Monday, July 14, 2008

Best of WWHM. How To Pick Up Chicks. By Tom.

This is not going to work out

I know this is not going to work out. Chicks are way too complicated. Sometimes I hate my creator making me straight. Guys are easy going. Just up for easy, clean, safe fun. No drama. Not with girls. There is always drama involved. Fuck it, call me if you want XXX-XXX-XXXX Tom

Jesus, Tom, who shit in your Rice Chex?

Let's analyze the intricate methodology in Tom's personal ad:

1. Start out by stating it won't work.
2. Blame women for being complicated.
3. Blame God for making you straight.
4. Essentially admit your gay.
5. When no one's looking, take a shit on a beach rock and pretend to look for sea otters.

So in summary, there are two types of women that might date you.

1. Desperate marine biologists.
2. Clay Aiken.

Yes. I went there.


Chronicles of Kim said...

This is the funniest blog ever!

Weasel said...

If I can cause one person to emit milk from their nose, I've done my job.

Le said...

Hahahahaa you're hilarious!!! I hope Tom isn't Asian (can't tell from his take-a-dump-on-the-rocks pic) cuz I would be soooo embarrassed!

wheelin126 said...

I think even Clay Aiken would set his standards a little higher than this shit on rocks kinda guy!! Hopefully he's better in the house!!!

El-Mango said...

*dies laughing* -cough cough wheeze!-