so i'm a slightly above average guy .. i'm taller than average .. bigger than average .. smarter and nicer too. Unfortunetly I'm also broke at the moment. Does anyone know of any jobs available on weekday evenings? I'm great at oral and love to please if that's what you need. Darrin.
Darrin, you know what what you and your personal ad both have in common? Neither of you work.
Let's go back to fifth grade and perform a dissection. Back then it was a frog, and today it will be Darrin.
Oddly, both reek of formaldehyde.
First, to judge an average woman's reaction, I invited my feverishly horny intern Beulah into the lab and posed this question: Beulah, would you rather pay this man to have sex with you, or eat a week-old squirrel waffled into the road? Beulah promptly scavenged around the lab for a bit, and left with a spatula, a bag of salt, and a tea straw.
What went wrong here? Why doesn't this ad work? Besides the fact that an unemployed Darrin snapped a grainy cellphone photo of himself in the basement of a back-alley Guadalajara abortion clinic while ensconced in his prized "forested penis" outfit?
The reason it doesn't work is as plain as that hummingbird leg he's holding in his fingers.
More commonly known as "the nirvana of female visual erotic stimulation," Darrin neglected to throw on a pair of dirty unmatched sweatsocks to complete the ad. Maybe next time Darrin, maybe next time.
On the bright side, I hear Gap Kids needs bra models.