Attractive, trim, loyal young woman (20’s) wanted, to devote herself to me and my life. You must really feel the need to be important to and supportive of an older man (40’s). Cooking, sewing, sweeping and cleaning will be your input. Must be sensual and exploring in bed, to be made love to often as well as being my little chew toy when the mood suits. I live simply and inexpensively and you will be my helpmate. Please do not have friends that would interfere with your duties. Please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. Nick.
After a week full of disgusting cocks, the staff here at WWHM decided to get back to our bread and butter:
Huge fucking dicks.
And here's one of 'em. Served up fresh with a dollop of asshole and slathered with a moist, thick sheen of Whig party propaganda. Just slide him in the wood oven, set the temperature to the year 1820, and baste occasionally with the butter you'll be churning while wearing a frilly mid-century maid's bonnet and hand-carved wooden clogs.
Nick just recently got a divorce, which sometimes happens when a woman finally figures out how to chew through the rope binding her to a wooden fucking wagon wheel. Now Nick seeks a new
According to Nick, "cooking, sewing, sweeping and cleaning will be your input." That slurping sound you hear is the instant regeneration of every hymen within a 100 mile radius of this personal ad. Vaginas close like Blockbuster stores every time Nick shows up, because to him your orgasms are just as important as your friends: you don't need any. Why should you? You're a woman. All you need is a broom, a waffle iron, and a vacuum cleaner. Which, ironically, are the next three things Nick's going to have sex with.
I have a feeling Nick's gonna be doing a lot of "exploring" of himself in the next 3, 4 or 588 years. That's what happens when you sincerely believe the key to a woman's heart also opens the adjacent mop closet.
Still need a "helpmate" Nick?