Sunday, July 13, 2008

New Posts Are Up!

I try to post every Monday and Thursday and sometimes in between, so check back often. And make sure you email all your friends and tell them about the most disgusting, vile, NSFW blog on the planet. (Be sure to say NSFW by the way, because people are getting busted.) And all you FHOTD'ers, I love ya.

Oh, and by the way, some readers are obviously confused. See that picture to your left? That's me, I'm a guy. I keep reading reviews where I'm referred to as a "really funny woman".

My ex-gf would agree, but I gotta stand my ground.


nosey said...

I think your respect for the horse anus and it's no frills job put's you in good with the FHOTDer's, like me. I think I can say...


BELEN said...

Now you just need to take one of you naked humping the bed

jumper said...

Yes, blame Fugs for chasing you out and swamping your fan base!

Love the blog and am SO relieved that I'm definitely not the only one who finds some of these adds just damn scary (and funny as hell) and a good reason to remain happily single.


A new fan!

PS - I also am sure I'm not the only one who thinks our blogger freind looks *hot* (Blush) :p

Walk On said...

lol Jumper, that was one of the first things I noticed!

Witty and easy on the there's stallion material. ;)

Walk On said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Walk On said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
furnacelady said...

Now, now, who's posting stuff that Weasle had to remove??

Bad girls, don't you know he wants to be respected in the morning too?

belen: I made a comment to you about this remark on his other blog. Bad girl, bad!

I think we all agree, Weasle's a damn fine looking man.

manhater said...

I was thinking the same thing. Cute guy, witty as hell and seems to know what NOT to do to get a date, he SHOULD be a human breeding stallion LOL

Poor Guy, gonna have a Huge....ego by time all the FHOTD girls are done here.

Weasel said...

Man, you girls sure know how to heap it on.... thank you.

I dont know whos deleting those comments- it ain't me. I dont and wont delete comments unless its spam or something useless...

Anonymous said...

Look, you’re in the big time stuff now. Quit complaining about performance anxiety. I mean, if you can’t handle this you’ll never make it to The Soup (we all know what a cut throat job that will be). You'd better quit your job and post several of these a day or you’re going to make this adoring mob angry. Nobody wants that to happen, do they?

Nosnikta said...

Stallion material? LMAO... excellent. Yep, he's cute. Cute, funny, and recognizes the assholiness of the goobs. I'd love to hang out with Weasel over a couple of beers.

sellefrancais said...

Hahaha, whoooa girls, whoa.

fjordwoman said...

Weasel, you are brilliant. Your wit makes me laugh so hard I actually get muscle cramps in my abdomen. Keep it up, you ate a genius!

fjordwoman said...

You ARE a genius, not ATE!

Anonymous said...

oh I'm sure he's eaten a genius.

Weasel said...


Anonymous said...

wLooks like FHOTD has taken over here... ;)
Pretty funny though... its like Fugly Man of the Day.. LOL!

sellefrancais said...

Wait. You get paid to write this blog? Uh, how do I get a job like that?

Did I read that somewhere, or am I crazy? Probably the latter, but I swear...

MIC said...

Well I post anon enough I figured I might as well sight up. damnit.

Nosnikta said...

LOL... I am reading the older posts and I have to slap my hand over my face and stifle guffaws so I don't get caught at work. I am certain to blow out an adnoid.

That is a VERY nice lawnchair.

(giggling as she hits send)

Weasel said...

Hell no, I don't get paid!

Yet. :)

I'm a writer, I love this shit anyway, doing it free is no problem becuase the only payment I need is your guys' emails and comments.

BTW, any readers belong to Don't Date Him Girl? Would love to get a link up there, seems appropriate, but my computer bogs on that page for some reson.

Also, if anyone know of any other relevant sites, please email me!

You guys are awesome. I'm going to the gym for a couple hours. Is it okay to hang your cock out while you run on the treadmill?

I'll ask at the front desk.

gemtwyst said...

I, too, am another Fuglyhorse reader who followed the link. It only took 3 sentences for me to become a fan.

And yes, I thought you were a woman at first. The whole post about how penises are ugly and scary-looking threw me off. I never thought I'd witness a guy bashing the almighty pillar of male self-esteem. ;-)

Nosnikta said...

Sure, let it hang out on the treadmill... but be sure to wag it at passing women with a "uh huh??? uh huh??? lookie me lookie me" smirking smile on your face.

I double-dog dare ya lol.

Weasel said...

Hey LP from Canada!

I lost your email you sent me, I didn't mean to dog you out!

Great submissions- they were exactly what I could use, and I lost them and your email, because I was eating my "special needs" pudding while writing.

If you see this, get back to me.

CutNJump said...

Man, you girls sure know how to heap it on.... thank you.

I dont know whos deleting those comments- it ain't me. I dont and wont delete comments unless its spam or something useless...

You are quite welcome! And good to know you do not edit or censor our words either. It's one of the many blissful things about the FHOTD blog too.

I don't know how familiar (or not) you are with horses, but it would be an educational and entertaining read, if you ever run out of material here- which I doubt, just like FHOTD!

NYCowgirl said...

I think it's totally acceptable to let your junk hang out whilst working out on the t-mill. Just be careful not to trip on it...

CutNJump said...

Having your junk hanging out while working out is right up there for attracting a mate alongside all the grunting/roaring coming from the freeweight area.

Y'all know the guys who sound like a nut just EXPLODED as they lifted that ultra-super-heavy-barbell (25 lbs) with the exra 10 lbs on each end when they are doing squats. After a set, consisting of 2, they have to drop the weight to the floor and wipe their brow like they are now Mr. Universe!

Oh baby, me love you long time!


Spotted_T_Apps said...

Good God ladies! Give a girl a chance! I want in too!

Where ya from Weasel? We need a new subject to stalk, we sexed the last one to death.

MinxyQ said...

Another your work and makes me thankful I am out of the dating scene (well at least twice a week...every day would be nice).

Walk On said...

I deleted those comments - my browser stuck and I ended up posting the same thing three times.

Since I find it annoying to read over multiple posts myself, I went back and zapped the duplicates.

You didn't miss anything. :)

Walk On said...

Ok Weasel, what does the "NSFW" stand for? It's probably dead obvious, but I'm about half asleep, so please break it down for me?

Walk On said...

I just can't stay away, what can I say. :)

This time it's about a chick, but daaaaamn can we say "ugly breakup". Then again, if I caught my partner doing someone else in my bed, I'd probably have the same reaction.

sellefrancais said...

Walk On-

Oh how I love the Best of Craigslist. I actually made it on the best of, I'm quite impressed with myself.

Bitch Around the World said...

Courtesy of Houston's Craigslist:


Weasel said...

NSFW- means "Not Safe For Work".

Ironic because 80% of my hits come from your work addresses.

Dirty, dirty people you are.

By the way, if I have to see another dick I'm going to throw myself out a window.

manhater said...

"By the way, if I have to see another dick I'm going to throw myself out a window."

welcome to our world. I've recenly seperated from my husband and the dating scene is a scary scary place.

where do you live weasel? I need a date this weekend *grin*

Anonymous said...

Weasel, did I ever tell you about the time I went on a blind date from one of those video dating places? I felt I had been a little too picky, so I accepted a date from a guy who was a professional Masseur and looked an awful lot like Tony Little.
Anyway, over our MEAL, he starts telling me how he's going to have a colonic the next day. At first I thought he was joking, but when I realized he was serious, I tried valiantly to be "open minded" and managed to come up with a semi-intelligent comment. Ever authentic, I said, "Oh, I could never do something like that. It's too...uh...intimate a thing to be done by a complete stranger. (Translation in my head: "What kind of person would allow a stranger to shove a tube up their ass and pump water?" Think of the after-math...ugh.)
This is when he says,between mouthfuls of Moo-Goo Gai Pan, "Oh, I'm having a friend do it."
I stifled laughter so hard that I almost shot a baby corn out through my nose.
Yes, there are lots of common, ordinary, weirdos out there and these are just the normal weirdos. Jeffrey Dahlmer and Ted Bundy are the stellar examples. Be careful out there, ladies.
The Ever Famous,
BTW, this guy insisted we go "dutch" on the meal AFTER the dinner was over. This is one of those moments in time and memoury where I wish I could go back and just f*ck with his head. Like tell him about the new colonics wholesale warehouse on the south side of town, or that, OMG!, I am thinking about starting a Colonics Spa with a drive-through window. And that I am shooting for kind of like Starbucks in it's ambience, you know? Relaxed, dark interior with couches and rich with pungent smells....

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

anonymous, you MUST be in Los Angeles...right?

That's the only place I ever came across shit that weird.

CutNJump said...

Fugs- she may be in L.A., but those type of freaks are everywhere!

I had a 'lunch date' of sorts with a guy once. ONCE!

We went to a bar I know that has off track betting, pool tables and decent food. Middle of the day and a friend of mine works the betting windows.

Well I always take along enough cash to cover my portion of any meal, etc. so I can at least have a clear conscience and not end up washing dishes.

Turns out he just got out of jail/prison in California, (I don't have a clue where or for what- I didn't ask and didn't want to know) he was living with his parents as well as his sister and her 2-3 kids. He had just started a job, yadda/blah X3.

He procedes to try to break into the pool table so we can play a few games. I went and got the balls from the barkeeper.

We or more like I, had lunch and I bet on a few horses- OTB, won back enough to cover my lunch, which I ate while betting, paid for it and we left. Not much in the line of conversation, thank dog.

As he walks me to my truck I jumped in right away escaping any kiss he may have expected, he says,
"Give me a call later, Ya got my number..."

To which I started my truck thinking- "Yep and it's definately going to blow out the window on the freeway on the way home!"

What a prize!

furnacelady said...

Re:By the way, if I have to see another dick I'm going to throw myself out a window.

Weasle, at least you're not alone, lots of woman probably feel the same.

Anonymous & CNJ: Go the fuck on ladies!! Talk about hitting the jackpot on "dumb asses I got stuck on a date with". Brutal! My condolences!

Merridyn said...

This is a perfect match. Weasel is identifying the self-called (well, usually) "studs" who are really SCREAMING to be gelded.

Somewhere horsey (surprisingly not on FHOTD) I saw folks who had the same FHOTD type snark about studs screaming to be gelded. They had a plot to go on forays by cover of darkness and solve the problem. They called themselves the Midnight Testicle Ninjas.

Anybody here a martial arts person? Train some of us and we can take care of both types of "studs." Having a few on the BSWT bus could save us some gas.

jessica said...

One more FHOTDer here. These cannot be real - please tell me no one places an add like these and expects to get laid. Do these guys really think women look at these photos and think "ooooohhh, that one looks like a veinous mushroom. Mmmmm, I like that."

Walk On said...


That's probably exactly what they expect! Weasel had it dead-on - rent yourself a porno film sometime just for the education. (I had an ex who thought it'd be hot if we watched them together, 10 mins into it I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Great comedy there!)

These things all have the same story line more or less, some dorky looking guy gets a hard on, all these hot chicks fall to their knees begging for it 'cause seeing that makes them so hot.

Seriously, that was the exact story line of the first one he pulled out.

I suspect these guys actually believe this stuff, that we can't see a hard on with out having to have it RIGHT NOW.

Keep dreaming bucko.

CutNJump said...

Walk on & Jessica-

No need to rent a porno, if you have Showtime (the movie channel) they start airing this stuff around 9-10 pm every night.

Complete with just about every faked position imaginable.

Difficult at best to get 'all hot and bothered' when you are laughing your ass off!

Better still, with the tapes, watch them on fast forward. No sound and you can make up the dialogue as you go. Rewind is even better!

wheelin126 said...

Weasel - "I'm going to the gym for a couple hours. Is it okay to hang your cock out while you run on the treadmill?" LOL yes but ONLY if you take a picture of it and post it on a personal ad with really bad spelling trying to get some ass!! LOL

Mel said...

Fugly horse readers are also dead against fugly men- suprise suprise!!

Walk On said...

Mel - you know the motto... "Don't Breed Fugly".

It's all in how you decide to read that, but I think it applies here quite nicely.

There's a whole lota fugly here that ain't getting to breed me! :P

Anonymous said...

I know this is an old post, but once again im (another) Fugly, But i have started reading this blog, and I am passing it along!! Some of these i am trying not to wake up the house (and will be sharing at work tommorow >:) )

- Kit