Saturday, July 19, 2008

Weasel's Workout Pick-Up Moves



The Weasel woke up to a beautiful Saturday morning today. And what better to do on a sunny Saturday than go down to the beach and pick up some chicks?

I really like to use the indirect approach. Make them come to me. So I pulled on my white sweatsocks halfway up to my knees, grabbed a tight black speedo, and drove down to the beach in my lowered Honda Accord to show them my sweet new karate moves I just learned.

Because I know what chicks really like.

Karate moves.

With Speedos.

Ed note: This guy couldn't protect you from a shy bunny.


30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my... hold me back from that chunk of manhood!!!!

The Hatter said...

Notice the he almost fell after doing the high kick. e.e

I went to the beach recently, and, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH OVERWEIGHT OLDER GUYS WEARING SPEEDOS?!?!?

Nearly made me hurl.

wheelin126 said...

LMFAO!! He had a hell of a time getting that leg in the air over his manhood shade covering (gut). HAHAHA I really needed a good laugh and thank you once again for providing just what I needed...your such a good provider Weasel ;)

Bridget said...

Oh I hurt I'm laughing so hard!!! I esp. like the laughing in the background.

water_bearer said...

I kept waiting for him to bust out with 'The Crane' a la Karate Kid, or at least some Dirk Diggler-esque 'chop' moves. BTW, Dirk Diggler-esque is a great name for a rock band.

Anonymous said...

LOVE IT!

~jilly

LostSoul said...

Kung Fu Panda never looked so real. x.x

Walk On said...

Umm..If I was that suck ass at martial arts, I would NOT be displaying my lack of skills that way.

I'm barely qualified as a white belt, and I have little doubt I could kick his ass. All I'd really have to do is draw him into a roundhouse kick so he falls over. :P

Horrible form for every move, I'm guessing he learned everything he knows from watching Kung Fu Panda.

Walk On said...

lol, hey Weasel, check this out

http://tinyurl.com/6zlj2g

Can we highlight number six a little? Like...in 200 point font? :)

Guess we better not, you'd have to find a new blog topic.

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

Wow. It's like Billy Blanks after someone chained him to a chair in their basement and force-fed him Krispy Kremes for three months.

Speedos are only a good idea if you are (a) super fit and (b) looking to pick up other men. Then, they are an excellent wardrobe choice!

Charisma_Forecast said...

Wow, your site not only warns the general public of people who should promptly be rocket launched out of the gene pool but it also serves as a wonderful diet plan. I saw that video and suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore!

Perhaps you could slide that into your promotional material!

Weasel said...

I love the way he keeps looking around to see if the "chicks" are checking him out.

Anyway, loved this, and posted it because methinks we might try to sway this website into a more general "Why Women Hate Men", because there are so many more reasons besides bad persoanl ads to show that some guys out there are just fucking morons when it comes to women, and they fucking embarrass my kind.

Send any ideas in to me.

Oh man this guy kills me. I thinkit's the paradox of how cool he thinks he looks vs. how uncool women think he looks.

Weasel said...

Jesus I'm a monkey.

Let's try again.

"How cool he thinks he looks vs. how uncool he actually looks in the eyes of women."

Chicks will dig my protective karate skills.

He couldn't protect you from a bunny.

Lynda said...

This guy needs a bra.... a D cup atleast!

Thanks for the Blog! I love it!

Walk On said...

More general works for me. :)

YouTube is a virtual goldmine of idiot fratboy types.

CutNJump said...

Oh, Baby! Put on a wife beater T and a pair of boxer shorts... Almost forgot the stogi hanging out the side of his mouth as he scratches himself while lying in the recliner in front of the TV.

I am so on it.

*horks convulsively*


Wow I didn't know swinging your ape like arms and walking around kicking like a Rockette once or twice consisted of an entire workout resulting in a body like HIS!

Even the seagull seemed, um, disinterested.

Probably a reason for that.

The Half-Assed Blog said...

That guy made the seagull look just BEAUTIFUL.

dukie said...

Whassup with you all mocking this fine figger of a man?

Liz said...

I think your giggling in the background is what really makes this priceless! Let's pray this guy never has to defend himself.

iloverocky said...

I always wanted a man who could take out five innocent people falling while attempting to round house kick one 'bad' guy. I think I have found Mr. Right.

Jilly said...

So after watching this little chunk of comedy gold again, I've decided this mans real deal.

He is a wanna be ultimate fighter or cage wrestler. I'd bet my life on it. Hence the little panties and socks.

He's not looking for women, he's looking for Cactus Jack to come walking up and challange him with lots of yelling and finger in chest poking and possibly hit him over the head with a folding chair.

No? Ahh, well, it played well in my own little mind.

MinxyQ said...

*swoon*...you must really work out to get that physique!

CutNJump said...

I went back and watched it again.

I like how he walks past the blond woman who is laying on the beach- Facing AWAY from him and he keeps looking at her like she will turn her head and Notice HIM.

He is the type of guy who will go to the gym- do squats in the freeweight area, with a total of 45 lbs and while lifting the weight for a set of 2, groan and wail like a nut just exploded and drop the weights to the floor!

Nosnikta said...

I love how he continues to check himself out as he walks around.

Flex flex... HIYAH! kick.. shake shake... punch, look down and check himself out again.. HIYAH... ACK.. stumble stumble (I meant to do that because I have catlike reflexes).... ooops.. I have a boner... stands up a little straighter so it can be seen from under the belly.

Anonymous said...

Weasel, you should post the first one of these vids as well--it was shorter, but nearly as good as this one was! BTW, LOVE the blog! I've been needing more humor in my life. ;-)

Merridyn said...

Is he drunk? Please, please, please tell me he's trashed. That wouldn't do a damned thing for his looks (or wardrobe choice), but at least we could assume that he has better coordination than a newborn giraffe! And the jiggleing man boobs. Pass the brain bleach!

Biskuits said...

My ego would never let me date a man whose tatas are bigger than mine, saggy from all his ungraceful hopping or not. The fact that he'd be utterly unable to defend my good name is only slightly more off-putting XD

Etta said...

Thanks for writing this.

Igraine said...

Jesus. OMG. I am a yoga teacher and sometimes guys like this will come to class. One way to hot and professional martial artist liked to do martial arts moves between yoga asanas. He was so cool! He hit on every woman in the place, including a lesbian couple.

Hammerhead said...

My first thought on watching this video was "my god, his form is HORRIBLE!"

Seriously, I have taken martial arts for a number of years, and watching this man flail around made me cry a little on the inside.