A Probing Question

Are you a woman into prostate massage? Milk this...

I am looking for a talented woman that knows what she is doing. What you see is what you get. Thanks Michael


There's something completely wrong with this picture. Can you spot it?

A single guy who actually placed a full roll of toilet paper on the toilet paper dispenser? Hahahaha!! Thanks again Photoshop!

Maybe next time, you can use Photoshop to create the illusion of yourself cleaning up the piss you sprayed all over the toilet seat like you had been urinating drunk during an earthquake while being attacked by a ferocious bear.

Anyway, meet Michael. Michael's been a little lonely lately, and he decided he would like to meet the girl of his dreams. A nimble young blonde, perhaps, her hair smelling of loganberries and dolphin snout extract. A good cook, a tremendous lover, and an intellectual stalwart. "How," Michael asked himself, "do I attract such a woman?"

Easy to do Michael! First, put on a cheap brown golf shirt. Then take off your pants, go into the bathroom and throw some garbage and a plunger on the floor. Lift the toilet seat, sit down, and masturbate furiously. Once you're hard, snap a photo. Then write some romantic copy like "Milk this....." and "Thanks."

Think you got every woman's loins quivering like an epileptic seahorse now?

Not quite.

But I want to enroll in your sailing class, because every woman that read this ad just tied their fallopian tubes into triple-shank sheep knots that could hold a fucking cruise ship to a dock in Hurricane Ike.