Monday, July 14, 2008

Depends, Crest, And A Shower Curtain


How about 15% off everything at Walgreens?

Ladies, I know money can be pretty tight at times. I’m willing to help you if you help me. A mutually beneficial agreement. I can be slow and gentle or rough and kinky. I’m a technician working for Walgreens and would be willing to let you use my 15% discount every now and then for a little pleasurable company. I just really want to know who I’m dealing with cause there are some crazy people out here. I will be here for a long time, just think if you used me once a week for a whole year. How much would you be saving? Think about it and let me know, Carl

Hey ladies, you know when you get that mildly horny fantasy about blowing a 46 year-old miniumum wage shelf stocker, and then simultaneously have that sudden hankering for a 1000 ct. bag of cottonballs, some Aqua Net, and a fresh tube of Desenex?

Well you just hit the jackpot.

Meet Carl, a Walgreens "technician", which is corporate-speak for "the guy who rings up your Dentyne."

Anyway, Carl has a great deal for you today, and it's not in Aisle 6.

Because if you let Carl pound you relentlessly in the ass 365 days a year, he "might" let you use his 15% discount at Walgreens, or at least whenever he "feels" like it.

So instead of spending $8 on items, now you'll get them for $6.80, and a free yeast infection in the process.

But no worries. You're at Walgreens. You'll get 15% off your antibiotics.

If he feels like it.

19 comments:

BELEN said...

who needs Fabio?

Weasel said...

This probably the worst post I've ever put on WWHM. Three strikes in comments, and its coming down!

Write: STRIKE!

(If it even gets three comments.)

jumper said...

Hmmm - do we get 15% off of eye bleach too? As Fugly comes in all types, I'll vote for 'foul ball' as apposed to strike -

BELEN said...

But what about all those savings?

fuglyhorseoftheday said...

Trying to play sugar daddy without any sugar. You know, if he were the Walgreen's pharmacist, he could get a LOT of ass on Craigslist. Just imagine...ladies, I have Vicodin!

CutNJump said...

Gee 15% off at Walgreens! I think that is about the absolute Cheez-iest pickup line EVER!

Even if all he is looking for is a friends with benifits arrangement or a one night stand.

gemtwyst said...

"free yeast infection"

LMAO!!!

I think I got a yeast infection just by reading that scumbag's ad.

Ms. Wrong said...

What a twat, everyone knows the only guys that get laid for their employee discounts work for Macys..

lookatmesmile said...

I actually think he's talking about being a "pharmacy technician". Normally employees only get the 10%. So he's definitely in the big time.

har har

*Amber* said...

Wow, one of the gramatically correct ads is a stock-boy who gets a shitty discount from his place of employment. *sigh*

Mack Truck said...

I wonder if he'll clean the whole trailer for you, or just sweep the sheets on the bed?

Walk On said...

Wow...15% off crap at Walgreens? Huh, maybe someday he'll make enough money to spring for the 10 dollar whores.

I'm sure he's got a fine future in store, after all, McDonalds is always hiring. :P

CutNJump said...

Now can I use that 15% discount to buy myself some new clothes?

The Walgreen’s here carry not only the cheesy tourist T-shirts and sweatshirts with the name of the state on them, but also an array of sandals, shorts, pajama pants, T-shirts, sweatshirts, socks, pantyhose and a small line of bra's & panties.

See we could all be decked out in a new wardrobe in no time. Let's not forget those styling shades and a cool looking old fogy hat to complete the ensemble...

kahara said...

That's nice. He's essentially offering money for sex.

What I really want to know is how many people actually answered his ad with serious intentions?

furnacelady said...

I had almost the same visual as Weasel, but mine was a pimply horny teenage virgin stock boy.

Re Fugs: Just imagine...ladies, I have Vicodin!

Yep, that could be like having the keys to the VIP room! LOL!

Kokorami said...

"just think if you used me once a week for a whole year..." See, this is the one that made me snork my iced tea. What, do you drag his runny little ass up to the counter every time you shop there and get him punched or scribbled on like one of those cards some coffee places have? (I know, most places scan cards now, but it'd be much more fun this way.)

CutNJump said...

Kokrami- if you used him like a punch card, think of all the free body peircings he would have!

Bonus!

Anonymous said...

I thought that this post was hilarious. I love Walgreens. Give me the hookup!

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