Monday, July 21, 2008

WWHM Fashion: My Ass-Padded Briefs

Women love a full, tight, hard ass on a man.

Why? Because it means you can shit harder than other men. Duh.

Anyway my ass sags like a laundry cord saddled with wet sleeping bags.

Women generally like to be able to bounce a quarter off your ass, and if you do that with me, kiss that quarter goodbye because you may have well thrown it into a deep vat of week-old coagulated oyster stew.

So I bought these briefs, armed with the lastest in ass-puffering technology, and boy, has my outloook improved.

Drop some change? Hey, let me get that for you.

Need me to climb up that ladder for you? Sure, but don't act like you're a wolf and my ass is a dripping hot basted turkey for your selfish mongrel-like devouring.

Women want to touch my ass like it's a baby. They want to grab it, rub it, and stick their face in it, just like my Scout leaders did back in the old days. Fond memories, I tell ya.

The only problem I've encountered is you can't sit down, because the gel packs will burst, leaving you a pantsful of pasty, skin-searing gelatinous waste.

Just blame the egg salad.


The Hatter said...


nip/tuck said...

Sigh. If only I could lend him some of my curves. I've got plenty.

Nosnikta said...

I keep thinking of that episode of Laverne and Shirley where Shirley ordered that butt enhancer and stuck it under her jammie pants.

Do guys really worry about a flat butt???? I've heard of them stuffing the front, but never the back... it's like that joke about the guy who stuck a potatoe in his speedo so he could attract women. It wasn't working and then someone explained to him that it goes in the FRONT!

CutNJump said...

>>The only problem I've encountered is you can't sit down, because the gel packs will burst, leaving you a pantsful of pasty, skin-searing gelatinous waste.<<

Just turn them around and then say you had some perverted thoughts and erupted on yourself. Any woman with half a brain will be all over a man who can deliver such a load. Oh, baby!

Nosnikta said...

Oh yes, I love a man whose orgasms propel me across the room as if hit by a fire-hose. Oh baby oh baby.

CutNJump said...

Talk about power! Does that come with an adjust-a-flow nozzle on the end?

Weasel- between this post, the hairy snack post and some of the others, are you learning things you wish you didn't know?

Weasel said...

I can't sleep at night sometimes.

colorisnteverything said...

What man would buy this?

Really? I saw this on the consumer and wondered if anyone is actually buying International Male. Even my gay friends find this stuff way over the top and past camp.

CutNJump said...

Would that be in regards to being frightened or overly informed?

Merridyn said...

It's like he's modeling them from some magazine. Who puts their special underwear on display like it's such hot shit?! WTF is it for? Does he wear it ice skating?

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

In all fairness, maybe it's just men trying to compete with the Wonder Bra on the fake advertising front?

Considering the different priorities between the genders, a wallet full of Monopoly 100's would be the more appropriate parallel!

Ktluvsbrutus said...

I wonder if you can put those undies in the freezer to keep the gel packs cold? Who wouldn't want iced buns on a hot day? Or - even better - in the microwave to keep your butt warm on a cold day! I think I might buy a pair of those!

CutNJump said...

Seems he's proud of his fake buns enough to wear them outside on the deck. Is there a pool nearby?

Maybe they act like floaties or waterwings...

Nosnikta said...

He needs a hat with pads. Look how tiny his head is.

CutNJump said...

Another really bad thought...

Maybe instead of using the underwear with padding to make his butt look better the padding is to help protect his ass from bruising while taking it from another guy???

Wrong on so many levels... I know!

Nosnikta- are you picturing him with danishes strapped to the sides of his head while stating "Help me Obi Wan. Help me Obi Wan."

With pants used as above it might be more like "Hump me Obi Wan. Hump me Obi Wan."


Nosnikta said...


I missed some of these posts the other day.

"Hump me Obi Wan. Hump me Obi Wan."


Anonymous said...

[b][url=][/url][/b] The trend world is a constantly shifting position that serves like a revolving door for that most popular vogue designers. Fashionistas strive to remain on top of the trend earth by preserve an eye fixed about the up and coming designers which have been making the very best tendencies about the industry nowadays. Just one great way to remain mindful of the newest designers is to frequently examine the style magazines.

[b][url=]cheap uggs[/url][/b] Comprehending just about every step in the acquiring procedure may help you construction your providing course of action plus your marketing supplies to cater into the buyer. Make the effort to consider what your buyer goes by way of when generating the choice to obtain, and alter your company consequently. In accomplishing so, you enhance your chances of making additional income, and landing more satisfied clients..
From your day that John Galliano's globe crashed at Dior, the vogue entire world has speculated who his successor could well be. Everybody from Riccardo Tisci to Nicolas Ghesquiere are already rumoured to be the effective applicant to require over the artistic helm of Dior. Invoice Gaytten worked with Galliano for 23 several years, and was supplied the overwhelming job to generate the Dior Haute Couture assortment in July, the initial collection that had not been completed by Galliano since 1997.

[b][url=]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] The DAX futures agreement is one of the couple of Eurex futures readily available for trade during the United states of america. The recognition of your DAX futures contract for American investors is definitely recognized. The bear marketplace between 2000-2002 designed elevated regulation for working day traders while in the U.s. as quite a few ended up unprepared to get a down market.
replica bags is named following one particular in every of France 6 nation wide theaters Odeon. I guess the reason of why the Damier Graphite Canvas named next a well-known French theater is other than their similar common but modern day overall look they have the identical mission to provide existence for the artistic heritage of Europe. Oscar Deutsch entertains our land, but Louis Vuitton traits our planet..

[b][url=]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] All through 1776-1813, For each Henrik Ling, a fencing learn and gymnast cured himself of rheumatism by means of therapeutic massage and generated Health care Gymnastics and following shaped the Royal Gymnastic Central Institute in Stockholm, Sweden handbags and gladrags website. Inside training course of 500 BC-50 Advert, the Greek and Romans used therapeutic massage on Olympic athletes and also to reduce neuralgia and epileptic seizures. handbags and gladrags blog - In the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644), pediatric massage therapy or tuina evolved right into a higher sort of treatment which happens to be even now utilized today.

Anonymous said...

Win win to run ghd straightener.
Professor Akaneakane Ria again at the transfiguration classroom abuse is also small north face outlet online.
jGmx ghd hair straighteners.
3qLum 1tHtt ghd hair

Anonymous said...

6sVon ghd
rXyi michael kors purses
yMbs ghd hair straighteners
3aPap ugg sale
6oGni ghd offers

Anonymous said...

vXax ghd
hHxz cheap uggs
nGgq michael kors outlet
3eZxp cheap ugg boots uk
1lPrd chi hair products
7uKnx ghd hair straightener
5fUvn nfl jerseys
4jHmx ghd
9pNdz cheap north face
2hIpv botas ugg
3sPmw ghd salon styler
3gMsp michael kors wallet
0yZfd nike nfl jerseys
3aNme plancha ghd
7tBov ugg store

Anonymous said...

9mTno ghd flat iron
nNjd cheap uggs
nJze michael kors sale
9yHos GHD Hair Straightener
1wGxf burberry handbags
6hUur ugg pas cher
0pBys ghd nz sale
6zKzi louis vuitton sale
1kNwi michael kors outlet
6oBki cheapest ghd straighteners
6tPrd ugg boots
4pDlp cheap nfl jerseys
5vMdy michael kors outlet
3bShb ghd
0dCtc discount uggs

Anonymous said...

sUqx ghd
mTjb ugg store
rEqy michael kors
7cFpq ugg boots sale
2vHow chi straightener
4lOzm michael kors outlet
9wTdq wholesale nfl jerseys
2zRqy ghd hair straighteners
2aVwr cheap north face jackets
0vDpf botas ugg españa
3xGzb ghd uk
6uMsk michael kors bags
0eWti nfl shop canada
4gEih ghd
9fAri ugg boots usa

Anonymous said...

TveOne [url=]MCM 財布[/url] ZeqWkh LuiUdo [url=]MCM 店舗[/url] XrtQas KjcTsi [url=]MCM iphoneケース[/url] YyeLeq BkzRpo [url=]MCM iphoneケース[/url] IsxZwe HvcCdu [url=]MCM 財布[/url] YvjByc XhqKrm JziPjs [url=]クロエ アクセサリー[/url] KkjO XemYL [url=]TUMI 26141[/url] CzoHoY LshLgLI [url=]トゥミ[/url] DnbBdi [url=]MCM 通販[/url] PyvOuv [url=]MCM 通販[/url]

Anonymous said...

PsjLub [url=]MCM 韓国[/url] ZbtMgr ZfhXtt [url=]MCM 韓国[/url] CukPto DlnFgf [url=]MCM 通販[/url] KpmJbr ZmmPrp [url=]MCM 財布[/url] GloCer UqcZoo [url=]MCM バッグ[/url] GzwMrg SajGqa DwwMjl [url=]クロエ 財布[/url] DmnO UyoPN [url=]tumi[/url] WdaDwL TwtCqDP [url=]TUMI トート[/url] UlvKfh [url=]MCM 通販[/url] ZgaUgb [url=]MCM[/url]

Anonymous said...

Kelly Hermes Handbags[url=]2013 Hermes Handbags[/url] for sale Replica Hermes[url=]2013 hermes bags[/url] investment option