Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Who's Your Daddy?


Are You a Daddy's Girl

I am looking for a young lady for quality Daddy-Daughter time. Do you want Daddy to makes thing all right again? Your Daddy will tell you how proud he is of you. You and I will explore the Daddy-Daughter sexual relationship. I'll give you whatever you need and of course, Daddy's little girl wants to please her Daddy. Your Daddy will tell his little girl exactly what to do. You: cute, smart, warm, perky and with a smile that can melt Daddy’s heart. Notice my pic will not be a dick shot...I have more class than that. Nate

After yesterday's freak penis debacle, I'm sure you are all ready for a nice, clean breath of fresh air. And by "a nice, clean breath of fresh air", I mean "a creepy old douchebag looking to score on teenage chicks."

Meet Nate, the founding member of the American Society of Scumbags Hoping to Attract Teenagers (ASSHAT). When not grunting rhythmically in the bushes during cheerleading practice with a handful of Taco Bell condiments, Nate might be found at a bus stop in a short raincoat waiting for a strong breeze, or feeding salty snacks to young girls at a track meet while wearing a t-shirt that says "Good French Kissers Get Free Juice."

Nate is seeking a father-daughter relationship. Originally, I thought he wanted a normal father-daughter relationship, meaning he wanted to find a teenage girl that would fuck a tattooed ex-prisoner in a van with a bubble window outside his bedroom at 3am. But then I realized he wanted more of a Woody Allen type of father-daughter relationship, the kind where both mother and daughter share two ends of the same kielbasa.

I imagine all his touchy-feely Daddy encouragement didn't pan out too well with his first daughter. Which might explain why she works the day shift at a club called "Lick It Up", has a clit ring imprinted with the phrase "Taste My Milkshake", and buys thongs with built-in EPT strips. Hopefully she'll move back home by her 13th birthday.

But thanks for not showing us your dick.

You classy guy.

72 comments:

The Hatter said...

I have nothing witty to say about this.... Just..... eeeewwwwww

fjordwoman said...

It's so heartwarming to know that pedophiles have a platform on which they, too, may find "love".
He reminds me of a professor I once knew.

ryan said...

Great. Im still needing brain bleach from yesterday. Add pediphiles. Horray. I need therapy now. Thanks weasel.

ryan said...

molester van.

Nosnikta said...

Fucking perv is what he is.... nothing more, nothing less.

I did get a laugh out of EPT built in to the thong though. Clever!

Ashers said...

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Did I mention wrong ???

Get some help.

Evergrey said...

In steps the former professional dominatrix!
He's prolly wanting to role play. You see a lot of "daddies" in the gay leather scene too. It's quite likely that he is interested in people his own age.

Oh Weasel, you are so innocent! There is waaaaay worse out there. Fecophiles, for instance.

CutNJump said...

That could have been written by Michael Jackson himself. If, of course the guy were seeking little boys, but still...

What a creep! Maybe I should tell Browneyed Cowgirls so when she starts spewing her insults she can at least spew them towards people who are deserving of them.

ella said...

I just love how he thinks he's a 'classy guy.' Even if he isn't being a pedophile, like evergrey supposed, it still doesn't exactly make him sophisticated. Far from it. Far, Far, Far from it.

Anonymous said...

In this one instance, I kind of have to stick up for the guy and say he isn't a pedophile...atleast I don't think so. It sounds like he wants a girl "of age" to pretend to be his daughter because, you know, incest is so hot...*gag*

4thehorses said...

And again I pose the question, why are men so fucking perverted???

CaliGirl9 said...

4thehorses, y chromosomes make perfectly good humans/creatures of any type do incredibly dumb things.

This is because the first brain they tend to us use happens to be the one stored in their pants. Sadly, they do not engage the proper one often enough.

Except for our own Weasel, of course *wink!*

Nosnikta said...

Evergrey is a former dominatrix???'

HA! coooooool! How did you keep from laughing?

CutNJump said...

Caligirl- are you trying to explain the sick joke that is- Men have two heads but only enough blood to operate one at a time...

Nos- if it paid enough, you could probably keep a strait face too. I doubt I could as I would be laughing about that very part of it- he's is paying me to do this? ROFL!

Avoluv said...

Evergrey tried her best to keep from laughing. You should check the fugly forum, non horse related section - there's an interesting thread about her right there. ^.^


Oooh, we're commenting on Weasel's post? Hmm, how about...
Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew.

Nosnikta said...

This guy makes me so ill that I can't even find any humor in it. I don't care of the girls are "of age"... he wants to fantasize that they are AND fantasize that they are his daughter. This is one sick fuck in my book.

Dominatrix? Ya know Cut? I think you're right... I could do it if the pay were astronomical lmao. Cripes it would support my horse habit AND give me some good laughs!

kahara said...

"Do you like candy, cute little girl?"

What a fucking sick perve. I'm sure he frequents the kiddy chat rooms, too.

Evergrey said:
"Oh Weasel, you are so innocent! There is waaaaay worse out there. Fecophiles, for instance."

Ew, yeah, like those people that freeze their turds then use them as a dildo. *shudders* Gives new meaning to and reason for PID.

Thingsthatperplexme said...

I don't even want to do someone else's daddy, let alone one pretending to be mine. *gag*

I quit being single. I'll be "Unavailable" instead.

dukie said...

The founding father of ASSHATs-what a legacy. He has spawned many variations of scumbaggism. May he be forever corn-holed.

Anonymous said...

I agree with evergrey in that this sounds like an attempt to find a role-playing partner. Sweet, innocent Weasel.

ChevyGirl said...

sticks and stones
may break my bones
but whips and chains excite me




and I have nothing else to say because this guy needs to be locked up. All pedophiles should have the death sentence anyway, even those that just want to role play being a pedophile


ohhhhh hoooooo

Weasel said...

Alright naysayers-

I know it's just an ad for role-playing.

This site contains light mockery and satire.

I'm sure he's pretty normal- just a little deluded that some woman might answer this ad.

I DO NOT think he's a pedo. I'm just making fun of his bad ad.

Anonymous said...

My only regret is that I am too damned old to play the part of his Daddy's Girl......sigh........

FerretFan said...

Roleplayers are just people that are too damn chickenshit to do that stuff in real life.

I have never understood the "daddy" thing. Here in the south a lot of women call their husbands "daddy". Freaks you out the first few times you hear it and makes you wonder if all those redneck incest jokes are true.

If I called my SO "daddy" I'd have to stop what I was doing and puke
before continuing. Talk about a downer for foreplay.

Evergrey said...

Haha, I disagree, roleplayers aren't always "too cickenshit" to "do the real thing." Maybe the real thing is totally a turn-off for them, or amoral. I mean, would you want someone to actually be a "naughty police officer?" heh.

But no, I know Weasel, I know. I enjoy the hell out of your blog, no worries. Just pointing out that he's probably not a pedo at all.

The fact that he felt the need to say that he wasn't posting a photo of his dick is classic though. Look, if you have to SAY that you are classy...

And as for being a pro domme... well some people liked being laughed at. Some I really enjoyed and didn't feel like laughing at. Others who were hilarious but would have had hurt feelings by being laughed at? Well, that's what the employee lounge was for, heh. Oh the stories. The stories.

Anonymous said...

oh wow.... i actually threw up in my mouth on this one.
actually, this is my second time doing that the guy with the micro-cock did me in last time...and i think all that stomack acid is starting to eat away at my esophogus linging

thanks alot weasel :)

*Amber* said...

OMG that ASSHAT explanation was priceless!

Anonymous said...

I disagree about role-players being "chickenshit" as well. Not to mention that some role-playing games cannot be accomplished by the participants in real life. I'm not a teacher but I sure don't mind playing one.

And Weasel, you may know this guy isn't a pedophile but it seems that a lot of your readers haven't come to the same conclusion.

CutNJump said...

Maybe he is, maybe he's not- a pedo. Maybe he's just looking for an 18 y/o willing to wear a school girl uniform and sit on his lap. Sounds like a lot of normal guys fantasies, but still way within range of the creep-o-meter.

Nosnikta said...

I had an old guy grope and try to kiss me about a year ago this time. The sickest part about it is the fact that his kids are my age. I'm no school-girl, but that creeped me out to no end.

This dude will go through his entire life wanting some "little girl" to grope on. Makes me puke. I'd like to go mamma-bear on him and show him that real women don't tolerate this crap.

Ok.. did I say I was crabby today?

colorisnteverything said...

Once again you amaze me with your wit!

Nosnikta said...

Me??????? (snort giggle)

Ok Ok, I know it's not me... but it looks that way!!! :-P

CutNJump said...

Nos- I would have kicked his nuts up into his lung cavity. Far enough to make him choke on them.

Nosnikta said...

His kids are friends of mine and they own a bar we frequent. He took me totally off-guard. It was near my birthday and he snuck up on me and said he wanted to give me a b-day kiss. I tried to be nice at first but he wouldn't step back. Then I did lift a knee and shoved him. I quickly made my exit and went back to where hubby and a friend were sitting. The look on my face made them ask "wtf?". I told them and my girlfriend uttered a huge "EWWWWWWWWW!"

The WORST part was the fact that a group of my friends had planned a surprise party for me a couple days after that. Hubby was playing some mean tricks on me to get me to bar-hop closer to that place and I'm yelling "I am NOT going to blah blah!" So what does he do???? turns right down that street!

I'm having a panic attack because I did NOT want to go back there. Then 40 people stepped out into the street in front of our truck. I was flabberghasted.

They had planned the party for that place and I had no choice!!!! Hubby had been sneaking phone calls telling my friends I wasn't cooperating lol. Heck, I even threatened to jump out of the truck!

It all ended ok, cuz Old Mr. Perv steered clear of me... and has since.

It was one of THE most disturbing experiences of my life though. Gack.

wheelin126 said...

Maybe he cries every time he looks in a mirror too because he's just sooo damn beautiful. They must know each other since hanging out at the elementary schools to pick up girls.

As for being too classy to show us a dick shot I beg to differ I think he showed a BIG dick shot the only thing is he has his head swirled..lol

El-Mango said...

Daddy dearest there just sealed his fate - BEING ALONE FOREVER!

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