Blind Luck

magic carpet ride

any girl lucky enough to be with me will be flying the skies. you gotta be prepared for this ride because ladies anything is possible when you're with me. Richard.

China has millions of rabbit farms. Is this because China has a ravenous taste for the succulent meat of fresh roasted rabbit? Of course not, we know the Chinese eat nothing but BBQ pork and Tibetans.

China has millions of rabbit farms so your child can purchase a rabbit's foot from a gumball machine at Wal-Mart while you're shopping for porcelain frog candle holders and a trampoline for your cat.

When your child gets that rabbit's foot, he feels pretty lucky.

But ask that rabbit, and he might feel differently. After all, he used to have four of those lucky feet, and all he got was a life stuck in a tiny cage with his face firmly molded into the anus of another rabbit. His only lucky day came when he was fed Tibetans rather than BBQ pork. Dry Tibetan-themed farts were so much easier to handle, and significantly less juicy.

Which goes to show that where one person finds luck, another finds misfortune.

So while Richard may feel that you are "lucky" to find him, a 46 year-old man wearing a Dr. Seuss hat, a flowing superhero cape, and drying his balls with a humidifier, you must first think of all those poor ladies out there who now must suffer with a man in a suit and a Rolex, who dries his balls with a live cashmere goat lying on satin sheets.

So if you're the lucky lady who found Richard, enjoy that ride on the magic carpet. Who knows where it will go?

Maybe Wal-Mart. Because anything can happen with Richard, if you're lucky.