Friday, July 4, 2008

Simple Minds



What is the meaing of life?

so if a bear shits in the forrest and no one is around, does it stink?

Also the song "vibin" from boys II men is a great song.

maybe we should chat more


But please have a va jay jay, thx Chrisoph

This personal ad reminds me of why several of my female friends often say “Sometimes I wish my boyfriend would just shut the hell up and fuck me.”


I think Christoph is one of these boyfriends. Good looking and well-built, with the charisma of a Wal-Mart carrot peeler, and the intelligence of a stale Saltine soup cracker.

When I meet guys like Christoph and the conversation turns towards politics or the arts, I notice their eyes usually start to wander off into space behind me.

Maybe they’ve spotted a rare owl, I sometimes think. Or maybe they’re analyzing a stalactite behind me, hypothesizing at the chemical composition of its striations.

And inevitably when I turn around, there is nothing but open, blank space.

Their blank stares reflect the horizons of their deepest thoughts; visions of peanut butter sandwiches, crayons, and how cool it would be to have a shiny new tractor.

Offering his views on philosophy and music, I’m not sure if this is indeed his personal ad, or his valedictorian speech for the Poughkipsee Campus of the DeVry Scuba Institute.

Either way, he closes the ad by using the word “va-jay-jay”, a word only acceptable when uttered by women, or by Tyra Banks.

You can re-read that last sentence if you want to.

4 comments:

sellefrancais said...

"Either way, he closes the ad by using the word “va-jay-jay”, a word only acceptable when uttered by women, or by Tyra Banks.

You can re-read that last sentence if you want to."

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Hahahahaha.

Walk On said...

Just discovered your blog... OMG FUNNY! Largely because it's all true - sadly enough. That older one w/ the phone call? Yeah, I think I met that clown too. :P Or maybe there's two like that... ::::Shudder::::

xenobiologista said...

Haha, been watching too much America's Next Top Model?

Anonymous said...

No one over the age of 12 of either gender should use the word "va-jay-jay".