps a semi-grown man wearing a T-shirt of a clown holding a machine gun, coupled with completely ridiculous sunglasses inspired by the completely ridiculous Bush-loving Kanye West, might look, well, ridiculous. And don't even get me started on fanning $500 in twenties; that's a two-week McDonalds paycheck. Yes, I'll have fries with that.

Mr. Right really didn't like his ad getting posted for all the world to see, so he decided to call up Gawker and give them a piece of his mind. Below you will find his taped phone message, proving that this man is indeed just as clueless as his personal ad.



Mr. Right makes several points of note.

First, "Deez photos are minez." True, doze photos are his. And he posted them with the intention of sharing them with the public.

Second, he feels people "needs to axe me poimission" to re-print his photos. No, they don't.

Third, he could "pwess chahges on him cuz it's fwaaaad." No, genius, it's not "Fraud". Fraud is posting a picture of yourself holding a fan of $20 bills to imply that you are rich. When you are not.

Fourth, he's a "producer, you know...". Yeah, we know. Who isn't?

And lastly, he's going to call his lawyers, because he is "ten times smarter than these peoples." Uh, no...you're not. You're an idiot.

39 comments:

Lynda said...

"And don't even get me started on fanning $500 in twenties; that's a two-week McDonalds paycheck. Yes, I'll have fries with that."

Um Weas... according to Mr. Brilliant... that's a 1K dollars he's holding so its more like a months salary from McD's! LOL

This guy is such a loser. I do have a suggestion for him... Go into the Military! Learn how to speak! Oh and now the army will get you your GED if you didnt graduate from High School... Might be a good place to start to help with his speech impediment and his spelling...

The Hatter said...

Unfortunately, my computer won't show the recording, so, only half a star for this ad ;)

Nosnikta said...

:-| SNORT!!!!! LOL (giggle giggle)

Thingsthatperplexme said...

@ the hatter:

OMG, NO! You have to find a computer that will play it! It's the funniest part of the whole thing, lol!

You guys have to check out his other pictures too... one of my favorite comments by a Gawker reader (Chaim Gnadelstein) was "As a story told in pictures, this basically translates to:

"You want this money? FUCK YOU! How about this money? FUCK YOU! I like Batman, Kanye West sunglasses and fancy beards. MY FRIEND WAS REALLY ANGRY AT HIS WEDDING. FUCK YOU!"

Thingsthatperplexme said...

Also, Weasel, you have made one Gawker commenter's wish come true:
"Botswana Meat; If only there was a weekly column where the author would comb craigslist for the goofiest/skeeziest CL posts of the week, and then snark on them..."

Mzfilly said...

For those who cannot listen, someone actually typed up the damn transcript...

Holy cow...

"Yo' somebody emailed me, and they said you on that you this web site, these fotos are mines right? I posted in on craigslist list like prolly like 3 days ago, umm I look at my email because ya' know, people could reply to back to your craigslist if they wann' talk to ya'. Now, somebody emailed me, said you on this website. OK! I went to the website, it has my post and people write comments making fun of my pictures some guy that posted, ya' knowatameen? He wrote funny things about me, and basically ya know, the the the thing is that, he didn't axe me permission, That's the first thing! The second thing is, I can press charges on him because that's fraud, I mean, its like if I take your picture, of you naked, and you know, put in on a website, ya know tha that's fraud right there! You could, you could, you know that's unreasonable, he didn't write to me, he did not tell me anything, I don't know who is it, but whoever it is should be in trouble because, you posed to ask permission! Ya' know I get girls pretty much, ya' know I'm a young dude, I do what I do, I'm a producer. But, my whole, the whole problem is is not because of that. It's because why would somebody take my pictures without my permission? It's like taking your ***** social security and using it without your permission! That's fraud! Would you like somebody to take your pictures without your permission and then somebody that you don't know ezmails you and tells you on this picture? Listen! I don't care! I get girls. I was just a little ***** thing that my boy told me about, "craiglist, I was like what", he said he gets a lot of response, So I said aight, let me try it one time, then look what it came about. People are joking on me. You see the comments. One girl wrote a ***** comment there that is saying "Oh, ya know,.. he's a pretty guy, but they say he lives with his mommy, he got 600, WHAT THE *****?!?! That's EMBARRASSING!! What happens if I walkin the street and they say "oh look at that guy, oh he has,.. c'mon man like, thats, thats not cool!!

That's like a spit in my face! Like I would punch the ***** guy whoever did this and I will ***** him up because, you don't do that, you don't do ***** like that. Ya' know, I don't care whoever posted it up. I feel like pressing charges on this guy. And I don't care. So why have a website, this is, this is, this is a ques.., why have a website, if you don't, you can't have a website, running a website, you gotta have copyrights! What copyright does he have? Without my persmission. Because you see I'm not stupid. What's gonna happen is before I do any illegal actions, they gonna take it off and say it never happened. But ya know what? I'm ten times smarter than these people! Becuase I'm gonna record it,.. right now! Absolutley! You see, it's not your fault, but I know how business runs in New York. I know how it allll runs, these people, how they do it, they play smart, but I'm way smarter. I will call back later. I'm gonna call my lawyer. And this gonna be, this is gonna be problem. Cause I didn't like that. That's not funny."

Mzfilly said...

Wasn't that painful??

*headdesk*

Nosnikta said...

Gah.

Soooooooo someone took a photo of him and then posted it without his permission??? or is he crabbing because photos HE posted are being copied?

(sigh)... yeah, it wears me out.

Jennifer said...

Aww, I almost feel bad for the poor young dude. (giggle)

Thingsthatperplexme said...

Nosnikta - he's totally bitching that the photos *he took* and *he posted* are being used... like some shitty stallion owners we've seen.

CutNJump said...

Gawd! I doubt there's any way to really fix that level of stupid. Except with a gun and a well placed bullet. Somebody pass me a bottle of something to drink...

Nosnikta said...

(hee hee) he's a shitty stallion too.

(hands Cut the flask)

CutNJump said...

mzfilly-

I will pass you the brain bleach!

I am grateful you had the time and patience to sit through the blather and actually type out things as coherently as you could for the rest of us.

Hey asshole! Since I am sure you are lurking...

Do us all a favor and go kill yourself. Please. Really!

The only thing I can see you producing is multiple piles of puke from the women around you, everywhere you go. If you don't have the balls to do it yourself, I will gladly help you out. Just let me know...

CutNJump said...

Thanks Nos!

I may only get a sip or two, (rather than the three or four bottles I could use!) but that will have to suffice for now.

Anonymous said...

All those twenties... forget MickyDs and think drug dealer.

Nosnikta said...

I think he got his glasses in a Happy Meal though.

Anonymous said...

Producer! I'm sure! I'm a producer as well! When I am done shoveling out the barn, I have "produced" 100's of pounds of horseshit!!!!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps he's a "proven color producer"?

Thingsthatperplexme said...

LOL! proven color producer.. that kills me..

Biskuits said...

I'm a producer of carbon dioxide; maybe he's a producer of that, too?

I seriously thought those sunglasses were photoshopped on as one of those "identity hider" thingies until I saw the stems. Why would anyone willingly put something like that on his face?

The Half-Assed Blog said...

By far your best work ever, Weasel, love the multimedia experience!!


And what the HELL is it with the stupid glasses that look like Venetian blinds? That does not say "cool" to me. It says "Hi, I am a douchebag. Please laugh."

CutNJump said...

Biskuits said...
I'm a producer of carbon dioxide; maybe he's a producer of that, too?



You, me and the rest of us may be producing carbon dioxide, but the only thing this guy is capable of producing is methane gas. From both ends.

Walk On said...

I like the
"And I know how da business iz run in New Yawk..."

(Translation: I'm trying to suggest that I'm "connected" with people who all have the middle name of "The". Like Tony The Blade, Bobby The Kneebreaker....ect".)

The word "Fucktard" was invented for people like him. And like, is the picture of him flipping the finger supposed to turn a woman on?

I forget who called this guy a douchebag, but hey, leave the poor innocent douchebags out of it! They don't deserve that!

Jennifer said...

Proven color producer, LOL! That's great!

todd said...

This has to be a joke. Or the recording at least. No one is that much of idiot.

Mzfilly said...

CNJ---

I am not sure whether to be flattered or horrified that you think that I had the time to write all that blithering idiocy down!

No, someone else did it on another forum. I just CUT N pasted it here, solely for your entertainment.

I will, however, take the bleach. I was actually considering flipping to the kitten.

Kitten---idiot in weird glasses---Kitten---idiot flipping me off---kitten---hmmm, maybe I will just stick with the kitten.

Lynda said...

Ok here's an idiot in NH...

http://nh.craigslist.org/m4w/831484489.html

verylargecolt said...

Oh my god...can you IMAGINE how great my blog would be if we got VIDEO responses from my targets?

I should encourage that.

Nosnikta said...

LOL, yes, that would be interesting. However, you can't photoshop your butt on a video, can you?

The Half-Assed Blog said...

Cathy- I say we set up a Fugly hotline for compaints.
1 800-ASSHAT.

Calls will be recorded to ensure quality customer service. *snort* And let the rest of us laugh our asses off.

Kokorami said...

Do you folks mean to tell me someone actually seriously wears those shades? I'm so dying to get some fabric scraps and make up little matching drapes for the sides.

Londyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Londyn said...

I get behind on these because my internet usage is monitored at work. The same work where people who sounds like this call me every day. I love listening to voicemails like this. And I love that he has no grasp of the English language whatsoever. Not proper English, not American English, not British English, not even Black English Vernacular, I mean come ON!

Thank you Weasel for suffering through these to provide us entertainment.

Anonymous said...

so...did he cash out his life savings for this photo?

Maggieliz said...

What's with the picture of his girlfriend in the background? 'Cause if that's his sister, they must have one "close" relationship

Anonymous said...

No, he's wrong. It's beyond funny. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Oh, God. If someone ever finds out what his lawyer (assuming he actually has one) said, please post it! I wish there would be a tape of the man/woman laughing him out of their office, but I know there's no way we'd be that lucky.

That was awesome. Fraud! Haha! :)

Elvishswimmer said...

"Listen If U Really Wanna Get 2 Know Me Just Send Me A Note"

I have no clue why he needs more notes... he seems to have a lot of them already....

Enough in fact, to buy the best of the best in the sunglasses department!

Mocha said...

Whoa.. that brotha is pissed. LOL. Well we need more diversity on this site anyway. It can't be that just white dudes are crazy. LOL