Sex For You 37 (east)
You want more than a man who uses your body to jerk off with. I can please you and wear you out when we get connected by my appendage. I can make you tingle all over and you'll climax repeatedly until you don't want me to put my junk in you any more. love jason
I was having a conversation with my friend Jen the other day about fantasies. She told me she had a fantasy about a tall, dark, muscular man dressed in armor riding atop a black stallion rescuing her from a beach. Could I, she asked, find a personal ad just for her?
Well, yes Jen, I can.
Except I've replaced "tall muscular dark man dressed in armor" with "short awkward man in tight nut-splitting white cut-offs", I've exchanged "stallion" with a "1986 Ford Ranger," and I've substituted "beach" with "Fresno."
A little different, but it's not going to change the fact that judging by the wording in his ad, when Jason is ready to make love to you, he's going to whisper softly in your ear "Baby, can I bump your moose knuckle?"
Look for Jason's new romance novel "Let Me Cockhump Your Mouth" at a Barnes and Noble near you in July.
16 comments:
wow. I actually just laughed out loud. alone. this is HILARIOUS!
This can't be for real but then again no one could make that shit up...damn near ended up on the floor laughing over this Romeo or should I say my armored rescuer with a black ride..LMFAO!!!!
When I was still single and looking I swore my prince on a white horse was dumped in the desert by the bronc horse of the year.
This guy totally grosses me out! This blog is freaking hilarious.
"When I was still single and looking I swore my prince on a white horse was dumped in the desert by the bronc horse of the year."
ROTFLMAO Oh, please...oh, please, lemme spread that one around. I swear I'll give you credit.
Of COURSE this little gem is from Fresno. I swear this is why I'm single.
any ad that uses the word "junk" to refer to male anatomy is automatically out.
CnJ - that's a great line!
True story: I HAVE a white horse (well, technically gray but you know what I mean). The first time I ever saw her, it was April of 1985 and she was bucking the man who was not yet then my boyfriend (good thing as I wasn't legal yet) off into a mud puddle.
For many years, I thought he was Prince Charming, ignoring my mare's better judgment. Now I just look back and think about him smacking into the mud and LAUGH!
Oh god. XD
See, these are the funniest to me because I'm an incurable English major and oh GOD the imagery--it fails.
The next time I see someone using the word 'appendage' as a euphemism for penis I'm going to remark that it sounds like something that belongs on a squid.
And then express a longing for calamari. Thoroughly fried.
When we're connected by my "appendage"? And "junk"? And he expects to get laid via this ad? Wow
Sorry, but the guy in me just can't let this one slide w/o a correction-- that's not an 80's Ranger but a 1993 Ford F-150 Lightning.
Which is a pretty cool truck.
But unfortunately for Jason, the only ones likely to be impressed by it is going to be hetero male gearheads.
It's been a rough year for me folks and this makes the Christmas season especially tough. I am so glad I found this Blog, because it is chasing the holidays blues away!
LOL Fresno!!!!
Wow, I already don't want his appendage in me. He works fast!
I love armour, swords and stallions - as Long as I am the person saving the guy on the beach and I'm wearing the armour riding the stallion and using the swords ^_^
Thanks for your suggestion. I really appreciate that you took all this time to try and help us. Keep up the good work. Keep on taking action.
Post a Comment