I'll make you cum like never before
I'll pound your f'ing pussy just like you like it all my exgfs keep blowing up me cellpone "yore the best" but I need sum new pussy. Good with my mouth, good with my hands, good with my tungue, great with my perfect dick.Got a perfect dick and body you'll beg for more pretty soon youll be calling me to hahaha. Tyler XXX-XXX-XXXX
Yeah, yeah, yeah…you’re the best. Never hear that one around the WWHM offices.
If sexual prowess was a cut of meat, every fucking spindly, dried chicken claw of a man would claim they were a cut of kobe beef.
Unfortunately, nine times out of ten the guy that brags about his sexual prowess couldn’t excite a loyal dog after a six month vacation. The shy, nerdy guy in the corner reading a book about Indian pottery? He’ll fuck you so hard you’ll burp up a half-digested bedpost into a pile of shredded pillows while your vagina fills out the assault paperwork.
Tyler is just another boring braggart. “I can make a nun cum by reading Bible verses,” he’ll boast, as a line of ex-girlfriends behind him exchange Energizer battery coupons, and try to breathe a little life into their overused, high-mileage dildos with their arthritic fingers.
Just because you're a great lay to one girl doesn't mean you'll be a great lay to the next, Tyler. A bored, neglected virgin may feel a weak spark of excitement when you handle her pussy like you're buff sanding the cat scratches off the arm of an antique chair, but an experienced girl will be bored to tears. She might be there in spirit, but her G-spot is in the fucking kitchen having a smoke and watching Seinfeld.