Sunday, July 13, 2008

Bad Boy




ONE GOOD BAD MAN FOR YOU ............................


YEAH I HAD MY MOMENTS WHILE GROWING UP WHEN I PLAYED MOSTLY ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE LAW, BAD HABITS,ILLEGAL OCCUPATIONS,FIGHTS,JAIL, YOU NAME IT. IM ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES , AND WILL EVEN ADMIT IM WRONG SOMETIMES. I AM VERY SENSUAL/SEXUAL ALSO LOVE BELLY PEIRCINGS AND CAN LOOK JUST AS SEXY IN JEANS AND A T-SHIRT AS THEY CAN IN A PARTY DRESS.I LIKE TO SHOP .ANY TAKERS?


Well, here you go ladies, here's your "bad boy".

Wantonly tearing those "Do Not Remove This Tag" tags off mattresses, brazenly taking seven items through the "Six Items or Less" line at Safeway, and then pounding 12-ounce cans of Diet Tab like it was fucking beer or something.

Look out dogs and cats! Look who's coming down the alley! It's THAT guy! I hope he's not on his way to go SHOPPING! Because he LIKES that shit! It says so in his bad-ass personal ad!

Let us get to the point ladies, and this one is for you too as well gents.

It's the unforgettable rule of the bar scene. It is infallible, and 100% true, and the women know this, so listen up.

The Weasel's Fifth Rule of Inserting the Phrase "Bad Boy" Into Conversation:

A true "Bad Boy" will never, EVER tell anyone that he is indeed a bad boy.

Every time I hear a guy in a bar tell a girl he is a "bad boy", I want to stick fucking carrot peelers in my ears and chew on a mouthful of nails, because I know he likes to eat warm cookies and watch Real World while sipping medicinal tea to soften his stool.

You're not a "bad boy" if you own a motorcycle or have a tattoo. That only means you're just another prissy dickhead with no originality and deep insecurities about your penis size.

However, if your boyfriend goes out for milk and calls you a week later from the Georgia State Penitentiary infirmary with Doberman bites on his ballsack and a airplane load of stolen emus high on heroin to explain, then you have yourself a bad boy.

Congratulations, and enjoy the chlamydia.

Thanks L.

11 comments:

WemosMom said...

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/m4w/753920036.html

Seriously.. if anyone/anything belongs in this topic.. its this guy..

Seriously dude.. Holy fuckin wow

Weasel said...

Oh yeah, I'm logging that one under "very possible."

BELEN said...

WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE THE "ILLEGAL OCCUPATIONS" WERE?

Walk On said...

Bleh.

Whenever a guy starts w/ the "I'm a bad boy" routine, I figure it's gonna end up with them wanting me to put them in dipers and spank them. :P

My only response "sorry, I'm into MEN, not "boys" of any kind".

Bleh.

Kokorami said...

"I been with a lot of girls and they all wanted to change me but i refused to be a sexy tool."

Um, no. It's not the girls' fault (assuming anyone really would go out w/you, let alone admit to it). It's because NOTHING short of the HAND OF THE DIVINE will change YOU from a regular garden-variety generic tool to a sexy one.

gemtwyst said...

You're not a "bad boy" if you own a motorcycle or have a tattoo. That only means you're just another prissy dickhead with no originality and deep insecurities about your penis size.

LMAO!!! This is one of the deep truths of the universe. I'm always amazed by the scrawny jerk-offs who think that owning a motorcycle suddenly gives them anything more than marble-sized testicles.

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

A true "Bad Boy" will never, EVER tell anyone that he is indeed a bad boy.

That is SO true. The real ones will argue 'til they're blue in the face that they are nice guys, while you choke on your drink and ask them if you need to make them a list of the shit they do.

CutNJump said...

Gee would his name have happened to have been John? Is he from the east coast? I could swear I know him!

CutNJump said...

FHOTD- NO SHIT! They are always on guard and trying to ever convince you otherwise.

Psssshaw!

Me a bad boy?

Banish the thought!

wheelin126 said...

LOL his illegal occupations were that is trying to pass himself off as bad boy in personal ad!! What a wanna be douche bag.

Anita said...

Hey, Tab is diet soda ;)