Ok, I have a bit of a problem I'm going on a first date with a girl that wants to have sex with me and she thinks I'm expereinced but im really not im a virgin. would someone help me Ive never touched a puusy i think i know what to do i well thanks for replying jeff
From 5-10 years of age, all I wanted in the world was a bicycle. When someone gave me a bike to use, I knew exactly what to do with it. I could have ridden that fucker to Guam.
From 10-15 years of age, all I wanted in the world was a vagina. When someone finally gave me a vagina to use, I had no more idea what to do with it than I would a delivery van stuffed full of irritated farm chickens.
What do I do with a vagina? Talk to it? Offer it a cool, refreshing beverage? Blow into the fallopians? Does this thing have an "Entrance" sign? Why is she crying like she can't find her cat?
Jeff will have the same problem. You could give him a fucking pussy or a Rubik's Cube, or tell him to build a kaleidoscope out of tangerine skins. It won't make a difference. He'll fumble around with it, become confused, and ultimately fail miserably.
And a note for his date tonight:
He's not trying to reset his wristwatch in your pants. He's trying to turn you on.